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I DON'T CARE!!!

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I DON'T CARE!!!

Postby rivenriver » Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:58 pm

And it sucks, cos I really should.

Right now, I don't give a stuff about loosing weight. I don't care about clothes, I don't care about swimming, I don't care about acting, I don't care about being picked up, I don't care about my health, I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night I over ate at dinner, there was a pizza party so I had two big bits, and I found out I'd won canteen credit, so I got wizz fizz and a mars bar. And I didn't do anything physical, cos as soon as I try I balk cos I should be doing assignments, no matter that I spend the whole day on the internet anyway, not working at all!

Today I had more cereal than I have been having, and now I want food too. I refuse to check if I have any money, cos if I do it will go straight in a vending machine, and I can't afford that. But when I go downstairs for lunch in 40 minutes, I'm not going to make a salad sandwich like normal, I'm going to go straight for the biggest, greasiest pile of food I can. Why? Because I hate myself, and I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T GIVE A S***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's never going to happen for me, anyway. I've never acomplished anything else in my life, so why should I bother with this?

I've got motivators. There's a gorgeous necklace I really want to wear to a formal dinner next week, but I'm not allowed to until I do 7 days of my eating plan without stuffing up. Actually I wanted to wear it to tonight's formal dinner, but no such luck, cos I'm a weak s*** for brains who can't get her act together on any aspect of her life.



Please, someone yell at me. Make me care. Give me an idea on how to care. Anything. Scream at me. Please.
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Postby slimmindown » Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:05 pm

hey there, i think you have yelled at your self enough already.

dont be to hard on yourself, this road is never perfect and noone is 100% good all the time.

its sounds like you have a few stresses in your life at the moment.maybe taking some time to work out how to deal with them differently will help.

going for a walk outside for 10 mins before you choose to eat the greasy food may be a help. Fresh air always helps to clear your mind and make you see things a bit clearer.

just remember this forum is always here to support you and you can rant and rave if it helps to get rid some of the tension you have letting out emotion is much better than swallowing it down with food.

just take one thing at a time looking at the big picture is some times too daunting.

break it down into smaller parts. see if you can have the salad sandwhich for lunch instewad, i guarantee you you will feel so much better if you do and you will be proud of yourself.

you can do it....................... 8) 8) 8)
Last edited by slimmindown on Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rebecca » Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:05 pm

Try not to fixate on the bad! You made a bad choice, oh well! you are human! Eating greasy food will not help you, it will make you feel like censored and then you are getting yourself into one big vicious cycle.
I know how hard it can be to do assignments and exercise and also have time for yourself but maybe just make commitments to a time when you can definitely do it. I know for one I work best on school work at night time, I won't do jack in the morning so I wake up, put my gym clothes on and go, without thinking. Sure it sucked at first, but it gets easier and I enjoy the time to myself where I can just destress! Pick your time, because it is for you - weight loss shouldn't be about just looking better, albeit that is a fantastic side effect, it is about you controlling your life. When you give in you give up that control. Don't give up!!! It is worth it.

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Postby oostevens » Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:30 pm

i felt like that last night.

i felt like giving up on everythign, not just weightloss but i just didnt care about life anymore.

i hve been down that track before many many many times..

I am feeling much better today, but if u ever watnt o vent, complain, or talk crap :p i am here :) mostly on msn at night but on forum throughout the day.

Maybe have a good cry....that works for me ha ha or put all ur anger or sadness into working out....dont ever put it into punishing urself! u are worth more than that.

I believe u are worth everything! you are precious, you are unique, you are lovely, and wonderful and worth it all. you are a priceless work of art, not at all a mistake.

we all go through down times, and eating healthier aint easy. take it day by day, set little goals..

anyways sorry if that didnt help. my msn is [email protected]

please feel better :) i hate hearing abotu people going through crap times, specially when i know the feeling myself.

*hug*

rach
[*RACHEL*]

YOU CAN DOOO IT!!!!!

[First goal: to reach 80kgs]
[Second goal: to reach 75kgs]

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Postby sassi » Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:34 pm

i think you're being waaay too harsh on yourself mate, although i do completely understand where you're coming from because i've been in a similar place many times myself.

you have accomplished things already - i don't know you personally, but i can already add at least one thing to your list of accomplishments and that's being at uni. don't downplay that achievement.

if you can be stuffed, tell me what other options there might be for lunch - why not see if you can compromise...maybe don't have the salad sandwich but have something that isn't completely greasy either. i know with me it's all psychological - sometimes i feel like a 'treat' but what i do is just have something hot that's still healthy for lunch because that feels like i'm having something tastier than a sandwich.

i agree with rach too, sometimes just having a cry and letting it all out helps you to start afresh.
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:52 pm

I think you do care, that's why you are so angry. Take the nike line and just do it. Go out, right now and walk around the block. Right this minute, take a bottle of water and then have a salad sandwich then get on with your bloody assignment. You will theink clearer for it.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:12 pm

ditto to everything everyone has already said. i think we all have our off days or weeks and both! lol. the best thing to do is to just get on with it- go for a walk and clear your head. i like walking at night so i can look at the stars :) chin up !!
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Postby Sas » Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:14 pm

Oh chickie that's no good. Don't be too hard on yourslef hun... we all have times like this.

One thing I fall down on when I'm in moods like this is I think that just because I have eaten badly once already I may as well write the day off and that is so not true.

Just think how good you will feel after having a healthy sandwhich and just think how awful and bloated you will feel if you have the yucky food. I know it's hard to think like that when you are down on yourself and the world in general but you will feel sooo much better.

As for the exercise... I see you live in Canberra which is where I live too :) I do boxercise at AIS and it is an awesome workout and you feel so motivated and happy after doing it. I really recomend it and it isn't too expensive either. Let me know if you wanna chat more about doing this chickie :)

Be strong! You can do it! :)
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Postby rivenriver » Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:21 pm

Thanks so much for all your support guys.

I only found the first two responses before I had to leave, but they gave me strength, and I felt a lot better because of it. And comming back now and reading everyone's helpful comments, it makes me feel so much better.

I did okay at lunch. I still couldn't handle the idea of a salad sandwich yet again, but they were serving baked potatoes, which didn't look too bad, and had one of them with some salad on the side. I also had a bit of toast and most of a skim milo, but considering how I was feeling earlier, I did alright. Thanks to you guys and the support you give me.

sassi, you asked what my lunch options are. I live on campus, fully catered. We get hot lunches, two different options every day. It can be anything from currys, laksas, pasta dishes and stir frys to fish and chips, fried chicken, pies... About half the time, it's something I try not to eat (but somtimes that's just cos I don't like it, like the bbq chicken wings), but it usually goes a week where I eat it every day, a week where I don't. We also have two salad bars, one with mixed salads and fresh fruits, the other with bits and pieces for sandwiches. We get several types of bread too. And there's breakfast cereal available, and milo and milkshake flavouring. And a toaster and a sandwich press. Normally I eat a salad sandwich and a pile of fruit, maybe a milo if I need it (I try and use skim milk). And I like it, it's yummy. But sometimes it's the last thing you want. And it's so hard when the serve chips, cos all my friends get them and talk about how fantastic they are, and they smell amazing. Wedges are the absolute worst.

Again, thanks so much to you all. I WILL get past this, it's just... ugh.

Right now I'm going to go for a ten minute bike ride. Then I'm going to finish my shoter assaignment. Then I'll have accomplished something for the day.

Thank you.
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Re: I DON'T CARE!!!

Postby help6363 » Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:24 pm

rivenriver wrote:And it sucks, cos I really should.

Right now, I don't give a stuff about loosing weight. I don't care about clothes, I don't care about swimming, I don't care about acting, I don't care about being picked up, I don't care about my health, I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night I over ate at dinner, there was a pizza party so I had two big bits, and I found out I'd won canteen credit, so I got wizz fizz and a mars bar. And I didn't do anything physical, cos as soon as I try I balk cos I should be doing assignments, no matter that I spend the whole day on the internet anyway, not working at all!

Today I had more cereal than I have been having, and now I want food too. I refuse to check if I have any money, cos if I do it will go straight in a vending machine, and I can't afford that. But when I go downstairs for lunch in 40 minutes, I'm not going to make a salad sandwich like normal, I'm going to go straight for the biggest, greasiest pile of food I can. Why? Because I hate myself, and I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T GIVE A S***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's never going to happen for me, anyway. I've never acomplished anything else in my life, so why should I bother with this?

I've got motivators. There's a gorgeous necklace I really want to wear to a formal dinner next week, but I'm not allowed to until I do 7 days of my eating plan without stuffing up. Actually I wanted to wear it to tonight's formal dinner, but no such luck, cos I'm a weak s*** for brains who can't get her act together on any aspect of her life.



Please, someone yell at me. Make me care. Give me an idea on how to care. Anything. Scream at me. Please.



Hey!

You sound just like me when I started this whole weight loss journey. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

The key for me was finding an approach that suited me...... I tried everything and then I found calories worked for me.

Don't give up! Also, don't say negative things about yourself, they are NOT true!

I know this sounds weird ....... but have you been eating enough when you have been dieting? I used to half starve myself for three days (only eat 500 calories) and then have a binge for 4 whole days. Now that I stick to the correct number of calories, I seem to do that less.

Chin up! Today is a NEW day and if I can do this.......anyone can!
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Postby Sas » Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:25 pm

Good on you rivenriver! I know what you mean about food getting boring... I have a salad most days for lunch and by about thursday it is thelast thing I want to eat. Great work :)

Have fun on your bike ride... it is a lovelly day out there today :)
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Postby sassi » Thu Oct 11, 2007 4:09 pm

hey rivenriver

sounds like things are a little bit better this afternoon :)

i was wondering what sort of food the campus provided. it sounds like you make good choices and didn't make a bad choice today either! baked potatoes are yum!

as you say, you will get past this.

hope you enjoy the bike ride :)
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:05 pm

Hi there :( I jsut wanted to say that I understand a lot of what you are saying and everyone has given you such great advice already. how are you feeling today hun?
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Postby chubba momma » Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:04 pm

hi there, i think everyone has said what i was thinking, there are going to be days it feels too hard and you want to give up, but in the end you are doing yourself proud in taking the little steps you are taking, dnt be too hard on your self, big hugs
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Postby rivenriver » Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:28 am

Playboy_bunny wrote:Hi there :( I jsut wanted to say that I understand a lot of what you are saying and everyone has given you such great advice already. how are you feeling today hun?


Better. Loads better. It took me a few days, but I'm feeling pretty good now. Also I got that assignment I said I'd do back today, and I did really well.

Thanks so much to everyone for your support. It's just so... supporting. ;)
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