How to convince my girlfriend to lose weight

[senior13]

I love her to death, she’s the sweetest, most loving and most beautiful girl I’ve ever known. That being said her weight concerns me. We’ve been dating for 2.5 years( both of us are 18) and everyday I make sure to kiss her and tell her I love her. She used to be thin, but she never worked out or ate healthy( mainly dougnuts, pizza, and burgers) her metabolism was that good. Those years of sitting on the couch watching tv and eating have caught up to her and it concerns me. It hasn’t been like a 10 pound gain or anything small, she’s gone from like 110 to I’d say around 210-215. Every few weeks we’ll be at the mall buying her new and bigger shirts and jeans because the old ones “ shrank in the wash”, won’t fasten or button” or are “getting pretty tight”. Sometimes she’ll come over and eat entire bags of chips or Oreos I’m a pretty healthy guy and I honestly love running outside. I invite her but she declines and is content on the couch.
Sometimes she can be disgusting and sit on the couch and belch and fart. Her breakfast at school is a pair of chocolate doughnuts, a cookie, and a few Snickers. All she eats is fast food and whenever we go out, she orders unhealthy entrees and we have to order appetizers and desserts every time otherwise she won’t be full and I'll end up at a fast food joint at midnight. It’s not some superficial“ I don’t want to date you because you’re big” thing, I want to stay with her and help her. How do I talk to her because it’s probably a sensitive topic? Maybe she likes who she is. I hate watching her struggle because of the weight with walking to class, sitting in desks, and wearing the school uniform. I wish I could talk to her parents but they’re overweight as well. Her mom( real nice lady) keeps my girl on a solid diet of deep fried Southern food( moved from Miss. to Chicago) that is only making her bigger, fatter, and more lethargic. At one dinner I watched her eat a solid pound or so of both mac n cheese and mashed potatoes before eating fried chicken and cake. That night she fell asleep in my arms from a food coma. Needless to say we went clothes shopping.

[Blitz]

Apart from holding a full scale drug style intervention this approach won't work. None so blind that don't want to see. Actually this isn't true...she knows...and better than you do. It is admitting the need for change that is the hardest. To say out loud, "I'm out of control...I need to change". This is something that she has to do for herself.

If you nag or "encourage" she will dig in and not change. Any discussion you have must use the words "this how it makes me feel", "I'm worried about your health...I don't want to lose you" and stuff like that. It must be full of 'my feels' words.

The detective writer Dorothy L. Sayers once said to her friend after having difficulty getting a her car - "The elephant is crated!" Fat people often use humour to deflect the sting of what they have become. I used it myself but I tell you that I knew what was what. Lines like "shrank in the wash" show me that she is aware of her problem. You have to be supportive but not on her back and you also must not enable her to continue down this path (no more buying "special treats" - they aren't helping)! This is her unconscious pay off for continuing this lifestyle. It is a fine line that you must tread.

Change is always scary but change is essential if you don't want to bury her before her time.
We are here to help.

Kim

[jemimah]

It's better to make her understand about his growing weight and tell the truth about how it will difficult for her in the future. It is nice to be rude for the better rather than losing her.

[admin]

unfortunately when it comes to weight loss it needs to be her her choice's because if her minds not in it it wont work but if she has a strong reason deep within that she can use as drive that's a good reason for some people to kick butt so whats her reason ?

[Miss D]

Hi there. You sound a lot like my fiancé. He has been with me thru all the weight gain and not once has said a thing to me. I gained a lot of weight during my first pregnancy and then never lost it and then didn't care about my self enough to actually do something about it which I regret now. I am almost double the size I was when we first started dating. I believe your girlfriend can see how much she is gaining which is why all the comments about clothes shrinking. I think I have actually used that once or twice myself. :-/
When I first started gaining all the weight I used to find excuses why I was getting bigger/why my clothes were tight/outgrowing clothes. Thinking back now thinking back I think I wish I controlled myself more and looked after myself ALOT more then I did. Only your girlfriend can make the change, she needs to be committed to losing the weight and trying to eat healthier. Without will power and self control there is very little she can do. There's things you can do to help her like maybe pack some lunch yourself for her, go hiking on a trail sometime, or both do a hike and a picnic its one way to help her. You can tell her your concerns but you have to put it lightly and I'm sure you don't want to say anything that will offend her. Maybe take her out on a date but not to a food place but to somewhere where is will be active, something she may enjoy. I am sorry I cant be much help.

[hanney882]

Your girlfriend is so lucky to have you. You are so loving and caring boyfriend ever. I think you need to make her understand her weight. Give her healthy foods from now on and don't let her eat junk foods and some sweets. It is better if you her healthy foods like fruits, veggies and some healthy snacks. Make her realize that she gain weight and tell her that she need to do some workouts.