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In the old days....

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Postby Jisgone » Thu Mar 29, 2007 5:36 pm

this was a great thread :P
for me when im thinking about grabbing some horribly unhealthy food i ask myself if ide rather eat the food or be thin, and being thin wins every time :)
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Postby Ally » Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:05 pm

Hey Dee that is the very thing I struggled with tonight...I knew I had not eaten all that well and I was not going to write dinner in my food diary and I started to go to bed and started thinking things over....I decided to do it as I am cheating anyone but myself if I don't and I thought, well I have eaten it, I should write it down...this is where I go wrong I will make a promise to myself, break it, then not continue....that is not going to happen anymore...and sure enough when I wrote it down it made me realise that although it wasn't the best choice for dinner I didn't eat anywhere near what I normally would of it and I even posted it here!! Lately I have been telling myself that I am worth more than the choc/lolly/crap that I am about to eat and it works....several times this week I have gone to eat something and thought, no I deserve better and it has stopped me every time!!
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Postby dancer » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:13 am

Good On You Ally!

I like the idea of telling yourself you're worth more than the chocolate etc....

I'm going to try that one. It is always a constant battle but isn't great when you win and resist the unhealthy choice.
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Postby milkyway » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:19 am

Great thread!

I used to stash my chocolate bar wrappers inside other regular food wrappers in the rubbish bin. Or I'd put them in a pocket and put them in a rubbish bin at the station or at the local shops, or inside the doggie poo bags :oops: cos I knew no one was gonna look in there.
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Postby Donk » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:37 am

I haven't cleaned my car for some time :oops: , but just the other day I was searching for something in there and found a box of some kind of chip/scrackers stuffed under the seat, after I didn't want my gf to see I had purchased them in Ballarat and finished them off by the time I got home to Geelong.

I used to do that quite often when I made that journey every day. The storage unit in the back of the seat was always full of empty chip packets, and I mean the 200gram ones, or whatever size the big ones are.
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Postby Chunkster » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:53 am

Good thread Kate!!! I had forgotten about what I used to do when I was at my biggest. I guess my most "piggy" moment was buying a lamington cake with mock cream and strawberry jam in the middle from the best bakery in the world and taking it home between jobs with the intention to only eat a bit. But after eating 3/4 of it and realising that my flatmate would wonder why only 1/4 of a cake remained in the afternoon when it wasn't even there in the morning...I chucked the rest in the bin and put heaps of other rubbish on top of it to cover it up. :oops:

I also used to leave home 10 mins early every morning so I could drive through the Macs drive through and get 2 sausage mcmuffins and an orange juice and I would eat it on the way to work and have it finished at the intersection just before the car park so no one would see. If I hadn't finished yet I would drive around the block so I could finish it before pulling up.

Man...I was so pathetic!!! I can't even imagine doing that now. When I see photos of myself at that weight (approx 120kgs) I can't believe I thought I was happy. It's amazing what false comfort food can give you!!!
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Postby dancer » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:20 am

I love this topic, which is why I pulled it out again from January!

I realised though that I haven't confessed myself. Only prob is that my behavior isn't that far in the past yet.

I would hide chocolates in my underwear drawer and chocolate biscuits in the walk-in wardrobe. I would watch something different to DH in another room so I could munch on whatever treats I had hidden. I too would wrap up the evidence in many layers of plastic etc and hide them in the bottom of the bin. I also used to get Maccas or KFC or chocolates and scoff them before I got home and dispose of the packets in the bin down the road. I then sometimes had to eat 2 dinners because I didn't want DH to know I had already eaten. Disgraceful.

I've even gone into the toilet to eat chocolate when we temporarily lived in a granny flat whilst building. :oops: :oops:
I think that was my light bulb moment. I mean my God in our bathroom toilet? How desperate for chocolate was I? There's something seriously wrong and inherently deceitful about the whole thing.

OOh boy it feels good to get that off my chest and seeing it here in print really helps.

I really feel like I have it within me to stop this behavior now!
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:44 am

I used to (and now there are still times when I want to because it is so hard to break a habit overnight) binge eat because it has become so routine for me to eat my emotions away. To hide from the fact that I was angry,stressed, hurt, upset, board, lonely, mad, miserable, disappointed-and it never solved any of my problems; I just felt worse off and I would berate myself for being such a 'fat pig' and not being able to control my emotional eating.

I don't know about anyone else but during those stages I just went into a trance where rational thought did not exist. I would eat and eat, usually an entire loaf of bread and then I would get out of that trance and usually end up breaking down in tears because I was so ashamed of what I had done.

All this was done in secret I would hide it from my partner, friends and family; I blamed my weight gain on moving in with my partner, having a stressful job. I didn't want anyone else to know about my shameful disrespect and damage I was doing to my body. I would hide the evidence by trashing all the rappers and go out and buy whatever I'd just eaten so no one would know. But it didn't stop there- I would literally feel so sick and I'm so embarrassed to say this but I would make myself throw up and then not eat for the rest of the day :oops: :oops: :oops: .

Writing this now is a bit painful because I'm admitting to myself that I do have a problem with food and I'm working on it. Food is not my enemy. I am my enemy that uses food to harm myself. And there are days when I'm so hard on myself because of one thing or another and I want to have a piece of strawberry jam on toast just for that soothing comfort but it doesn't stop at one slice it will go for 6-8. But now I'm implementing other coping mechanism because I have reached that point of respecting and loving my body. I deserve to treat it with love and harmony I know it won't be easy but I do know that I never want to go back to what I used to do to cope with life.

If I want to eat for reasons other than genuine hunger I will have a glass of chilled water and write what I am feeling. Reflecting on this makes me feel better than eating junk ever did.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:55 pm

hey dancer

of course you can do something about this behaviour- you have taken a big step to admitting it and writing it down. we arent going to judge you, as you can tell, many of us did similar things!
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Postby dancer » Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:35 am

Nice Post A_Corner_Of_The_Earth It really hit home with me and I took inspiration from it.

Well Done on loving and respecting your body now. We should all love what we have.
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Postby Ally » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:02 pm

Good on you for fessing up Jennifer....it is great that you are dealing with it and you know that you will always have our support to help you through, should it arise again.....I think that is the main thing, when we stuff ourselves we are being so unkind to our bodies and it is not until you realise that, that things start to change!! I understand the trance like thing you were referring to as
last night with the pizza...I didn't want it, didn't need...and before I knew it I was standing there with one less piece of pizza in the box!! I was standing there like a moron wiping pizza grease off my mouth and I didn't even realise it!! :?
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Sun Apr 01, 2007 1:29 pm

dancer wrote:Nice Post A_Corner_Of_The_Earth It really hit home with me and I took inspiration from it.

Well Done on loving and respecting your body now. We should all love what we have.


Hey dancer, I am glad you are able to take inspiration from this. I too get inspired by all the wonderful people on this forum. Knowing that I can turn to this forum for support and accountability does help a great deal.

Yes I do believe that self love is very important because if we don't love ourself how can we treat our body with respect that it deserves- otherwise the cycle of abusing our bodies will continue.
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Sun Apr 01, 2007 1:37 pm

Ally wrote:.....I think that is the main thing, when we stuff ourselves we are being so unkind to our bodies and it is not until you realise that, that things start to change!! I understand the trance like thing you were referring to as
last night with the pizza...I didn't want it, didn't need...and before I knew it I was standing there with one less piece of pizza in the box!! I was standing there like a moron wiping pizza grease off my mouth and I didn't even realise it!! :?


I totally agree Ally- I didn't know this until I had a light bulb :idea: moment and I realised that I was inflicting harm on myself. A form of self abuse and a vicious cycle I was caught up in. Don't get me wrong, it is very difficult not to go down that path but I stop myself first and have a little chat with myself which usually helps.

Don't be so hard up on yourself either. You know what at least you are admitting that you consumed it- so you are owning up to the fact that ‘yes you ate it’ and becoming aware is very important because little by little it becomes easier not to eat something for the sake of eating it.
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Re: In the old days....

Postby SarahC » Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:42 pm

Just dug up this old thread, was just thinking of it.

Have a new confession to add to it :lol: Wanna know what I did while I away? Had flown from LA to Las vegas and assumed there would be lunch on the flight. There wasn't! So by the time I finally arrived at the hotel, I was feeling quite peckish.

What happened, I somehow managed to get lost while walking around the hotel. And whilst walking the hallways, noticed a few room service trays with leftover food on them been left outside some rooms...... Yes, I ATE OTHER PEOPLE'S LEFTOVERS!!

This is the height of grossness!!

I wonder, what other horrible things has everyone else done? :D
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Re: In the old days....

Postby Tarz » Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:44 pm

I am in stictches - That is hilarious :lol: :lol:
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