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Has anyone had this problem?

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Has anyone had this problem?

Postby talia11 » Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:24 am

I have always had an issue with my weight, and for as long as I can remember, people would say, 'youre just big boned' or 'cuddly'. Now this used to drive me insane - I hated it!!
When I said I wanted to start my program to my family, my islly mother (who I will say I am NOTHING like - unfortunately I inherited my father's body and not her slim figure) says to me 'all you need to do is stop eating bread and you will be fine!!
And then there is my skinny friends (my nestie who is a model, so you get me that she def is skinny) telling me all the time how fat they are!
Now it really annoys me (and I know it shouldn't) but I cant stand how people who had NO IDEA about what it is like to wake up and not even want to look at yourself in the mirror, try and tell you things you just don't want to hear!!!
LOL, despite this, I am a hugely confident woman with an amazing new husband (we have been married 6 months) who loves me to death...!!!
Carmen - Weight Watchers -Goal 72kg

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Postby Jisgone » Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:31 am

i have the same skinny mother and the same skinny best friend only the friend says 'what do u need to go on a diet for' the lack of food to the brain obviously makes her think 125kg is healthy hehe
just battle through it, it does get easier after the first 10 or so kgs they were all on my side and proud of me so give them some time :)
i cant stand the people who say u are just big boned
i say my bones are the only normal sized part of me, leave em alone :P
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Postby Ally » Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:38 am

oh yes those comments are just lovely aren't they?? (NOt!!). I agree Jewels you just have to look past it all and move on to greater things! Friends will often discourage weightloss for their own insecure reasons, so it is best to not listen when they say things like that!

As Jewels said her friends and family are now supportive, so you never know what lies ahead of you........
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:04 am

oh yes... where do i start with my family!

"cut out softdrink and you will lose the weight"
"pfft, you went for a run... haha why would you run for"
"you look like your old fat grandma that died before you were born"
"fatty katty"
"eww you have disgusting skin"

and then my step dad went back to newzealand to visit his sick mate and he come home with souveniers. he brought me two woollens jackets in a size 20.

whilst i was losing weight i cut out carbs so at family functions i was told i could still eat the carby food there and still lose weight. my aunty had lost a bit of weight before i started losing weight so she had to share her diet with me and i had to hear about every kilo lost.

my sister told me not to have any more kids because it will ruin all the hard work ive done. my other sister rang me the other day disgusted that she was 70kg and has started on the celebrity shake program from priceline because its embarrassing being 70kg. talk about being kicked when you are down.

so yeah ive had my share of unsupportive people, but i have my fiance who has supported me every step of the way, and even brought me some flowers when i reached my goal. he is the one i live with and value his opinion over everyone elses' so thats all that matters. some people just dont like to see other people making great changes in their life.
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Postby Ally » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:26 am

awww Kate!! Gosh with family like that you sure don't need enemies!!

Look on the other side darl....you have lost 21kgs...you look fabulous....you are happy with your weight....bugger what they think!!!

YOu have done really well and you are a huge inspiration to people here Kate, don't let them get you down!!
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:48 am

I can certainly relate.

My family are all tall (6foot +) and all very skinny. I'm the exception short and overweight. I get told by my skinny mother to stop eating bread and the weight will fall off and how I've inherited my fathers mothers genes and if I don’t' want to end up looking like her I should be watching what I eat. I get told by my very good friend (who only weighs 40kgs but isn't ana, always been naturally slim) to eat organic, cut of wheat products and the weight will fall off. I get told by family how big I am. It's not a good feeling and I always feel worse in myself every time I hear it.

I too can be my worse own nightmare. When I look in the mirror I'm disgusted with myself and how badly I have treated my body. I am working though it with my own strength and determination. Also having the wonderful support of my partner, who loves me and doesn't criticise or make judgemental comments helps so much. My best friend is also very supportive and encourages me.

Also all the members of this forum give such wonderful support and just coming on here makes you all the more determined to continue. So whenever you feel like you don't have the support of your family and friends just hang out here and you'll find the strength you need.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:57 pm

thank you ally, you make me feel a whole lot better. as kimmy says, it took her a while to realise what her accomplishments have been so i think it will take me a few months to realise just what i have achieved :) xoxoxo
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Postby Ally » Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:07 pm

you will get there Kate!! We know how far you have come, you just need to realise it and that will take time!! :D
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Postby Mandie » Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:09 pm

Yep - totally agree!

I have an example from today - my friend got cranky at riding "so slow" so went off ahead of me during our big ride today (Freeway Bike Hike).

I felt really bad because I ended up finishing the race 10 minutes after her, and I felt like I had done a bad job.

But hey, strap another 65kg (she's really skinny) to her bike and then see how she went! I just have to remind myself that riding 30km is a great achievement and I'm so happy I finished the race...

...

and she better watch out next year!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:23 pm

you should be so proud mandie, let her go off on her own, you will be waving to her with a raised fingers as you overtake her next year hehe ;)
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Postby ZelmaWA » Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:51 pm

Mandie, we may have seen you as we were taking the train into the city. We saw LOTS of riders and a few were waving at the train. I am SO proud of you for riding that far.

Hubby and I were going into the city to do the 'bridges walk'. I figure that with the walk from the train station to the jetty, and then around the river, crossing both bridges, and back to the station, it would have been about 12km. It took us around 2 hours with one bathroom break and slowing a little at the end 'cos hubby was getting sore.

I hope you feel wonderful after your ride!

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Postby Dee » Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:07 pm

HUGE accomplishment Mandie. And you are entirely right - most people have no idea of how much more difficult everything is when you are overweight. Actually, most people have no idea what being overweight feels like at all.

My fave comments thus far...
From DH when I bemoaned how slowly I was losing weight "You just need to be more disciplined about what you eat." (Really?)

From Mum almost very time I see her "I'm just worried you're going to have a heart attack - and you're kids deserve to have their mother alive." (How do you respond to that???)

From a dear friend who's just a little misguided "But it's not that hard to stay skinny - all you have to do is eat natural, healthy foods and make sure you excersize daily - seriously you'd be amazed at how quickly you'd lose weight if you just did that!" (Spoken while scoffing pizza together one night - she's a size 8!)

You just have to realise that these people honestly just DON'T GET IT! And really, if they've never had tyo go through it, how could they? Ignore them - they'll eat their words when you're svelte and stunning!

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Postby Ally » Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:31 pm

Well done Mandie...what an achievement!!! I agree Dee, some people just don't get it and they think they are being really helpful with advice, when in fact it is the opposite.
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Postby Mandie » Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:49 pm

ooh the bridges walk is really nice zelma.. i did that last year when i was training for city to surf!

and i waved at every train, so you might have seen me indeed! :D

thanks for your kind words guys.. its so nice to have this forum to be able to chat to people who are going through the same thing - its amazing to me how no-one else ever seems to "get" it!
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Talia11 & Mandie

Postby doublebubble » Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:40 pm

Hey Talia11
At my lowest weight I was 45kg (im only short) I never went above 55kg for my whole adult life, that was up until 5 years ago. It went up down up down 10 kg or so, then I suddenly starting piling it on except this time none of it came off, I had my first weigh in on Saturday and I was 96kg and that's after I have already lost a few kgs. OMG how did this happen to me. Well I am officially double my weight and reflecting back, I think what worked for me before to get any weight off no longer works, so MAJOR DENIAL has been a player cause I seemed to be under the impression that I didn't have to work that hard to get it off. I admire all you here who stick with it and push yourselves every day to achieve your goals. You have all inspired me to work harder and not expect my weight to just melt away easily. Joining this forum has really helped me in my first few days so thanks everyone. So Talia I think your a really beautiful girl and like all the other people here you are beautiful on the inside too because you understand humility.

I am no longer the denial queen I am now the KARMA QUEEN (the skinny girl who got bit in the arse big time) LOL

Mandie
30km wholly mackerel that's awesome! I hope I can ride that far one day soon.
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