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Maintenance question....

For those who have reached their target weight and want to stay there.

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Maintenance question....

Postby Daisybeck » Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:25 pm

If you're an emotional eater, how do you deal with maintenance?

Sitting here pondering about why, in the past, I've been able to lose large amounts of weight but how I've never been able to keep it off. I'm really good at losing weight when I put my mind to it. I do it slowly, I eat healthy, drink my water etc etc... But when I get the weight off all of a sudden I just seem to start piling it back on immediately.

For me it's all to do with emotional eating and being a shy, quiet, passive agressive type.

One thing I have always detested whether I'm slim or huge is people being superficial and inconsiderate towards me about my size whether I'm big or small.

One memorable period in my life a few years back I weighed 97 kilos and over about seven or eight months I got myself down to 63 kilos. I was working full time and spending my days with the same people day in, day out. All of a sudden, the smaller I got the more these people were nicer to me. Two male staff members that previously ignored me when I was big started asking me out and others kept telling me I should start getting myself in the dating game.

I'm sure they meant well but they seemed oblivious to the fact that when I was big they ignored me or behaved borderline rude towards me and acted like I wasn't worthy of getting a date or being perceived as attractive.

When I had lost all the weight, every time I went to eat something at work they would make comments. A female staff member to me: "You can't eat that! It's full of fat!", A male staff member to me: "Don't eat that! You'll ruin that little figure of yours!" A frequent customer: "Hey didn't you used to be that big fat......*trailed off uncomfortably*".

It started to get on my nerves big time because it was constant and I felt like I couldn't spend a single day at work without someone making some sort of comment. That and people standing back as I walked past to look the slimmer me up and down. It didn't seem to occur to them that I didn't appreciate having my body oogled and scrutinised frequently in the workplace.

I take these things to heart. And because I'm a shy and introverted type I didn't know how to address it or stop it. So I would put up with it, say nothing, internalise the anger and then, that's right, start up with the emotional eating as a way to take the sting out of the looks and comments. Over the months I would gain all the weight back and people would start ignoring me again. But on top of that there were nasty comments about me failing to keep the weight off.

I know I'll get the weight off again in my current journey but I dread all the above rubbish happening again when I get there. I think that, for me, maintenance is the hardest part. That and dealing with the reactions of those people who are rude and shallow.

The only person I can remember who had a positive impact on me was another person I worked with. During the journey she showed the same, constant politeness and kindness towards me and made no comments at all about my considerable weight loss. It felt really, really good to have someone who treated me the same when I was 97 kilos as well as when I was 63 kilos. She was a doll and a good role model for not being shallow or judgemental.

I just needed to vent as I feel it's the reason I always put the weight back on. That was about ten years ago and I'm in a completely different job and town now. But I wonder how the new people around me will react this time. I need to find ways to process peoples rude behaviour so it doesn't result in me being miserable and quashing the hurt with food.
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Re: Maintenance question....

Postby sarahm » Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:31 pm

hi .daisybeck. well-i too am an emotional eater( as are about 85% of people with weight issues). i can completely commiserate on your post, and your complex feelings associated with body image and food. i have shed 27 kgs this year and find it saddening that i am now 'visible' again after afew years being utterly transparent at 105kgs. it brings up many deep feelings about our worth as women....i think this issue probably needs professional counselling, but having said that i have not done that myself! recently bought a book titled" want to lose weight ...but hooked on food" by wendy perkins and sandra cabot. this book is invaluable as it addresses all the multitude of issues surrounding emotional eating-and more importantly, useful strategies to address and overcome these problems. i am working my way thru it-cant recommend it enough. think kind thoughts and be nice to yourself--regardless of our hurtful experiences we are NOT worth more when we weigh less. society is the one who gets it all WRONG!!! best of luck-do try the book! hugs-sarahm :)
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Re: Maintenance question....

Postby Daisybeck » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:00 pm

The thought of counselling has crossed my mind and I think I'll be booking a few sessions when I get my weight off. I just find it impossible not to take other peoples insensitivity to heart and then I end up eating my feelings all the way back up to 100kg+ again. :?
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Re: Maintenance question....

Postby JacquiB » Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:02 pm

hi daisey
have you tried boxing or something physical like that that you can take your frustrations out on?
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