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Those Well-meaning People Around Us

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Those Well-meaning People Around Us

Postby CronicBadger » Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:19 pm

One particular hindrance to people trying to lose weight can be the people around them - family, friends, colleagues.

During my own weight-loss journey I've had people ask me to stop, since I was changing too much and it didn't seem right. Others would say "Aw, you're not too fat, you just have a bit too much condition on ya." And, of course, "Go on, eat it, I know that's your favourite! What's wrong with you."

Sometimes you just gotta tell them "NO!"

However, what about a person who is obese, unhealthy and unaware that the condition can be rectified? I've seen this all the time.

An obese, unhealthy and unhappy person will complain about feeling:
- single and unwanted, or
- fat, or
- tired all the time, or
- always huffing and puffing, or
- that they can never buy decent, fashionable clothes

A bunch of their friends and family immediately jump in with things like:
- "There's nothing wrong with you! You're a beautiful/handsome person and just haven't met the Right One!", or
- "It doesn't mean anything. It's what's inside that counts!", or
- "Get more sleep.", or
- "Maybe you have asthma. Don't walk around so much!", or
- "That shop only caters for anemic super-models, you should search for 'realistic' clothing ranges elsewhere."

I'm sure these people mean well, but that fleeting pat on the back will not help the person who is obese and unhealthy. All it does is make the "helper" feel that they did something positive for that person, and further misdirects them from confronting the real reason for their misery.

The fact that this sort of well-meaning BS sabotages the person from taking action that will genuinely improve their life is, to my mind, not an act of kindness.

But, I tend to keep my mouth shut in such situations, because chances are my honest advice would be overheard or reported and I'd be taken to task as being "horrible" and "rude" by their family and friends. Meanwhile, their obese and unhealthy family member or friend is most likely destined for a harder, less happy and shorter life than they should have had.
Striving to improve in every way possible.
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Re: Those Well-meaning People Around Us

Postby Blitz » Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:48 pm

It is lack of insight that is the cause.
They simply aren't trending down your journey's path and are unable to understand the issues.
Most are well meaning but just don't get it.

Successful weight loss means prioritising establishing a healthy lifestyle in your life.
To an outsider this seems a tad obsessive particular to those who don't have a problem (or chose to ignore the issue in their lives).
Its just a plain "unthinkingless" that is happening for most of them and not done with mean intent.
They do love you - just they express it the wrong way.

The ones that get me are those that do the sabotage with intent (whether consciously or unconscious level).
Those are the people who lift themselves up by pulling those around them down. :roll:
The best way to deal with those types is to understand them (and feel sorry for them - ultimately this is a dreadful way to live)
and keep your distance as much as possible.

Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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