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Back to Uni and I'm slipping!!!!!

Anything and everything concerning weight loss.

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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:04 pm

I'm just not winning this at ALL!!! $#^@#@@*^% it!!!!!!!!!

This whole Uni thing is just not working for me. I'm bored and lonely and before I know it there's chocolate dredged up from god knows where and it's jumped in my mouth.

After a year of working with a really good group of friendly people and talking to people every day, now I'm stuck at frigging home because my *^%$#$%^ computer won't work at uni and even when I am there, all the people I know are a year ahead of me and in the clinical program so they're always busy and there is no-one in my office to talk to.

No flipping wonder I struggled with my weight through Uni I was MISERABLE. I just didn't flipping realise it. But I have to do the course otherwise I can't do what I want to do because I won't be qualified.

A can't even raise the enthusiasm to actually do any work. So I just sit here playing solitare or watching the TV and checking my email knowing full well that I should be working, but can't be bothered, and searching the fridge and cupboards for something that looks interesting enough for me to bother eating.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby yummymummy » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:11 pm

Oh no you poor thing!! hang in there babe, just focus on the end product of graduating!!!
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:17 pm

Kinda hard when it's 3-4 years away.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby SarahC » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:18 pm

I did the exact same thing when I was at uni. I would find myself standing in front of the fridge or the pantry at least two or three times every hour! I hated uni too... it was very isolating, and I often spent whole days there without speaking a single word to anyone else. Like you, I spent a year off doing other things and came back to find all my friends a year ahead :(

It happens any time I'm not happy with my life and feeling miserable really. I wonder why that is?? It's like we're trying to replace what's missing in our lives with food :?
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Postby Ally » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:21 pm

Break your time down into semester Tegan....that way it won't be seem so far away....bit like with weight loss...the overall goal is too much to consider, but breaking it down it doesn't seem as long.....

I don't know what advice to give you mate, except don't undo all your hard work...you have come so far and you know that you are fitter and stronger than you were 30kg ago....to lose all that now would be a waste of all the time and effort you have put in...Set you work out each day and treat it as if you are at uni......are you still going to put XP back on your computer so that you can go back and do it at uni???
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:27 pm

yeah probably, but I do the same even there. I just can't seem to enjoy doing this. I'm just feeling really crap and not looking forward to feeling crap for 3 years. I thought I loved uni. I thought I loved studying. Last year I improved so much mentally and physically and I thought that was all related to getting my weightloss under control. Now I'm back at Uni I'm back to feeling miserable and I've realised that was my problem all this time. And because I've lost all my weight while NOT at Uni, I haven't actually dealt with all the problems that are associated with Uni and so I'm back to square 1 and have already started gaining again.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Mandie » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:30 pm

Hmm.. that's a pretty difficult situation. Maybe you need to take a good hard look at what exactly is making you miserable - is it the course content, the fact that your friends are ahead, feeling overwhelmed by the work load?

If its the content - maybe you need to consider switching course. If not - maybe you can talk to a counsellor at your uni about managing your study? and can you go to some social events or somethjing to make some new friends in your year? or arrange to hang out with your other friends outside of hours?

I hope you get this sorted soon, it's no good feeling miserable. And, you've done SO well with your weightloss, we don't want to see you put it back on!!
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Postby Ally » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:31 pm

yes that often is the case is that we blame our weight for situations and then the sudden realisation that it is not the true cause....I know this probably sounds silly, but with you being so unhappy with uni, do you have to continue?? Is doing this course worth the misery you are feeling.....3 years is a long time to be feeling this way Tegan....can the issues be solved? can you plot yourself a different path to blaze?? Please don't think I am being unkind. I just wonder if the course you are doing is worth all the stress mate....
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:48 pm

i really hope it gets sorted out soon for you tegan i can imagine everything you are going through and dont envy you for feeling that way at all. chin up and like the girls said, try and work out exactly what is making you feel this way
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:51 pm

Thanks Mandie, and everyone. You are, of course, right. It's not the work - I could do that in my sleep, backwards, standing on my head with a monkey playing the tambourine.

It's just the fact that I feel so lonely and not really wanted. Those who have been here for a while will know that I was not accepted into the clinical doctorate course (for the second time) and had to accept a place for a pure PHD to look at changing into the clinical course at a later date (despite having first class honours, work experience, and a scholarship). All my other friends from honours year are in the clinical course which means they are all majorly busy with coursework and placements (because it's basically double the workload of a pure PHD). My supervisor also works out of Launceston, so there's not much contact with him. I just kinda feel like I'm not really wanted there, everyone's ahead of me and they don't have time for me. And the psych department is not known for social clubs and events, in fact there are none. The last attempt at this was mine, in honours year - a quiz night, which wasn't all that great.

I miss my friends at work who I only get to see once a week and only if I am there on Monday to Wednesday. I don't even have their phone numbers (apart from work) because I suck at that whole making friends thing. My only other friends are really the blokes friends and my 'best mate' from college is currently in London and besides which has been drifting for some time now anyway to the point I actually haven't spoken to him in months.

I know this all sounds negative and like I'm putting obstacles in my way - which to be honest I probably am. Really, I honestly thank you for all your suggestions and you are all 100% right, I just need to get out there and get on with it. I'm just feeling miserable right now and needed to vent. Maybe now I've had a god cry and a vent, I'll be able to get on with making some progress. We shall see.

It's really weird but I feel like talking to my neighbour's annoying 13yo!!!!!! I must be losing my mind...
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Location: Hobart, Tas

Postby Mandie » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:54 pm

It certainly sounds like you have a lot of issues going on at the moment...

You're right, I think maybe a good cry and a vent and then doing something for yourself (bubble bath? bike ride? something else?) will do wonders for you... sometimes we have to vent all these feelings before we can start making sense of things and make plans to make it better.

Best of luck, we're here for you mate :)
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:55 pm

LOL talk to the 13 year old if it makes you feel better tegan! honestly sometimes i feel that way too. all my friends are doing other things and i often get excluded from special occasions they have because im a mum and they forget about me. all my siblings cept for my brother live interstate so i dont have contact with them very often. however i have met another member from this forum who i see weekly and she has a little girl too so we catch up and get along really well. sometimes its hard when you are stuck in a rut but sit down and do some positive thinking about how to make things different and things will start to happen for you.
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Postby KimE » Mon Apr 02, 2007 6:43 pm

Well I am no help here, never having been in that predicament but it sounds totally crappy. Everyone has given plenty of great advice and sitting down and really sorting out all of the issues would probably go a long way.

As I said I'm not much help but I do offer moral support and big *HUGS*. Take care and hope things get better for you.
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Postby milkyway » Mon Apr 02, 2007 8:40 pm

Hey Tegan. I work from home quite a lot (and I also study part-time) and often for long periods of time. Sometimes, like now, I get to break my work week up with 2 days spent in an office with a great bunch of co-workers, and I really enjoy the company. But when I am isolated from the world, I get quite lonely and start to go mad. I also get tempted to eat crap, sleep in, watch telly instead of doing what I should be doing and then I end up having to pull several all nighters to get a job finished on time. Then I slap myself for doing that and swear I will never do it again when I fall in an exhausted heap. But it's really hard to get it together when you're feeling down and break the cycle.

So, what I have done when I feel like crap and get a month long case of the 'I can't be bothereds', I break things down into small, achieveable tasks and make up lots of lists that I can check off when each task is done which gives me some sense of achievement, which makes me feel just a little bit better. I might have mind numbingly dull things on my list such as 'depost cheque' and 'buy staples' or 'read first 10 pages of chapter 4.'

In regards to developing friendships at work, why not suggest to the people you like, casually, "hey, we should get together for a drink/dinner/game of cricket this weekend/friday night". Keep it light and see what sort of response you get. Don't make a formal invitation. Or even offer your place to host a bbq "I was thinking about firing up our new bbq next weekend, do you guys wanna come?"

Is it possible to extend yourself beyond your current course/faculty and get involved in wider, general uni activities? Do they have a cycling club or anything like that you'd be interested in joining?

If you're not happy with your course, then don't do it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying "nope, this isn't for me." In fact, it takes quite a lot of courage to be able to do that. Is what you want to do worth another three years of misery? And what happens if you find out you don't really like the job or it's not what you thought it would be like?

I went through this about 3 years ago when I returned to Australia after living overseas for a few years. I was enrolled to do my masters of TESOL and moved back here to do it, but after just 2 weeks, I knew it wasn't for me and after 3 weeks, I pulled the pin, but damn it was sooo hard to do because I'd given up so much for it! I hate quitting something I've started. Hate it! Anyway, I'm much happier now and feel like the universe has a hand in helping me get to where I'm supposed to be... which is definitely not teaching :)

Good luck, Tegan.
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Tue Apr 03, 2007 1:32 pm

Thanks everyone.
I was watching ABC2 yesterday and they had a show on happiness
(typical hey) and just watching that and venting and having you guys respond to my whinging helped oh so much.

This morning I got up, went for my ride (and somehow un-configured my speedo, which reminds me I need to get the instruction manual) have done a couple of loads of washing, wasn't hungry for breakfast (have been eating too much and still using that lot up I guess) so had a handfull of nuts at 9:30 then a couple pieces bread at 10:30 and have actually got my document open to work on - not that I've done anything yet, but the TV is off and baby steps are happening.

I'm looking forward to getting a puppy in the next couple of months so I can play with him when I'm lonely - pets are so good that way and we've been planning to get a dog for a while, I'm just looking forward to it more now.

And tomorrow I'm heading to work for a fundraising tupperware party so I'll get to see my friends.
Feeling a lot better today. Thanks everyone for your kind words, advice and support.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

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