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Postby carla » Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:53 am

Sometimes I just think, what's the point? Who cares if I lose weight or not?
And get very negative about things, especially when I hear the news which is nearly always bad.

It's a 'rut' feeling. I hate it.

I think I have become somewhat jaded about life and people.

Yet every so often, I dont feel like this. So it isnt a fixed state of being.

I would like to not feel like this...more often.
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Postby Dolly » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:47 pm

It's all true, the world is full of negative things that happen to us on a constant basis.
For a while there I kept thinking, gee when it rains, it pours.
I then noticed one of my friends named Peter who was always calm, smiling and grateful.
I noticed that his wife left him for an internet boyfriend so he was now living in poverty.
He lost all 6 kids to her when she left but still had to pay her heaps of maintenance money.
Once his kids became troublesome, expensive, unemployed teens she dumped 2 of them back on him.
He injured his back when he tumbled down a big flight of stairs whilst doing his security job in a rain storm.
Peter developed a deep vein thrombosis in his right leg for 6 months and even when he thought he might die of it like his father did and his next door neighbour did (neighbour was also his best friend) he still had a sense of peace and appreciation for the world and the people he chose to surround himself with.

I asked Pete' why he's always so happy and never grumbles about anyone or anything, he said, "There's no point getting upset with things, they're going to happen regardless."

And similarly Doctor Phil says, "It's not about what happens to you, it's about how you handle it, how are you going to allow it to affect you."

And Dolly's quote is "Look deep for the good in every bad situation, no matter how small it seems."
Last edited by Dolly on Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Tas » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:48 pm

Hi Carla

Firstly, we care if you lose weight because that is what you really want to do or you wouldn't be here, right? So there are people that care about you.

Secondly, there are a lot of awful, tragic things happening in the world and that is enough to make any one of us feel the same as you - but the old saying is true, there are a lot of people worse off so in that respect we are the lucky ones - it could be worse.

We all get in that rut feeling - but like yours at present it does pass, just at times it takes longer. The jaded feeling affects us all in different ways, like this time of year I think of my parents who have passed away now - but it is the time of year for families and friends - so here's to you my friend!


Hope you are feeling better now :)
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Postby linda » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:53 pm

Hi Carla,

"who will care" - you will

your self esteem will
and you certainly will when you go to buy new clothes that fit and look nice

You will have more energy

and of course your family will care that you are not at risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, the list of illnesses associated with obesity is endless.

We all have our slipups and moments of self doubt, but I have lost the weight before (5 years ago) and when I did the feeling of going shopping for clothes without feeling embarassed is a feeling that will leave you feeling on top of the world.

I slipped up last night, I weakened and had apple pie with lite icecream. But today is another day, and although I am disappointed with myself I have been to the gym this morning and am going to be extra good today.

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:02 pm

"you can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

translation: bad s**t happens, find a way to make it less bad

I had an icecream too last night, but I don't see it as a slip up, I saw it as a treat when I was out to dinner with friends. I only had a half/scoop though and I don't have icecream very often as I'm not really an ice-cream person.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Maraver » Sat Nov 19, 2005 6:10 pm

It's not about what happens to you, it's about how you handle it, how are you going to allow it to affect you."

This is my biggest problem I let all my chidrens problems they are adults by the way become my problems

We care if you lose weight we care if you are sad if you are unhappy
we want to help we are your friends we care
you may not know us personally but we are here for you
as I know you are here for me
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Postby carla » Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:47 am

thanks all

I wasn't sure whether to post what I did but did so in the hope that it would open up the light a little. It is true, when you get into the blues, you dont tend to think logically about things and self-pity can take you on a downward spiral. It is true that there is no point allowing yourself to go down as if personal suffering is going to relieve one drop of suffering elsewhere in the world. And I guess that if everyone just gave up, there would be no strong people there to give something out to people not feeling so strong.

I really feel for your friend, Dolly. He sounds like a very, very good human being. I sincerely hope he meets someone as good-hearted and solid as himself.

And I DO really want to lose weight! I am now fairly sure that all these extra kilos are actually contributing towards depression not just emotionally but on an actual chemical level.

So I'm not going to give up.

Thankyou all.
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Postby Fairie » Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:39 am

Hi Carla,

I can't think of anything to add to what everyone else has said except to say........glad you are not giving up. :D

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Postby hushpuppy » Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:17 pm

Carla i felt the same way for a couple of days Then i guess i pulled myself out of the dulldrums and said to myself the only way i can make changes is to go one day at a time one step at i time as all the others had told me . When u think about the outcome outweighs all the down times and how much easier life will be .At times it does seem one step on and three back but with the support we are all going the give u hopefully it will become less of a battle
Chin Up dude
Cheers and huggles
SW 107kg
CW 99.8kg
GW 65kg
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