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Help, need advice!

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Help, need advice!

Postby chubbywife79 » Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:16 pm

Well I got a bit of an issue. My husband loves junk food. When we go do grocery shopping together he gets junk food for himself and then he get annoyed if I don't want junk food. He knows I love my chips. He get moody when I say no and then I feel bad and then I get them. He says the reason he wants me get junk food is because he doesn't like eating it by himself. What can I do and how can I get him to understand I need to lose weight? He knows I need to cause the doctor told him I need to. I love him and don't want this to be an issue in our marriage.
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Postby Chelle » Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:34 pm

Go shopping by yourself..

Or if he goes with you eat before hand so that your not adding junk food into your trolley. He need to be 100% supportive towards you wanting to loose weight especially if it for medical reason's. It's a change in your life that your hubby need to get use to, he is probly scared of change dosen't like the whole eating healthy. There is no need to fight over it. He probly does feel bad when you say no to eating junk in front of you but I think congratratulation on making the right choice. With understanding I think sit him down shown that you go on this forum, show him what your plans are to lossing weight & what it means to you. It's a male thing some of them just don't get it. Obsiouly you partner is one of them, but he will get use it it over time.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:38 pm

i buy my fiance mick, the bag with 20 packs of small chips in it. that way he can have a packet of chips and its enough for him and i dont have any. maybe you can get the rice crackers and share them- like chips but healthier.
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Postby Ses » Thu Jul 12, 2007 4:22 pm

flavored corn thins work for us! The salt and vinegar ones are just like eating chips without the waist issues........
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Postby Ally » Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:02 pm

Hiya there....it certainly seems like it is your hubbie with the issues! You may need to take a firm stance and tell him that you are just not going to eat those foods and if wants to then it is up to him, but not to drag you into his bad food choices!! This may sound harsh and unsupportive, but if you are trying to lose weight, then he needs to understand this....would he like it if you bought a nice healthy sandwich and said the same to him?? I know it would be hard to do this, but it seems unfair to me that just because he does "not want to eat alone" that you should be dragged into his emotional battle with food......
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Postby Bandit » Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:29 pm

Some men are afraid that if you lose weight, you may change or even go off & find someone else. Maybe he needs some extra reassurance that you need to do this for your health & happiness. Point out all the things that you will be able to do together, & also that it isn't such a bad thing (cutting out junkfood at home) for his health either. Let him know you NEED his support.

There was a bit of resistance when junkfood was barred from our house, but they got over pretty quick, & we are all eating better now. If we go out as a family, we can indulge in the odd treat then. When I grocery shop, we get substitutes such as rice crackers, & healtheries rice wheels (these are yum-specially the cheese flavour, & can be found in the healthfood section)

Good luck with it, it can be difficult when there isn't support at home.
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:37 pm

Yeah I totally agree with the others...either compromise (and the others have given some great suggestions :D) or tell him that YOU DO NOT WANT TO EAT THAT FOOD, and he will just have to deal with it....I know it sounds harsh, but that seems like he has an insecurity about eating that food if he needs you to eat it with him??? Do what will work for you, and if your husband wants to eat that junk, let him, but you do not have to (or want to by the sounds of it!) Lay down the law in the beginning, that you will not be eating it, regardless of how he feels eating alone.... hope that wasnt too harsh! LOL :lol:
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Postby KimE » Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:27 pm

I agree with the ladies. Find healthier alternatives he will enjoy and let him know you won't be participating in the junk food. It's this simple...junk food does not help with weightloss. Even the "just this once" or "a little bit won't hurt". My hubby said this to me a few times and I agree just once or a little bit probably won't hurt but I find a little bit there and a little bit here equals a lot extra that I did't need, plus it was about me building up new and better habits that didn't include indulging in junk every day of the week.

All the best and I know it is easier said than done.
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Postby dietcoke » Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:35 pm

To me it sounds like he's just trying to justify his food choices. If you eat it too then it's like saying "it's ok to eat that junk". I have friends that do the same. It's not to be cruel but they find it offensive if I refuse bad food when they have just suggested it. As if I'm looking at their food choices and judging them because I have chosen a different, more healthy option or just said no to eating because I'm not hungry. But you'll soon find that he will give up trying to sway you because he knows you wont budge and soon he might begin to choose the healthier option too. Lead by example...positive peer pressure might be a better way to put it.
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:26 am

If it were me (which thankfully it's not, rather it's the other way round "Tegan do you really need to eat that? get away from those chocolates") I would be tempted to say "I don't want it, I won't eat it. Build a bridge and get over it. I don't want to stay fat and you're not going to blackmail me into sabotaging myself"

This approach is likely to end in an argument where everything will come to a head. I'm not real good at subtlety after a while of the same problem happening - I tend to get frustrated and overly direct. This approach may very well not work for you. It frequently backfires on me.
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Postby yummymummy » Fri Jul 13, 2007 12:15 pm

When I first started to lose weight I took the if Im doing it we are all doing it!! There was a complete ban of junk in the house, if hubby wanted to eat it he could do it at work or when Im not around, he was aware how impotant it was to me and supported my wishes-well I actually didnt give him a choice :shock: I didnt ask him not to bring crap into the house I told him!
I know I sound like a cow but it worked!
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Postby lng86 » Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:46 pm

Or just have a handful of chips rather than the bag!!!

It gets easier - trust me... Stay strong. Cos girl - I have never felt so good already!!!
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Postby milo » Sun Jul 15, 2007 2:29 pm

lng86 wrote:Or just have a handful of chips rather than the bag!!!

It gets easier - trust me... Stay strong. Cos girl - I have never felt so good already!!!


Gee you got to be strong for that. I could never just eat a handful of chips. I would have to go totally without. I am defintly not that strong.

Good luck with it, let us know how you go
Mel :)

WEEK 1 - 86.5 kg
WEEK 2 - 84.9kg
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