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a bad week...

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a bad week...

Postby Carly » Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:59 pm

This week... Sucks! I have been trying to lose weight since January and I have acheived success... 37kg down. Unfortunately, 37kg down is not nearly enough!!

I have been such a good girl this whole time. I have had the odd bad day here and there don't get me wrong, but I have never "fallen off the wagon" entirely, I have not even come close... until now.

The past couple of months have been hard. Dropping only 2kg now (1 of these kg last week) has been tough because I have still been working so hard. But even during that time I never wavered. Never before have I stuck to a diet for this long and acheived so much success, but I feel like the end will never come. I have not gone back to eating junk. I am still eating healthier choices but I am eating more of them this week. I have not gained, but not lost either. I have barely moved a muscle this week. I knew that this would be forever, that the changes I have made to my lifestyle and my eating habits would have to remain with me always because I have the potential to be morbidly obese which is where I have come from. But this week I can not see the end to the struggle. I can not see the days coming where all I have to worry about is maintaining. The light has dimmed this week and while I know why I should keep fighting, and there is voice within me trying to persuade me, nothing can break my negativity this week...

I am sure I do not have to tell any of you this, but it is hard! Even the good weeks can be exhausting. I have failed every other time I have tried to lose weight. I have never ever consciously lost a significant amount of weight until now. I have always fallen off a diet because I am too impatient. You do all this work and the results are so slow. So, So, So Slow! I tried to head into this reminding myself that these things don't happen overnight. That a little loss 1 week is better than no loss or a gain. I tried to remind myself that if I keep at it this time next year I will be able to stand in front of the mirror and cry tears of joy rather than tears of sadness and disgust. But I feel like I used to feel this week. That the rewards are too small week to week for all this hard work.

*sigh* But then, the logical, calm voice within me whispers the reminders of all the hard work I have done, and how awful it would be to waste that work now. I m healthier now. There is no question. I look much better now. I feel more confident and although there is still work that needs to be done in this area, I am feeling less self conscious in the world, and definately less threatened. I have more choices in clothes stores.. I can even buy cute little dresses and not look too hideous in them. This time last year, argh! I had no choice, I could only wear what would fit... I even had trouble finding tracksuit pants that fit me confortably. I never want to be there again... Never! But I am struggling this week. Mentally, Emotionally and Physically. This week.... Sucks!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:28 pm

oh theres nothing worse than having an off week. it really is a battle of the wills, you have one voice telling you that you might as well not even bother anymore, and then you have another saying Cmon you can achieve anything if you stick to the programme!

sometimes its good just to vent about it all, a lot of us here can relate to having days, weeks and months maybe even years of feeling this way. by getting it off your chest it helps lift that weight of the stress of it all and you can start afresh! chin up
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Postby dietcoke » Thu Aug 30, 2007 8:58 pm

:shock: You've lost 37kg? That's like piggy-backing a 10 yr old then having them jump off. That's AMAZING! I'm always in awe of people who have that much drive. I struggle to lose just a few kilos.

I think you've done an amazing job so far and damn straight you should be proud of your efforts not scolding yourself for a few little slip-ups. It SUCKS when you feel down about yourself but from where I'm standing you're an inspiration to everyone who never thought they could get there or always made excuses. And the best thing about you is that you've done it the healthy way.

I'm sorry you feel down and I hope venting about it has given you some relief but just think how incredible you'll feel when you reach your final goal. I tend to focus on people who gave me s**t or sent negativity my way when I feel like giving up - as unhealthy as that may be - I always imagine their face when they see me for the first time...confident and glowing...whenever that happens (let's hope soon).
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Aug 31, 2007 9:28 am

oh, I soo know that feeling!!! I've lost 35kg and have struggled to get further than that for the past year!!! I've even backslid 4kg which I'm furiously trying to shift. And there's all that backsliding in the habit department too :roll: :oops:

BUT - I will press on and feel that i am finally getting around to the second wind! i'm sure you will get there too if you persevere
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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