It is currently Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:10 pm
rivenriver wrote:And it sucks, cos I really should.
Right now, I don't give a stuff about loosing weight. I don't care about clothes, I don't care about swimming, I don't care about acting, I don't care about being picked up, I don't care about my health, I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I over ate at dinner, there was a pizza party so I had two big bits, and I found out I'd won canteen credit, so I got wizz fizz and a mars bar. And I didn't do anything physical, cos as soon as I try I balk cos I should be doing assignments, no matter that I spend the whole day on the internet anyway, not working at all!
Today I had more cereal than I have been having, and now I want food too. I refuse to check if I have any money, cos if I do it will go straight in a vending machine, and I can't afford that. But when I go downstairs for lunch in 40 minutes, I'm not going to make a salad sandwich like normal, I'm going to go straight for the biggest, greasiest pile of food I can. Why? Because I hate myself, and I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T GIVE A S***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's never going to happen for me, anyway. I've never acomplished anything else in my life, so why should I bother with this?
I've got motivators. There's a gorgeous necklace I really want to wear to a formal dinner next week, but I'm not allowed to until I do 7 days of my eating plan without stuffing up. Actually I wanted to wear it to tonight's formal dinner, but no such luck, cos I'm a weak s*** for brains who can't get her act together on any aspect of her life.
Please, someone yell at me. Make me care. Give me an idea on how to care. Anything. Scream at me. Please.
Playboy_bunny wrote:Hi there I jsut wanted to say that I understand a lot of what you are saying and everyone has given you such great advice already. how are you feeling today hun?
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