I used to (and now there are still times when I want to because it is so hard to break a habit overnight) binge eat because it has become so routine for me to eat my emotions away. To hide from the fact that I was angry,stressed, hurt, upset, board, lonely, mad, miserable, disappointed-and it never solved any of my problems; I just felt worse off and I would berate myself for being such a 'fat pig' and not being able to control my emotional eating.
I don't know about anyone else but during those stages I just went into a trance where rational thought did not exist. I would eat and eat, usually an entire loaf of bread and then I would get out of that trance and usually end up breaking down in tears because I was so ashamed of what I had done.
All this was done in secret I would hide it from my partner, friends and family; I blamed my weight gain on moving in with my partner, having a stressful job. I didn't want anyone else to know about my shameful disrespect and damage I was doing to my body. I would hide the evidence by trashing all the rappers and go out and buy whatever I'd just eaten so no one would know. But it didn't stop there- I would literally feel so sick and I'm so embarrassed to say this but I would make myself throw up and then not eat for the rest of the day
Writing this now is a bit painful because I'm admitting to myself that I do have a problem with food and I'm working on it. Food is not my enemy. I am my enemy that uses food to harm myself. And there are days when I'm so hard on myself because of one thing or another and I want to have a piece of strawberry jam on toast just for that soothing comfort but it doesn't stop at one slice it will go for 6-8. But now I'm implementing other coping mechanism because I have reached that point of respecting and loving my body. I deserve to treat it with love and harmony I know it won't be easy but I do know that I never want to go back to what I used to do to cope with life.
If I want to eat for reasons other than genuine hunger I will have a glass of chilled water and write what I am feeling. Reflecting on this makes me feel better than eating junk ever did.