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I feel like I tricked my husband

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I feel like I tricked my husband

Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:28 pm

I know this is going to sound silly but I actually really think this and it upset me alot.

I was on my way to work the other day and I got to thinking about my weight etc.

When my husband first met me and saw me in the flesh for the first time (we met online) I was about 65kg and looked fantastic.

Then he came over here to live and I slowly gained about 25kg.

I am losing it slowly but it suddenly dawned on me that I kind of tricked him.

Here he was falling in love with this slim, hot looking girl, only to come and live with her and she gets fat.

My wedding photos are horrible. I hate them. I can't even look at them.

Here is one:
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I can't believe I'm even posting it!!

I look HUGE compared to him.

I know he loves me and doesn't care about my weight, but honestly I bet he would prefer me thinner.

So I am determined to do this not only for me but for him.
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Postby Misstoodles » Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:37 pm

Hmm I know there isnt anything I can say that will make you feel otherwise, for some personal reasons that I don't even really like to think about, I can kind of empathise with you.

But perhaps turn this into a positive? Now you're not only losing weight to look better, but to feel peace within your mind knowing you're not tricking your husband. Keep your weight-loss about you, it's not selfish because it's a very personal and individual thing.

:)
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Postby hushpuppy » Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:38 pm

U look beautiful mate and im sure hubby loves u just the way u are . Remeber u are always beautiful inside and out . we are changing for us and being healthy for the family . Chin up matey
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:14 pm

really i dont think your hubby sounds shallow enough to not like you for who you are whether you are big or small. he just wants to grow old with you and your son. the issue lies with your confidence nikki and im sure that you are going to feel sooo great about yourself when you get to your goal weight that you wont think twice about whether your hubby wanted a thin or large woman as a wife :)
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Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:18 pm

oh I know my husband doesn't care, but if I were him, deep down I would miss the thinner more confident woman he first fell in love with.
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Re: I feel like I tricked my husband

Postby help6363 » Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:23 pm

electrongirl wrote:I know this is going to sound silly but I actually really think this and it upset me alot.

I was on my way to work the other day and I got to thinking about my weight etc.

When my husband first met me and saw me in the flesh for the first time (we met online) I was about 65kg and looked fantastic.

Then he came over here to live and I slowly gained about 25kg.

I am losing it slowly but it suddenly dawned on me that I kind of tricked him.

Here he was falling in love with this slim, hot looking girl, only to come and live with her and she gets fat.

My wedding photos are horrible. I hate them. I can't even look at them.

Here is one:
Image

I can't believe I'm even posting it!!

I look HUGE compared to him.

I know he loves me and doesn't care about my weight, but honestly I bet he would prefer me thinner.

So I am determined to do this not only for me but for him.


I think your husband is lucky to have you!

You look beautiful........ if you want the weight to go and you work at it really hard it will go!

Seriously, you are beautiful NOW!!! :D
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Re: I feel like I tricked my husband

Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:25 pm


I think your husband is lucky to have you!

You look beautiful........ if you want the weight to go and you work at it really hard it will go!

Seriously, you are beautiful NOW!!! :D


Well this photo was taken in Feb 2006 and I was about 90kg, so I have lost weight since and am still losing.
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Postby help6363 » Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:38 pm

Well done for losing weight!

I am not sure if I have but I am sorry if I have offended you in any way!
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Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:48 pm

help6363 wrote:Well done for losing weight!

I am not sure if I have but I am sorry if I have offended you in any way!


you didn't offend me at all!!

I was just saying that I don't look like that anymore, well that big anyway.

I just put it up because even on my wedding day I feel I didn't look good.
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Postby help6363 » Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:55 pm

Oh, I understand now ....sorry!

You look beautiful in that pic...... I cannot wait to read your success story!

I understand what you mean about not feeling as though you look good but we are often our own worse critics! I still think you look beautiful in that pic! :D However, I know what you mean we need to be happy in our own skin......

You are doing WW....... what's it like?
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Postby madeline » Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:59 pm

You didn't trick your husband at all! I think as long as you are treating him the same way you did when you were thinner, that's all he wants of you. The way you feel about yourself, wanting to be thinner, make sure you realise that is how YOU feel, and that you're not making assumptions like "My husband isn't saying it, but I know he'd prefer me skinnier." Btw, I think you look lovely in your picture ♥
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Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:55 pm

madeline wrote:You didn't trick your husband at all! I think as long as you are treating him the same way you did when you were thinner, that's all he wants of you. The way you feel about yourself, wanting to be thinner, make sure you realise that is how YOU feel, and that you're not making assumptions like "My husband isn't saying it, but I know he'd prefer me skinnier." Btw, I think you look lovely in your picture ♥


I definately don't treat him any differently other than maybe better!!

I am not losing the weight solely for him, trust me. I had an ex who refused to touch me when I went from a size 8 to a 12. He called me disgusting and ugly. I only lost weight successfully after we broke up.

I know I can only lose the weight for myself. I have been on this rollercoaster ride a long time.
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Postby lisa » Sun Sep 16, 2007 5:03 pm

Cheer up...im sure you will suceed. I wont even have a photo taken of me at the size I am now and i too feel that i am failing my hubby for piling this weight on after our wedding 18 months ago.

Each day is one step closer to being the person you want to be....dont be disheartened!!!
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Postby soon2bayummymummy » Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:31 pm

i can relate as within 6months after meeting my now hubby i had gained 14kgs then went on to have 3kids and now weigh 29kgs more than when we first got together but i say bad luck to him, its his take away foods and getting me pregnant that got me, yeah i could of ate better but thats from now on. I sometimes wonder what he thinks of me now but then it turns into' as long as im happy with me then thats the main thing and if im not then ill do something about it'.
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Postby vanessa0305 » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:53 am

I know exactly what you are saying. When I met my hubby I was a 12-14. I ballooned up to a 18 in about 18 months and was a size 18-20 when we got married. Like you I felt a bit like I robbed hubby of the beautiful wife he thought he was getting. However I am now down to a size 10 and my censored drive hasn't returned but hubby can't keep his hands to himself so I feel loved and sexy but it doesn't help. Not sure what will.
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