I finally got into the clinic yesterday, they had a last minute cancellation. I wont go into all the details, (that would take forever
) but he basically made me go through stuff from my childhood and my past, and realise how much I still carry that baggage around....and that I binge eat so that I dont need to deal with my emotions (boredom, lonliness etc) and that I hide behind my weight (eg, I wont do this until Ive lost weight, I cant go there until I lose weight) I use my fat as a shield, because I dislike male attention (totally true, I have a prob with compliments for some reason) anyway, he has given me lots of exercises to do...plans for my day so that I can start 'feeling' my feelings and not 'eating' them...as far as food, he wants me to do optifast, as then I have absolutely no control over the food that goes into my mouth, therefor the obsession with food is gone, and I can start dealing with things, not binge eating... he has warned me that quite possibly i will be moody/emotional/angry/ upset, but thats just normal as I can no longer use food instead of feeling these things...anyway! Today is day 2 on optifast, and i feel really good about it! Not hungry at all....looking forward to the future, and finally living my life! No more hiding!
(and hopefully some great weight loss too ! ) When I get close to my goal he wants to do a maintenance plan with me, so that I can keep the weight off....for the first time in years, i feel positive about this! Like I can finally get my eating under control