From: Dallas TX
I was working out with my partner and we were doing weighted pull ups. Needless to say upon his turn, he strapped his hands onto the handles, started to pull up and then - the weight dragged his pants down!
Now, this would rarely be any big deal if he wore just some briefs but he wore a jock strap!
So, there he is, hanging onto the handles, can't get the straps undone, and his pants are around his ankle and his butt is visible to EVERYONE in the gym! My buddy is 6'5, 250 lbs, ripped, and a muscle butt that stuck out big time!
I think only a few people actually saw but there were some who just fell over laughing!
From: Waterloo, Ontario Canada
One day after school, my buddy ben came over to work out for a bit. He was doing a warmup set of squats, but he couldn't go down low enough in his jeans. I lent him a pair of my pajama pants that were looser so he could go down lower and get a bigger range of motion. Turns out these pants still didnt have enough room in the back for him.
So just as he breaks 90, there is a massive ripping sound. I look over and he starts to lift the weight up, there is a huge rip in my pants.
Being involved in muay thai kickboxing, I know how to pack a pretty powerful kick, which went swiftly to his balls. It's a good thing he was in my power cage because he dropped like a rock, and so did the 225lbs on his back!
Name: Dave Barker
From: West Valley City, Utah
I was working hard on a stationary bike, facing out into the gym. Near me was some sort of machine where you lie in it and squeeze your thighs together; quite popular with some of the older women. As I was cranking out hard, fast miles, and with nothing to look at, my eyes wandered around the gym, eventually over in the direction the thigh machine, where a very heavy, middle-aged woman, wearing lime green stretch pants, leg warmers and sweat bands was 'working out.'
As she saw my inadvertent glance in her direction, she abruptly stopped her workout, stood up, glared at me, let out a very audible angry-sounding sigh, and marched away. I was surprised and wondered why she had done this. A moment later I found out why.
She reappeared, flopped back into the thigh machine, and carefully arranged a towel covering her crotch. Then she looked me in the eye and mouthed the word, 'Pervert!', and continued her workout. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or throw up!
From then on I buried my face in a magazine during my workouts on the bike.
From: Victoria BC
To start with, I hadn't seen my buddy, Bill for about a week. When I did he had a limp in his walk so I asked what was up? Well, he and another friend were at the gym on base starting a workout. Bill was adding a 35 lb plate on the bar when this knockout lady walks in, looking just awesome. In Bill's words; he looked up, his eyes bugged out then he proceded to drop this plate on his big toe, hence the limp. That's when I started to laugh after I found out he was ok.
From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
I was wearing this cute new exercise outfit for the first time at the gym. The outfit was a two piece: the top had one strap around the neck which hooked in front along with the front closure - it was a weird 'system' but cute nevertheless. I wanted to make an impression with a guy I had noticed there a few times. Well, as it turned out, I certainly made my impression!
I started my usual routine and as I went from machine to machine I noticed that my top was riding up a bit so I kept adjusting it. I think I pulled it down one too many times because all of a sudden the front closure came apart. In my hurry to grab the two pieces and hold them together, all the while looking at my 'heart throb' guy, I tripped over the footing of a weight bench. I went flying one way and my top went flying another way. A flurry of people came over to help (but not the heart throb, however) and I struggled back into my top. One of the girls offered me a huge safety pin to get me through the rest of my workout but I had brought a little t-shirt.
I finished my workout and all through it the guy I was interested in kept looking at me. I was sure he was going to come over and introduce himself.
Disappointingly he didn't and I went to the dressing room to put on my street clothes over my exercise outfit. I went home and took off my clothes so that I could repair my new top and try to secure it a little better.
That's when I noticed the bottom had this huge opening in the butt region - the back seam must have come apart when I fell and I hadn't worn any panties. No wonder Mr. Heart-Throb had his eyes on me and I'm sure a whole (excuse the pun) lot of other people did too. Didn't go back to THAT gym again!
About 18 months a go, a mate and I decided to have a 'squat off' or competition to see who could do the most full squats before getting the wobbly legs on and falling over. Originally, we were going to squat individually and count the reps to see who had the highest number. We changed our minds and, since there were 2 racks, decided to squat at the same time to see who could last the longest. We racked up 80kgs each (about 175 pounds) and began our contest.
Everything went smoothly at first with plenty of heckling and bravado. As everyone probably knows, the first reps are usually with perfect form and you feel like you can go forever. We made the most of this and showed off our prowess to try and outwit the other one. As everyone also knows, it begins to get harder after a short while. The legs begin to burn and we start to huff n puff.
Usually we force out a couple more shaky squats before racking the bar and congratulating ourselves on a job well done. Today of course we kept going because there was no way either of us wanted to lose.
And then it happened.
Deep into a squat I felt that horrible feeling that a squat sometimes pushes out of you. A big, loud fart.
Right at the bottom of the movement my bottom moves a ton of wind in a couple of seconds. At first Im embarrassed 'cause everyone is suddenly looking my way. My face turns even redder and the smell begins to waft over the area. Then, my competition partner begins to complain about the stink and I realise that this just may be the competitive edge I need to win this bloody thing.
He's squating, huffing, complaining and grunting all at the same time. I sense victory and begin to power through a few more increasingly burny squats. Karma is a censored isnt it?
I'll never be sure if it was coincidence or planned but as soon as my wind drifted away my friend let tear with an almighty ripper that should have bought tears to his eyes. It didnt worry me at first. I just thought he was trying to pay me back and I would lift through it. Then the smell hit me.
A pungent, fruity odour left over from a thousand lamb vindaloos. I know everyone has smelled a rank fart. That is not the issue. How many have tasted one? Ususally, when someone 'cuts the cheese' you either run away, clamp your nose or attempt to cover the smell with something else.
Imagine being 'stuck' in a squatting competition! I had nowhere to run.
The worst part of course was that I was in full squat mode and trying to pull oxygen into my lungs as quickly as possible. I had no choice but to 'taste' this god awful stench. That was it. After getting a nose and mouthful of stink I racked the bar and collapsed in a fit of coughing and laughter. I was beaten at my own game.
I have a plan though. A rematch, complete with a pre contest meal of beer, curry, baked beans and cabbage. I will be victorious!
Name: Karen Barker
From: West Valley City, Utah
My office has a workout room that is most often frequented by the guys in the office. Most of the women don't spend much time there because we don't like the posing, screaming 'one more, one more...' or strutting that some of the tough guys like to do when we ladies are there. One of the tough guys is Mike. Mike is about 6'3' and probably about 250 pounds.
He does everything at 100 miles per hour. If he is lifting weights, he has to lift all the weight in the room at the same time, yelling, and dropping weights. He looks at himself in the mirror all the time. He flexes and puffs up at every opportunity. And he laughs at some of the other guys with their 'wimpy' workouts, or the women when we try to do aerobics or Tae Bo. He is oblivious of anyone else in the gym. He often gets on the treadmill and runs like crazy, slinging sweat in every direction and even sometimes blowing his nose into the air. It is disgusting.
One day I was in the gym with another of the women in the office doing aerobics on the mats. In came Mike already wearing his shorts and a bright red sweat shirt, carrying a boom box. He looked at us and laughed. Then he turned on the boom box to some of his headbanger music that played so loudly that it was almost impossible to hear our aerobics DVD. We asked him to turn down the music and he just laughed and sped up. We decided to just pack up and leave the gym, as we were close to being done anyway.
As we gathered up our things, Mike got on the treadmill and cranked it up to top speed, and at a good incline. He started thundering away on the treadmill. He had only been on it for a minute or two, and Mike decided that the sweatshirt was too much.
He wanted to take it off, but, in typical Mike fashion, he wasn't about to get off of the treadmill just to take off some clothes. So he tried pulling the sweatshirt off over his head while running flat out.
When he had his eyes completely covered by the sweatshirt, he beame disoriented, stumbled, and lost his balance. He aburptly stopped running but the treadmill didn't stop! He couldn't pull his arms back down to grab hold on the treadmill.
Mike shot off the back of the treadmill at the speed of light. The back of the treadmill was just a couple of feet from the wall, and Mike made a direct hit on the wallboard. He was going so fast, and was so big that he crashed nearly all the way through the wall, and let out a thunderous 'UUUggggghhhhhhh!' Then he fell to the floor with his arms straight up in the air and his head tangled in the red sweatshirt, landing directly on top of his boom box, smashing it flat.
For the longest moment, Mike lay there motionless. The only noise in the gym was the whirring of the speeding treadmill.
Luckily, Mike lived through the episode. The only things that were hurt were the wall, the boom box, and Mike's overinflated ego.
As soon as we realized that there was no blood or protruding bones, and we knew Mike would live, we died laughing. Mike lay there for a moment longer, unable to see because of the sweatshirt that covered his eyes. He slowly, unsteadily, got up and took off the sweatshirt, his hair standing straight up, his face bright red, and his breath coming in gasps. He looked sheepishly around the room at the few of us who were there laughing, picked up the remains of his pulverized boom box, and quietly left the gym.
The wall had a hole in it that reminded me of the times that Wiley Coyote crashes through a wall chasing the Roadrunner, and leaves his form clearly visible in the wall. Word quickly spread in the office, and soon there were whole groups of people coming to the gym to see the damage and to laugh.
Some of the guys started calling the gym, 'The Hole in the Wall' or 'The Hole that Mike Built.' It took maintenance several weeks to repair the damage to the wall. That entire time people had fun reliving the event of Mike being launched through the wall.
The legend grew and grew until the story was that Mike had gone completely through the wall, and nearly killed a group of people in the hallway. Mike never came back into the gym until long after the crater was repaired. When he finally did come in to use the treadmill, he got undressed before he got on it! He didn't bring in a boom box again, but started wearing earphones. Harder to smash, I guess.