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Crazy Girl....!

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Crazy Girl....!

Postby EllyBelly » Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:11 pm

Hi everyone. My name is Ely and I am a new member. Just wanted to share a bit of info about me and get some much needed advice.
OK - I have been overweight my whole life and have tried just about everything to lose it - but obviously not hard enough. I always have some excuse. Everything came to a head when I was finding it hard to get pregnant so I joined Weight Watchers in Nov 2005 and lost almost 15kgs by March 2006 - and that's when I found out I was pregnant. Another excuse not to worry about losing weight!! After I had my bub in October 2006 I was only 2kgs heavier than I was when I left Weight Watchers, so I was quite proud of that.
Finally decided to go back to WW a couple of months ago but only went 3 times and now I have piked out yet again...!! You see my problem is this - and I want to say straight up I do not mean to offend anyone by saying this - it is just how my STUPID mind thinks. Everyone else at my WW group only had 5-20kg to lose. I have got over 50kg to be at goal weight. I would go every week and think to myself - why the hell are they here, I would love to be their weight. The sane me knows that they are not at their goal weight either. But the CRAZY me just couldn't stand going to the group when "I was the only one who needed to lose weight".! (I hope you understand what I mean here - as I said I am not trying to offend - I am just saying how my mind thinks).. How do I stop myself thinking like this?????
Since leaving the group about 5 weeks ago I can't stop eating and I am always feeling guilty and I am too embarrassed to go back. Oh and I have also put on 3kgs...!!
I have become obsessed with weight - I look at other people all the time and think - "I'm bigger than her" - "I'm smaller than her"..., etc, etc... It has become a constant part of my life and it is driving me crazy.
What annoys me even more is that before I got pregnant and left WW the first time, I was so motivated and reckon I could have achieved so much more - now I just feel like I can't be bothered.

Anyway - I'm sorry to lump this on everyone - I just needed to get it off my chest and am looking forward to what everyone thinks and if anyone had any tips for me....

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Postby Playboy_bunny » Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:13 am

Hey :)
I do have to say that as far as WW, I have totally been in your position (being the biggest in the group) I found ww to be very 'clicky' with lots of trendy 5kg above goal women who would sit together, then there were the older women in another group, and the women who just laughed and gossiped and joked all the way through the meeting....then there was me, the fattest with 40 kg to lose sitting on my own, and making forced conversation with the other 'loners'... Personally, I found the whole group thing very intimidating and clicky, it just wasnt for me... as far as losing motivation, its soo hard to stay on track. BUT, you should be proud that you only gained 2kgs during pregnancy (ugh I gained 35!! :shock: ) that is a HUGE achievement in itself :) I dont know what to suggest, as I am only just starting out again after MANY yo yoing attempts at losing weight... maybe just start by taking baby steps? make little changes, they all add up :) And keep posting here, the guys and girls here give me my daily dose of inspiration :D xxx
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Postby milkyway » Sat Jun 09, 2007 11:41 am

Hi Ely and welcome to the forum - I'm sure you'll find plenty of support and advice and encouragement here.

Here, it doesn't matter if you've got 5kg or 50kg to lose. Everyone's on their own individual weightloss journey and has their own goals and reasons behind their weight gain and weight loss - and we're all here equally to support each other through this process.

If you've lost weight before, you can do it again. Motivation isn't some magical ingredient that comes whooshing into our lives. I wish it were, though! No one has will power 100% of the time, that's why I am back focussing on getting more exercise into my life, eating smaller portions and only occasional treats - it's a sensible plan that I can live with for the rest of my life. It isn't about dramatic overnight changes, it's about making small changes along the way, which all add up to a lot.

I know there's a part of you reading this going "But she's only got 13kg to lose! What is she worried about?" This is the point where you need to stop comparing yourself to others and compare YOU to YOU. Set yourself a new benchmark that isn't based on the weight, size or shape of anyone but yourself. Operating in that space where you're constantly comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster. Don't be a victim of your situation - own it! You can do this Ely and we're all here for you :D

I really look forward to getting to know you better and to hear about your progress.
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby BubbleButt » Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:09 pm

Hi Ely,

Welcome to the group. Can I just say congratulations on only gaining 2kgs during your pregnancy, that is amazing!!!

I know exactly how you are feeling and we must share the same mind as I think like that also. I used to go to Weight Watchers meetings with my best friend and we both felt the same way as we were only 17 and 18 at the time. There was the different groups there also like a "posh" group, the "do I really have to lose anymore weight" group, the lifetime achievement group and then us. I think the next youngest would of been about 15 years older than we were and I found it soooooooooo intimidating. We both felt the same and got to a point where we'd eat really well and exercise during the week, then go for the weigh in and spend our meeting time at McDonalds instead. Kinda defeated the purpose really so we stopped going altogether.

I found I was comparing myself to other woman all the time and although I've seemed to talk myself out of that most times, I still have my days where it all seems too hard and I think to myself "it's just a dream, I'll never be a nice weight". The thing that gets me the most is I have a younger sister who can eat anything that she wants and never gains the weight but never ever judges people by their weight, she thinks all women are beautiful in their own way. She's three years younger than me and used to stand up for me when I was being teased.. go figure!! Then I have an older half sister who is obsessed with her weight and biatches when she hits 48kgs and goes on a strict diet. I spent mothers day at her house holding myself back from pounding her into the concrete with the way she was going on about her weight and how she has to lose it because it's disgusting being overweight and making comments like "I don't know how anyone can let themselves get to a state of being overweight, it's disgraceful and extremely ugly".. :evil:

Anyways, I've kinda gone off track here, sorry about that! As the other guys and girls will tell you on here.. "slow and steady wins the race!". Don't make huge changes because you won't stick to them (well at least in my experience I've never been able to!). Small changes last for life because not only does your body get used to it, so does your mind. Healthy eating, exercise and lots and lots of water really are the "magic" combination I feel and aiming to lose between .5 - 1kg a week is a healthy way to go. To help with me not comparing myself to anyone else, I placed a photo of myself on my fridge at my biggest weight, and I took a photo the other night of me now (which is on the forum). I have printed that photo and placed it on my fridge next to the other one and I can see the huge difference the almost 30kgs lost has made. It's my motivation now and with the help of these wonderful people I know I can lose the other 50 odd kilos to get me to my ultimate goal where I will be fit and healthy. I hope you can find that same inspiration and I'm sure in here, everyone will be able to help you with locating it! :)

Good luck with your weightloss and I look forward to following your progress.

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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sun Jun 10, 2007 9:52 am

Hi Ely,
I totally see where you're coming from and can relate to the "what are they worried about? it's only 5-10kg" but now I'M at that point after losing 35kg and I know what it's like on the other side of the fence. Basically, it's all about comparing yourself to others which is very negative. Just try and focus on you and don't worry about the other people around you. I know it's hard to do at first (I used to be sure everyone was looking at the fat girl and thinking, oh, she looks so stupid exercising, she obviously needs it, look at her puffing away. But the more I got out and did it, the easier it became)

Good luck with it.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:55 pm

hey ely welcome to the group. the girls have offered some great tips and advice and experiences already. just want to say welcome though. i wont write a novel because i am just back from a natural disaster and without power since friday so im trying to catch up on everything. looking forward to seeing you more around the forum :)
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Postby EllyBelly » Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:04 pm

Thanks everyone for your inspiring words and tips. Since my "down" day when I first posted I have been out walking every day and trying to watch what I'm putting in my mouth. I know it's not much but I am already starting to feel a bit better - like I am actually achieving something.. Hope to see chat with you all again soon. I know I will be back......!!!
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