Just an update

[HappyBella55]

Hey my lovelies,

Just popping in to check some Pm's and to let you know why I got my post deleted.

I haven't left the forum. In a moment of...madness (I guess) I asked for my progress threads to be deleted because I felt so selfish to be worrying about maintaining my weight when a great big fear is hanging over my head every sing day. I'm watching my mother fight for her life and the last thing I felt like doing was talking about my weight .

I felt really selfish to be focusing on me, and reading my own post of how happy I was to have achieved this weight loss and all the other achievements I've made throughout my journey just made be sad and out of no wear the the thought of life's to short to be worrying about weight appeared in my thoughts and I wanted to cleanse myself, hence the deleting of my progress thread (I hope that makes sense to you all). Plus needing to spend all my time with my mummy (I even told the olds I was going to move back home, when I only live 7 minute walk away) I felt like being on here was taking time away from us.

What I didn't realise, this little community of ours kept me and does keep me sane. Logging on allowed for a few moments of time to just focus on something else and not worry or stress or be scared of what may or may not happen with my mum.

I've been walking around in a daze, I even missed a half marathon I was supposed to run in on the 1st weekend on June and rocked up yesterday to it wondering where everyone was. I called James to find out what was going on, and he kindly told me it was the weekend prior and he just assumed I didn't rock up because of the situation. When I got back home, it was clearly marked in my dairy, just goes to show how out of it I am.

So that's it. I haven't left the forum, I just got a little lost that is all.

Hope all you lovelies are doing great. Now that I'm on here I'm going to go catch up with you all

[milkyway]

Hi Bella - I did wonder what happened to your thread. Anyway, it's always a pleasure to read your posts. Your participation here is definitely not selfish because I get so much out of your positivity and inspiration out of your achievements.

I bet your mum is so proud of your recent achievements. Sending you and your family lots of positive vibes.

San xox

[EvilWombatQueen]

Bella, you poor thing! I can understand how you'd be feeling mixed emotions about continuing your thread. It's great you live so close to your mum. I'm sure she appreciates all the time you're spending with her. Are you still planning on moving back home?

I can understand your need for things to distract yourself from the more stressful things you are going through right now. We're all here for you whenever you feel the need to unwind, to vent or merely to have a chat. It's great to see you here again.

My best wishes to your mum and family. I'll add to San's positive vibes with a few of my own!

hugs,
Ali

[Booties]

I'll be praying for you, your family and your mum.

[Tarz]

Bella, i hope things start improving real soon. Don't feel selfish taking a bit of time out for sourself each day to feel happy and good about yourself. You need to be able to do it or you'll find yourself getting depressed. Youu need to stay upbeat and happy so that your how family van feel your positive vibes.
Hope everything is okay.

[Cac33]

No wonder I couldn't find your thread. Oh chicky so sorry that you're going through this. No need to feel like you are being selfish, you have worked very hard to get where you are & everyone is very proud of you.

You know I'm always here if you want to talk.

*super duper big hugs*
Cass xox

[GoddessInside]

Oh hun, Im so sorry that you are going through this.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Im here if you need anything....

Helen
xoxox

[B'sgirl]

Bella,

To echo everyone else's words & well wishes, I too am thinking of you. My prayers are with you & your family,

*Hugs*

Hayley xox

[shelbel]

Hi hon,
You know we are here to support you in any way we can, sometimes talking to "strangers" or rather people you dont have to see face to face can be alot easier as you have a bit more freedom in what you can say. Anyway there is no way i think your selfish to be happy and to talk about your achievements, although i can understand the guilt factor, sometimes it helps to have something else to think about and focus on, especially when there are things going on in your life that you have no control over. Just dont forget about all you have learned on your journey, about how strong you are, how capable you are and all the new techinques you have learned to deal with your emotions. Please dont bottle up your feelings hon, they can turn toxic on you. One other thing, let the boy take care of you! Let him be your rock, you cant do everything for yourself and your not alone. Tell him what he can do to help support you.

Im sending you hugs and love and healing thoughts.

Take care

[wilmawalrus]

Thinking of you Bella, and sending you comforting vibes - I went through this myself last year (with my father), and none of it is easy.

Take care of yourself as much as you can - be kind to yourself on all levels. You are a strong and determined person and that will help you now.

Hugs and smiles

Lisa xx

[lng86]

Oh Bella - I can't even possibly begin to imagine what you are going through. Things must be so tough... So just remember that my shoulder is available if you need someone to talk to. Even though things seem like such a constant struggle at the moment, everything will work out.

You are selfless. And I only wish there were more people like you in this world.

I'm always here for you. Always.

Love,
Lauren.

[HappyBella55]

Thank you everyone for your kindness. I feel so overwhelmed by your kind words. Tears have formed in my eyes, from all your kindness.

There's not much to report back on. I'm handling things as best as I can. There are good days and bad days. I'm still looking after me. I've kept up with hockey, I go to the gym most days and continue to run daily. Its all routine and part of life now. I've lost a little bit more weight not intentionally, my body is just settling in to maintenance. I've stopped counting cals, since Its something I don't want to do for life but I am mindful of what I eat and how much of it I eat. Nothing is forbidden and I eat what I want.

well not much else to say, I'm going to catch up with other post.

Have a good day everyone.

[Cac33]

Yeah I noticed your weight had gone down again. It'll sort itself out & find a happy medium.

Have a good day chicky!

[lng86]

Are you wanting to become a dietitian???

My course it a Masters of Human Nutrition. It hardly focuses on science - which is what I wanted. I'd be a qualified nutrition. I can't stand how in depth the science aspect would be... Which is why I've chosen to follow this path.

Tell me more about you!

How are you???

[GoddessInside]

Hey Bella, just popping in to see how you are