Why Do People Fail to Successfully Lose Weight?

[Blitz]

Quite a few people have had some success at losing some weight but find it difficult to see it all the way through to the end.
I have a few theories about why people fail to reach their target goal weight or fail to keep it off.
But my weight journey's story is that I've only ever attempted to lose weight the one time so I'll love to hear the insider's view.
Why is it people fail to successfully lose weight?
What do you believe caused past attempts to fail?
Please share your beliefs and experiences so that we can gain insight.

Kim

[Divalicious]

Answer (in one word): MINDSET

Most people who "go on a diet" or even if they don't use the "D" word, who embark on a "weightloss journey" do it as a TEMPORARY thing, until they "get into that little black dress (for friend's wedding)" or "by summer" or for some outfit, event, time period!!! What they fail to comprehend is success though achievable cannot be maintained if it has an expiry date on it!!! As you know too well Kim, there are "no holidays from weightloss" and although once at goal, maintenance can incorporate a small sojourn but by no means an extend sabbatical!!!
The way I see it is simple...........
Weightloss - the journey is temporary, just until you get to your destination but once there, the battle to maintain ground is FOREVER!!!

[Blitz]

I think your post Josie is full of insight gained from this leg of your journey (only a whisper left to go...grab it! ).

I guess my initial post was a bit vague.
What I'm interested in with this question is the inner dialogue that people have within themselves that gives them "permission" to stop and go backwards. What is it that inner voice is saying that is so compelling that people are prepared to chuck away months of hard work and kilos of good results? I've seen it here at the Forum many times. Someone is doing really well and then *bang* - they let themselves go. What are they telling themselves that so effectively kicks away all that good lifestyle practice they were doing? That is what I want to understand.

BTW Josie...

although once at goal, maintenance can incorporate a small sojourn but by no means an extend sabbatical!!!

My small maintenance sojourn lasted one whole day! When I hit goal I celebrated by taking my wife and daughter out that night to our favourite Chinese restaurant. The next morning I didn't weigh myself...giving myself the "day off". The morning after that I did - 1.9kg gain from goal! - lesson learnt...no more sojourns - no more holidays!

Kim

[CronicBadger]

I think the reason varies. For me, I slipped a bit over the past few years. It was a case of not being vigilant against old habits creeping back combined with the recent novelty of not working, being bored, and spending too much time in the proximity of the pantry and fridge. I'm over it and doing the long hard slog back, but it was a good lesson to learn.

What saved me from disaster though, was not considering my weight-loss as a temporary "diet", but as a complete and necessary lifestyle change. As a result, I did not revert to "business as usual", but my new healthy habits got frayed at the edges.

[Tams]

I also wonder if there will be a difference for men and for women??

I think for women, it may be closely tied to emotions. The old demon of emotional eating prompts the fall, and then the pleasure/reward we get from salty/sugary/fatty foods kicks in. In many cases, it would be akin to asking why an addict falls off the wagon (and then stays off the wagon).

I think there is also an ability to disconnect the reality of eating and what it does to our bodies in terms of getting fat. Perhaps some of this is fueled by tv/media?? We see all these skinny pretty people eating and often eating crap. So surely, once we are skinny, we can behave in the skinny pretty people way?? Only to wake up fat at some later stage!

Those are my thoughts and experiences anyway...

[Blitz]

I think Marc and Josie, you have come to the some idea from the different ends of it.
The idea that it requires lifestyle rather than temporary diet.

Tams the addict idea is an interesting one.
What I'm probably asking for is akin to figuring out what goes into an ex-addict's head just before he/she relapses.
I remember reading the book Christiane F and seeing the movie with it's graphic depiction of Christiane and her boyfriend going cold turkey in her bedroom.
Now clean, they decide to go to the train station (the place where they bought drugs and prostituted themselves) to show their friends that they have kicked the heroin habit...and encourage their friends to follow their example.
Once there, their good friend is pleased for them but offers them some heroin. Without missing a beat they accept saying they are only going to do it "this one last time". They were hooked again and all that horrid cold turkey agony they went through was for nought.
What is that whisper in the ear that is so persuasive?

Kim

[Tams]

"They can do it...then so can I"

"Just once won't hurt"

"It's different now...I'm in control"

(Remembering of course the motto once an addict, always an addict...you can see those lines are lies)

With emotional pain, probably no words, or a resounding "Stuff it!!"

[Blitz]

Interesting thoughts Tams.
I'm going to give them some mediation and consideration.
One of the thoughts that kept me on track was the idea if I let myself go once then it was only a matter of time before I would end up pigging out all the time. That is why one of my chief combat thoughts for me was "that's not who I am any more - I don't eat junk like that any more"...clearly trying to differentiate the "old' me from the "new" me.

Kim

[Divalicious]

One of the thoughts that kept me on track was the idea if I let myself go once then it was only a matter of time before I would end up pigging out all the time. That is why one of my chief combat thoughts for me was "that's not who I am any more - I don't eat junk like that any more"...clearly trying to differentiate the "old' me from the "new" me.

Exactly!!!!
And therein lies the key to PERMANENT success!!
Identifying the "old" with the "new" you!!!
I know that this Diva has "fallen" but she most certainly has not given up, or will be completely defeated!!!
I may have gained a little (ok 3.6kg is not exactly a little) but I've done worse than that on holidays (as anyone who has followed my journey will know, I've gained 10kg in 2 weeks of holiday) so gaining less than half of that in 2 weeks of starting a new job is pretty good going in my book!!!
I KNOW for a fact that the "old" me would have given up by now, and that I'd have thought "well I've done it now, so might as well go all the way and just forget this diet" but not THIS TIME!!! The "old" Josie is gone and any setback (no matter how big or small) is stopped dead in its tracks, and it's back on the wagon the next day, which is why I think the gain (albeit not good) is nowhere near as disastrous as it could have (or would have) been in the past!!!

[Blitz]

Improving your character - becoming your "better person" is tough but ultimately it is the only way that change can stand the storms of life.
I like to think that finally in this fifth decade of my life that I've finally stepped up and become that which I should have been ages ago.

Kim

[CronicBadger]

Yes, my own weight-loss effort was also tied to improving myself as a person. It had to, because being the person I was made me fat in the first place. I'm still in the process of correcting the many flaws, but it gets easier over time and with practice.

[Blitz]

I was listening to a recording of my favourite preacher the other day.
In it he was underlining the importance of integrity in people's lives.
His definition was: to change your character in such a way that your walk is consistent with your talk.
Integrity of character takes time to hone (and it's perfection will take your whole lifetime!) but once in place it becomes the difference between doing and being.

Kim

[äirly]

I have successfully lost weight, but been unsuccessful in hitting my goal weight - so I suppose I qualify to answer this

Firstly, I dont consider my weight loss journey a failure as such. At my largest I was approx 80-82 kgs, which put my BMI at 28.4 (obese is 30+, so I was in the upper limits of the overweight category). I was very unhappy and embarrassed about myself. Initially I lost about 6 kgs over 4 or so months (taking me to 75kgs). After sitting there for 6 or so months I got down to 69-70kgs (healthy weight range) and a year or so after that got to 66kgs. My goal weight from the start was 62 kgs.

Later on (after pregnacy) I went from 74kgs post baby to 68 kgs, and Ive sat between 68-70kgs since, about a year. Goal weight still 62kgs.

Losing weight, at least for me, is hard work. I don't mean the will power of putting down the chocolate bar etc, but the physical and emotional demands. Eating fewer calories often gives me a headache, I feel tired and find myself getting short tempered or emotional fair more than usual. Food, calories I've eaten, progress I've made, mistakes, hunger, all play on my mind in a kind of constant 'background noise'. Its gets pretty exhausting actually. Ive never been able to keep the momentum going at it til the end.

I'd be interested to hear your theories Blitz!!!

That said, I give myself a pat on the back for successfully maintaining my current weight. Although I would still like to lose another 6-8kgs for vanity reasons Top tips for maintaining weight = regular exercise (I make it a habit to walk with the pram for 40min most days of the week) and the absolute must REGULAR weigh-ins.

[Blitz]

Thanks for your thoughtful contribution to this threat.

You are very right when you say that losing weight is hard work. That is why I get so riled up when I see those ads on tv or covers of books promising that you can lose weight without exercise, eating less, in next to no time or whatever - there is always a cost and an effort involved. By promising utopian solutions they are setting people up to fail.

It is interesting to read your journey's story.
My take on it is that the reason why perhaps you have not yet reached goal is because the urgency for you to do so isn't there.
My advice to people starting out in weight loss is that they have to get their head in the right place.
They have to turn the WISH to lose weight into a WANT to lose weight into a MUST lose weight mind set.
That is why I tell them to count the costs and benefits for losing weight AND not losing weight.
Once they have done this, then they can count the costs and benefits better - and change.
Hopefully in this process the WISH turns to WANT and finally into a MUST.
For me losing the weight became a life or death matter.
I had convinced myself (and with good reason) that if I didn't lose the weight then I had only a very short time left on this earth.
That certainly put some urgency to the task to say the least!

Reading your story I feel that you've got to the WANT stage of the mind set and just stopped short of the MUST stage.
You've done enough (and good for you to do what you have done ) to stave off the disaster but still remain under the shadow.
Being 6 to 8 kilos over your goal weight is comfortable for you.
The cost and time to travel to goal weight is not urgent because you are not sold on the need (MUST) to get there.
The cost in your mind outweighs the benefit to do so.

Thanks again for your post...gave me a lot to think about.

Kim

[evolutionmadison]

Let me ask you this: If every week you looked in the mirror to see visually noticeable results, would you continue doing what you are doing?
Let me answer that for you. YES, you would.
It doesn’t matter how “hard” what you’re doing is, you’d still continue to do it.
In fact, you’d probably work out even more and tighten up your diet even more as a result of the RESULTS you’re experiencing.
So, the key factor here is the visible results that keep you motivated for hard work and more tighten schedules.
Loosing weight is a very gradual process which takes time, so keep doing your work. In long time you will definitely see the results.