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I feel like I tricked my husband

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:57 am

its the opposite for me. mick has always had a thing for big girls by looking at photos of his ex's! its strange to think that he has seen me thinner than most people in my life have seen me.
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Postby JL77 » Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:38 pm

Oh no please cheer up, trust me your hubby loves you for who you are not what you look like, and to be honest you look very nice in that photo

does he give you any reason to think this way?
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Postby electrongirl » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:15 pm

JL77 wrote:Oh no please cheer up, trust me your hubby loves you for who you are not what you look like, and to be honest you look very nice in that photo

does he give you any reason to think this way?


no not at all, like I said, he isn't the one with the problem, its totally me.

And I have already done well on the road to having the figure I had before. I was just having a downer and thinking silly things...
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Postby onmyway » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:21 pm

My hubby tricked me! He made me think he was this outgoing, obsessively tidy, gourmet cook! I now know that he likes to play on the computer, is messy, and can only cook 2/3 types of dishes. But I still love him to bits, especially because he is fantastic in other areas.

I'm sure it hasn't even crossed your husband's mind! You are beautiful.
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Postby Fireball » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:23 pm

Nikki the negative time with your husband has no doubt had an affect on your outlook. It is common to put on weight when settling into a relationship, maybe you feel more secure. But the other side, are you testing him, putting on weight to check that he really loves you? Looks a bit crazy when I put it in writing but seemed possible in my head hehe. One way or the other if you want to bring about the change you can do it!
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Postby electrongirl » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:56 pm

Fireball wrote:Nikki the negative time with your husband has no doubt had an affect on your outlook. It is common to put on weight when settling into a relationship, maybe you feel more secure. But the other side, are you testing him, putting on weight to check that he really loves you? Looks a bit crazy when I put it in writing but seemed possible in my head hehe. One way or the other if you want to bring about the change you can do it!


ummm no! I didn't put this weight on on purpose!! I have struggled with my weight off and on for years. I would NEVER gain weight on purpose.

I'm not sure what you mean by my negative time with my husband?
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Postby Fireball » Tue Sep 18, 2007 6:51 pm

No I didnt mean you would want to purposely put on weight, especially if you have been working on it for years. But I have had heard people talking about subconsciously putting on weight for lots of reasons, eg someone was raped she put on weight so people wouldn't find her attractive, other people to test their partner to see if they would be faithful or loved them enough to stay with them. Sorry when I referred to your husband, I should have said "Ex" - "I had an ex who refused to touch me when I went from a size 8 to a 12. He called me disgusting and ugly. I only lost weight successfully after we broke up." This is what I was talking about. This could have a huge affect on your esteem. I'm not saying you did intentionally put on weight, as I mentioned earlier, it may be that you actually felt secure and comfortable so it would be easy to put on weight instead of feeling the need to be stringent with yourself. It's just some people apparently do put on weight for other reasons.
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Postby electrongirl » Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:45 pm

ok I see what you meant, I wan't married to my ex so have only ever had one husband so thats where I got confused!!

I have lost & gained the same 20-25kg over the course of 10 years.

Mainly its when I move in with someone and I stay home and eat alot!!

I think its being comfortable and not really worrying so much until it gets to this stage!!
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Postby Fireball » Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:15 pm

It makes sense it is a sad side affect that because you are content you put on weight. I get what you mean about tricking your husband because you didnt expect that this would happen and wanted to have a beatutiful wedding and everything to be perfect. What a shame that it happens when you have a husband you feel happy with and want to be at your best becasue you think he deserves it. I do think you are attractive but you need to be comfortable with how you look and if you are overweight it really can affect your health too. I do hope you are able to lose the weight you want and feel happy about how you look.
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