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Depressed and consumed by my weight!

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Depressed and consumed by my weight!

Postby missfoxy » Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:25 pm

Hello everyone,
It' s nice to find a forum like this. I feel like no one will listen to me and I'm going crazy with my condition and weight issues. :x
I'm female, 38 yrs old, 163cm and 91kgs, size 16-18 (never had children). 8 years ago I was a healthy, gorgeous 70kg size 12. If my jeans felt too tight, i'd drop the carbs for a week, no sweets and hit the gym. That 1 kilo loss was gone in a week or 2. I felt in control of my body and it always responded to healthy eating and exercise.
>Suddenly at the age of 30, I began feeling tired and started gaining weight, above all I was cold ALL of the time. I'd stand under the shower till my skin went red, my weight was going up overnight. My GP referred me to a specialist and I was diagnosed with Hashimotos Disease (underactive thyroid) I was prescribed Thyroxine and informed I had to take it everyday for the rest of my life. Whilst the medication relieved the symptoms, my weight had ballooned to 83kg. I was panicked and depressed.
Despite exercising and eating well, I drink minimally, the weight gain continued. It was like my internal furnace just switched off. And everything I'd done in the past no longer worked, it was as if my body had turned on itself. My GP ran blood tests that indicated my blood sugars were high and diagnosed insulin resistance. Over the next 5 or so years my weight continued to climb and I expressed concern over my blood sugars. My GP assured me I 'Worried too much' and I should 'Embrace my curves'. I was carrying a lot of weight but I carried it very well and I never wore cloths to reveal my 'real size'. I became the queen of 'smokes and mirrors'. Flattering jackets, shapewear you name it. Meanwhile my dress sizes went up and up, I could no longer shop at Witchery and I found myself shopping at Kmart and Target just to get clothes to fit, crying in the change room.
>I was averaging 2 thrush infections a month, due to my high blood sugar levels, but my GP just kept suggesting different over the counter meds which never worked. By this time I was run down, obese, suffering hideous mood swings, abdominal pain and tingling in my feet at night. I felt very very unwell.
>In early 2011 at 91kg, enough was enough and I looked for a new GP who would listen to me. Something was wrong. I was sent for bloods and GTT and well well well, "I'm sorry to tell you but you have Type 2 Diabetes". I started sobbing in the GP's office, how had I arrived at this point? I wasn't a sloth that ate McDonalds in front of the TV all day, nor was I a binge drinker, or a sugar fiend yet I was disgusted at myself. Part of me also felt liked I'd slipped through the medical cracks. My gut knew my insulin was too high for too long, but I was assured i had nothing to worry about.
>My GP referred me to a Endocriniologist. He placed me on Diabex which controls the way my body uses insulin. I was assured the weight would 'Fall off' now that I had the thyroxine and Diabex meds under control. He stressed that i needed to exercise everyday Very hard and that it wouldn't be easy due to the Hashimotos, but it will happen. Since that appointment in early 2011. I've not lost or gained a kg. I am stuck on 91kg. In that time, you name it I've done it. All of it very costly, heartbreaking at times and at the end no result. Acupuncture, personal trainer, exercise exercise exercise, strict eating plans with dieticians, hypnotherapy, 5 x naturopaths, 2 x endocrinologists, shakes, 3 meals a day, 6 meals a day...you name it. All up in terms of spend for my weight loss, doctors and medications, i've spent over $15,000, this is pure madness.
The final straw has been the last 2 months. I gave up sugar! No soft drinks, no table sugar in teas or coffee, no ice cream, biscuits, cake, juice, jams, cereals, chocolate, lollies NOTHING. And after 2 solid months, not a single kilo, not a gram of loss. What the hell is going on in my body? Why won't it let go of the weight, I'm trying so hard to repair this damage and get better but it keeps fighting me. I don't even feel like the doctors care or understand, i feel so alone.
>This isn't about being vain or shallow, sure I miss going to the beach and wearing gorgeous clothes but this is about my HEALTH and my future. I don't want to be on this diabetic medication anymore, I've been told I have to lose 20 kilos in order to reverse the insulin resistance and come off the medication but i'm literally on my knees curled up in a ball crying over my situation. It's like my body WILL NOT let go of this weight and i can't work out why. After 8 years of fighting, i'm exasperated.
Is anyone else out there like me? Has anyone overcome a problem like this?
Many thanks for allowing me to voice my story and apologies for the length guys :( . xxx
missfoxy xxx


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missfoxy
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 8:54 pm

Re: Depressed and consumed by my weight!

Postby skinnyinside » Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:22 am

Hi missfoxy, that must be terrible, my sister was diagnosed with hashimotos after her first child, she recently got her thyroid out ( 8 years after diagnosis) as it wasn't doing anything at all and the goiters had started obstructing her swallowing. It must be so frustrating to be trying so hard as seeing no results! I don't really have any suggestions as I'm sure u have thought about this for a long time already, just wanted to pop in and give some support! I hope things turn around for you soon!!
skinnyinside
 
Posts: 169
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:08 am


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