DD Diva wrote:I don't understand, in an earlier post (somewhere) I read that you felt you were more confident, especially in your job and amongst work colleagues.
But here you're saying you haven't changed at all.
I think you have changed remarkable, and I don't mean just the physical aspects.
You've had a lot happen in your life, and I can hear what you're saying (even between the lines).
I hear your bitterness towards the mere thought of another relationship (completely understandable by the way).
I hear your fear, what will become of you, how will you cope once you have no more weight to lose??????
I hear your sadness, the weekly challenge which once drove you, motivated and spurred you on, and now that's ended....what will drive you (the same way)???
So many people lose weight, and can't cope with their new found attitudes, they are afraid of the world and how it treats them differently (as non-overweight people); they get "lost in the crowd" or as I feel (even now, and with weight still to lose) that I've become "invisible" where once I felt the eyes of the world on me, checking out my butt or thighs and judging/mocking me!!! Now people are either looking at me, and checking me out (in a good way) or I am totally lost in the crowd.....and you know, I don't care either way!!!

I changed the person I am at work, not because I lost weight. I did that, I seeked help where needed, professionals, because I was sick of the person I was, not just in the mirror either.
So what, my life has been a roller coaster, and it is way worse than anything I have said here, but there are kids and families in this world that can't even afford a salad to eat, that are skinny because they have no food, that do not have a TV. I don't see how I have a right to complain.
I am bitter towards a relationship because when I am in one I lose my values, I lose myself. That is not the life I want to live. Yes I have been mistreated of late, but it is nothing more than a lesson of life to me now.
When I lose the weight I want, nothing will come of me, will still do the same stuff every day, play games, eat good and exercise... I never socialize, except with family.
My next "Drive" in life is my job, I want to rock up to work and show them that I can kick there butts all over the place in sales, in customer service and so forth, I am going to make them wish they believed in me, and did not treat me poorly, and gave me the full time position I am just about to be turned down on. Then when I have them so wrapped up in my performance, I will leave to another job that deserves me. I am sick of being the nice guy who get's walked all over.
I will only be given my energy to people that deserve it..