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I don't feel sexy anymore.

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I don't feel sexy anymore.

Postby metijo » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:37 am

Not only don't I feel sexy, but I don't feel like censored. I most certainly don't want the light on and I just feel really ugly. My husband tells me that I'm gorgeous whatever size I am, but I most certainly don't feel it.

When I'm at the point of not wanting to leave the house because I feel as though nothing looks nice on, how can I feel sexy?

Am I alone in feeling this way?
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Postby Ophir » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:43 am

Your certainly not alone. I went through the exact same thing earlier in the year. I was just so disgusted with myself. I just set myself small goals and aimed for them. Soon enough i was happy with myself again.
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:44 am

certainly not alone. However just be sure you are not getting your body image mixed up with your self image. that is, you know your body could be better - and that's what you're working on. But that shouldn't impact on your thought about YOU. I.e. just because you're fat, that doesn't make you a bad person, or even necessarily an unattractive person (since attraction isn't 100% about physical appearance) or mean that you have nothing to give the world. In fact dont you think that the experience of putting so much effort into achieving this goal in addition to the other fantastic qualities about you (I don't know you very well, but I would guess there are definitely some!!) make you a person that would be better to be around than a censored skinny person?

It is hard to go out when you are feeling so down, but believe it or not, getting out and exercising can even help to make you feel better! then you can hold your head high knowing that today you have done something to make a difference in your life!
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15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:16 pm

i know where you are coming from. mine is more related to childbirth injuries though LOL so mines physical and emotional and mental issues with censored :P
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Postby Rustie » Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:07 pm

I think after we have kids all of us dont feel as sexy as we used to. Our priorites change and we loose ourselves in the process of bringing up the kids.
Good luck and chin up. It will get better
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Postby soon2bayummymummy » Thu Sep 13, 2007 9:31 pm

o i know what u mean from stretch marks, dimples all over, being very overweight i dont feel sexy but it makes me feel better when i colour my hair, get new fake nails, buy new lingerie to suit my size, wear make-up. Try little things to make urself feel better.
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Postby Fireball » Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:12 pm

I see we have similar weight loss goal so I can relate to what you are saying. Can I suggest you try to ignore you feelings initially and plan a sexy evening. Your husband tells you he thinks you are sexy and I bet he really does mean it! If you come from the angle of doing some things just for yourself, as was suggested like getting your hair done, nails or whatever you like. Then I bet you will feel better about yourself, think hmm what can I do that will make me feel absolutely sexy - what can I wear, lighting (which I found crucial!! :lol: ), music etc. I bet by the time the night arrives you are really looking forward to it. Have fun.
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Re: I don't feel sexy anymore.

Postby help6363 » Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:39 am

metijo wrote:Not only don't I feel sexy, but I don't feel like censored. I most certainly don't want the light on and I just feel really ugly. My husband tells me that I'm gorgeous whatever size I am, but I most certainly don't feel it.

When I'm at the point of not wanting to leave the house because I feel as though nothing looks nice on, how can I feel sexy?

Am I alone in feeling this way?


Firstly...... a BIG HUG!

Yes, I feel this way too.

Please try not to define yourself by your weight. The weight will go but in the meantime try to focus on the positive things about yourself. Anyway, you have a husband that loves you no matter what size you are and thinks you are gorgeous (I bet you are!)

Sweetie, I am so sorry I don't really know what to say except you are so much more than your weight and I know you will lose this weight. Whenever I don't feel like leaving the house because of my weight I Just say to myself.......'I am me! I am changing me so I will like me more! I will change! It could be worse!'

Sorry I am not much help!

Chin up........ please try to look at all your other positive qualities.

HUGS!!!
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Postby help6363 » Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:42 am

Oh...... sorry I did not edit the above post (how do I do that please?)

Here's another thing I do....... I just go out and think....yep this is the before me....you all just wait until I have lost the weight to see the after me.

Honey...... you are so much more than your weight! :D
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Sep 15, 2007 8:45 am

only mods can edit posts in this section :)
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Postby metijo » Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:32 pm

Hey thanks everyone! :) To anyone who doesn't think that their comments are helpful - well, they really are and I appreciate them very much.

I probably do have my body image and my self image mixed up, as suggested by Dawn, and I don't really know what to do about it. I feel as though my brain hasn't caught up with my extra weight as well, as I try on clothes that look huge and they don't fit! :?

I've spent the last few years studying and have just completed and honours degree as an oldie, so sitting in front of a computer a lot hasn't helped my bum - I'm sure it's spread to fit the chair! :lol: :oops:

Another thing that doesn't help with this feeling of not being sexy, is that I feel as though I'm smelly because I'm overweight. I'm starting to become thingy about it. (Men, ignore this bit please) :shock: ) Maybe some of you know what I mean ...

I suppose I'm lucky that my hubby does think that I'm still sexy, but I'm sure I didn't look very sexy when he had to help me out of the bath a few weeks ago! Groan! :oops: Very bad visual picture. :shock:
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:46 pm

i think you will find that once the kilos come away you will feel like a new person and your confidence will shine through :) dont worry about the bath visual lol. i remember being heavily pregnant and having to yell out to mick to help me out the bath heaps of times and then in labour holding on to the hand rail in the shower at the hospital with mick hosing my bum with the shower head lol. not a pretty sight!
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Postby dr_ange » Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:54 pm

Heey I know how you feel and I'm only 19!! When I first met my husband I weighed 112kgs! I weighed 98kgs on our wedding day and now I weigh 103kgs. I guess the extra 5 since the wedding (5 months ago) is not that bad, but I had my "last supper" today/tonight consisting of all my fave foods like pizza, tasty toobs, ice cream, english muffins and peppermint choccie. Now I'm gunna get serious about my weight for once! Some nights I just feel unsexy and my husband tells me I am no matter how big/small I am, which I really appreciate, I mean, most of us are lucky to have such loving husbands, but I just feel horrible about it sometimes. Like I'll walk down the street and I constantly think people are looking at me because I'm big, and it's a horrible feeling! Sorry it's been a long rant!!
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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Sun Sep 16, 2007 8:18 pm

I have absolutely no censored drive and I'm 21, at my goal weight, and I haven't had any kids!!!! What's my excuse?!?!
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