Maintenance 101

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Thought 39
Establishing Mini Goals in Maintenance

There is little glory in maintenance. Let's face it, it isn't as exciting to hear that you have neither gained or lost this week as it is losing another kilo to bring your total weight loss to 50 kilos. Once goal weight has been obtained no one is interested in your current weight. People just don't understand that maintaining your healthy weight requires as much dedication as when you were losing.

If we are honest with ourselves, there is a part of us that is missing the excitement of chasing the goals and miss the glory of achievement. Not just our ultimate weight loss goal but also those mini goals and successes along the way. They were real motivators and in maintenance mode they are missed.

Which brings us to today's thought...establishing mini goals in maintenance.
What I'm talking about here is setting up mini challenges in your life to keep you motivated and on top of your game.
For example, one mini goal might be about your weight range. If you are like me; most of the time you will be sitting at the upper end of your range limit. Your mini goal might be to shift it so as to be at the lower end or maybe just at the half way mark. For me I've made it my mini goal to be at least once each week in 68's kg instead of sitting steady in the 69's kg. Other mini goals you may set yourself is to be faster at a particular exercise, do some extra exercise, try out a new sort of exercise, get back into an old exercise, set a precise number for your weigh in (this could be fun with you shooting above or below that number until you hit it on the head) or limit certain foods that are hassling your routine for a set amount of time.

The mini goal itself isn't what is important.
It is giving you a focus and excitement about your maintenance as your achieve those mini goals that is.
Set yourself a mini goal or two and you will set yourself up for continuing success.

Kim

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Thought 40
Remember the numbers

The other day I was visiting my Mum in her room in the aged care centre she lives in. A care worker was doing her nails so I had to wait to take her out for a coffee. The TV was on and there was a story about a caught tuna weighing in at 143.7 kilos. Without thinking I blurted out that the tuna weighed exactly 10 kilos less than I did. They were raving on about how big the tuna was...yet my mind was boggling about how huge I had been – that I weighed more than this record breaking fish did!

That strange odd number...153.7 kilos is seared into my brain. It was the number that came up on the scales the first day I started my weight loss journey. It marks the start of my new lifestyle. There is a very good chance that I may have weighed more than that as in the months beforehand I had eased off my fizzy drink consumption and cut out my daily grease fest morning teas. But this number marks the starting point and so represents the high ebb of my gluttony.

Now, 153.7 kilos is the ruler number that measures my success. I can proudly tell others how that had been my weight once and that I managed to end up weighing 56% less than that. Never forgetting this number means that I never forget what I was and what I’ve achieved.

Other numbers that are important are 87, 87.1, 66.7 and 66.6. The 87 kilos marks my planned amount that I had to lose and 87.1 kilos is the actual amount that I did lose...I proudly quip that I over achieved my goal (just).
66.7 kilos was my target goal weight and 66.6 kilos was the final number that my scales hit on when I reached goal. In Christian circles the number 666 is considered “the mark of the beast” and many Christian pay particular attention to anything that contains a triple six in it. When I told a friend how much I weighed at the time, he instantly replied “oh...the weight of the beast”! So naturally whenever I think of 66.6 kilos my mind links it to the words “weigh of the beast”.

All these numbers remind me of my past achievements but they also serve to remind me that I can’t afford to forget what was or I’ll end up throwing it all away. Remember the numbers...or the achievements will slip away.

Kim

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Thought 40
Remember the numbers

The other day I was visiting my Mum in her room in the aged care centre she lives in. A care worker was doing her nails so I had to wait to take her out for a coffee. The TV was on and there was a story about a caught tuna weighing in at 143.7 kilos. Without thinking I blurted out that the tuna weighed exactly 10 kilos less than I did. They were raving on about how big the tuna was...yet my mind was boggling about how huge I had been – that I weighed more than this record breaking fish did!

That strange odd number...153.7 kilos is seared into my brain. It was the number that came up on the scales the first day I started my weight loss journey. It marks the start of my new lifestyle. There is a very good chance that I may have weighed more than that as in the months beforehand I had eased off my fizzy drink consumption and cut out my daily grease fest morning teas. But this number marks the starting point and so represents the high ebb of my gluttony.

Now, 153.7 kilos is the ruler number that measures my success. I can proudly tell others how that had been my weight once and that I managed to end up weighing 56% (another number I remember) less than that. Never forgetting this number means that I never forget what I was and what I’ve achieved.

Other numbers that are important are 87, 87.1, 66.7 and 66.6. The 87 kilos marks my planned amount that I had to lose and 87.1 kilos is the actual amount that I did lose...I proudly quip that I over achieved my goal (just).
66.7 kilos was my target goal weight and 66.6 kilos was the final number that my scales hit on when I reached goal. In Christian circles the number 666 is considered “the mark of the beast” and many Christian pay particular attention to anything that contains a triple six in it. When I told a friend how much I weighed at the time, he instantly replied “oh...the weight of the beast”! So naturally whenever I think of 66.6 kilos my mind links it to the words “weight of the beast”.

All these numbers remind me of my past achievements but they also serve to remind me that I can’t afford to forget what was or I’ll end up throwing it all away. Remember the numbers...or the achievements will slip away.

Kim

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Thought 41
Expectations VS Reality: Living in the Present

This thought is linked with Thought 34 but I want to explore managing our expectations so that maintenance will not be sabotaged.

When we begin the weight loss journey we are stepping into the unknown. We have dreams and aspirations about what life would be like as a thin person but it is only when we get there that the full realisation of that state can be known. Unfortunately what is found is that expectations and reality don’t square up.

While it is true many new and good things are present that you hadn’t factored in which delight and surprise you. There is a sense of new found confidence from accomplishing weight loss that empowers you for example. Also being healthy and fit gives you more energy than you ever have so you stop being a spectator to life and became fully immersed with life’s offerings. The downside however is the discovery that reaching goal weight doesn’t make your life perfect.

In my case I didn’t have much of an expectation of how my life would look like after reaching goal. I figured that my healthy would improve enough so that I wouldn’t die before my daughter’s 21st birthday, that clothes would be easier to buy, people would treat me as others rather than prejudge me before I entertained them and that I would look normal – look like everyone else. With such low expectations it is no wonder I was blown away by the new lifestyle!

But even so there were things that I hadn’t factored in that did challenge me with the reality of weight loss. As I began to lose tens of kilos, there was a slow dawning that my body would not look normal at the finish. All through my life people have always assumed that I was young than I was. Now with weight loss I visibly aged so that I looked older than my years. I had let all the air out of the balloon and it was a very wrinkly result. The worst of it was that my expectation that my stomach would become flat just wasn’t happening. A soccer ball of wobbly fatness stayed on my gut even when the rest of me was skin and bone. Finally I had to face the reality – it wasn’t stubborn fat...it was a huge lump of loose skin and residue fatty tissue that just wasn’t going to shift.

These realities I had to learn to deal with and face the truth of the situation. It is what it is. I had no right to expect abusing my body for decades would mean I get away without any consequences. I did the crime – I pay the time. Rather than dwell on what isn’t perfect I choose to focus on the many blessings. The things that aren’t perfect are just the price I paid to get this better future.

If I hadn’t moved on and faced the reality of my life I could have undone all that I’ve gained in this better future. The dissatisfaction of not reaching my expectations may have led me not to value those things that I now have. And just like a spoilt child I would have ended up cutting off my nose to spite my face. That may be psychologically satisfying but being overweight again will leave me without my expectations fulfilled and despairing over the loss of that better future that I let slip from my fingers.

Discount what can’t be changed and count your blessings instead.

Kim

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Thought 42
Coping With Christmas (Part 1 – Food)

It is at this time of the year when pressure to break from your routines that keep your maintenance on track occur. Apart from the temptations of copious foods on offer there are also the problems of seasonal stress and time demands.

So how does one stay on track and keep your maintenance on track?

Let’s deal with food first. This is all about fore planning. Just engage those strategies that you would when going to a restaurant or other social functions.
a) Plan extra exercise before the event (banking a calorie deficit)
b) Make the dinner the evening before, breakfast and lunch lighter than usual
c) Have a good healthy snack to take off the edge of hunger before the event
d) Throw yourself into the social aspect of the event not the food.
e) Decide how much you are going to eat before you start eating
f) When you have finished eating – move the plate away from you and put your napkin on it
g) Watch the alcohol and cool drinks...water down where possible and “nurse” your drink to last all evening
h) Plan extra exercise after the event

Kim

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Thought 43
Coping With Christmas (Part 2 – Stress)

Christmas is the time of high expectations. Often at work it is busiest time of the year or projects deadlines are pushed to be finished before Christmas.
But the biggest stresses are family and friends' expectations. Family gathering can be minefields of broken dreams. We plan and go to these events with a Capra-est picture in our heads. Chestnuts in the fire, eggnog just right and all happy around the Christmas tree opening up perfect wonderful Christmas presents. The reality is very different. Drunken Uncle Charlie asking for the hundredth time to pull his finger...only to remark afterwards; “Now that’s a cracker”! Your mother bringing food along even though you told her a million times that you will have enough. You haven’t finished wrapping all the presents but unfortunately the guests have started to arrive early. Cousin Steve has rocked up with his new girlfriend and you need a present for her so she doesn’t feel left out...and the only thing you can think of is a golf ball washer given to you last year (now think...who have it to you – and are they here tonight?). And even though you have warned those kids of yours for the umpteenth billion time that Santa only gives presents to good kids and not naughty kids; they have completely lost control and are running all over the house – and excited the dog so much that the mutt has knocked over the Christmas tree.

You survey all before you...a bluish vein is pulsing around your left temple in time with your stress headache. The evening is still young...you reach for a wine and gulp it down...then another...and another. You look at the food laid out so that people ‘can help themselves’. You say to yourself..."What the hell – I’ll deal with my weight tomorrow"...and stick your trotters in and gorge.

How do you cope and still remain sane - thus maintaining your healthy lifestyle?
Plan the things you can and let the rest fall as it may.
There are things that can be done beforehand that can ease the stress; such as...
a) Shop well before Christmas Eve is one of them. My mother use to start shopping for the next Christmas as soon as the last one was finished. Indeed, she never bought a present that she did get on sale during the year. Don't get caught in the last minute madness.
b) Keep you Christmas meal simple. A thousand and one dishes need not to be produced. Nor does a dish need to take several days to prepare to be ‘just right’.
c) If people want to bring a dish of food – let them...that’s one less for you to worry about.
d) Remember that Christmas is about people not things. Things happen...but it is people that matter.
e) Have a ‘take it as it is’ attitude. Perfection is for the other side of heaven. In this world ‘stuff happens’ so kiss it off and let it go.

One year my wife invited over to our place for Christmas Day dinner an elderly couple we know who had no family. It went well even though I would have preferred not to have done it as I had worked that afternoon and by the end of the Christmas season having entertained at all those Christmas parties I was well over socialising with people.
The next year the wife of this elderly couple invited themselves over again! Boy! Was I cheesed...but I wore it. And then it happens at the next one. At the time I was ropeable...but made the best of it. I had befriended a guy who was interested in magic without family here in Perth and was living in his car. I invited him along as well. It turned out that he was raised as a Muslim and this was his first ever Christmas celebration (and Christmas gift).
This year, we invited a friend over who was estranged from his whole family and was facing the prospect of being alone for Christmas. My elderly couple enjoyed these times...and I put up with it.
What we didn’t know then was that it was going to be our last Christmas with this elderly wife...she died of a brain tumour suddenly early this year.
We just took all those good times for granted...and now they are gone for good.
We are going to invite the elderly husband around for Christmas...but we all know it isn’t going to be the same.

It is only when we lose something that we truly appreciate what we had.

The stress isn’t worth it – kiss it off and enjoy the good times instead.

Kim

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Thought 44
Coping With Christmas (Part 3 - Time)

Everyone wants a piece of you during the Christmas period. That means that time for your self is in short supply. For those who are losing weight or maintaining weight loss that translates to lack of time to do exercise and eat healthily.

Yes there are great demands placed on your time during this silly season. Between increased social functions, workloads and preparations for Christmas it leaves precious little left. So how do we carve that time up effectively and still leave enough for our maintenance/weight loss?

Successful maintenance lifestyle is all about successful time management. These are skills you should be working on right through the year. With these skills you should be able to figure your way through. Here are a few ideas to help you along...

a) This echo a suggestion made to reduce stress – prepare for Christmas early. Every year we remark how the shops have the Christmas decorations up earlier and earlier. Let that be a cue to you to begin preparations early too. If you do start early you will find that you will have much more time as things get busier.

b) Use a list and do things in logical order in your preparations. This makes you use your time more efficiently. In Art School I would be given assignments with 6 hours of class time and 3 week deadline. My time was poorly used and I always was rushing at the last minute to finish them. When my friend was training me to be a Ticket/Sign Writer he was despairing over how slow I was. He nailed the problem...one day I came over to his place and over on the wall next to my workspace he wrote the word in big red letters “THINK!” What he wanted me to do was before I began my work to stop and think out how best to do it in the most logic and efficient manner. I increased my speed out of sight by doing so. Those school assignments if I were given them now would have been completed within the first hour of class time. Much time can be saved by doing things smarter.

c) Be flexible with your exercise and exercise routine. Your lifestyle and your exercise practice have to gel together. If your routine can’t be successfully managed then the routine must change to reflect the lifestyle change (if only temporarily). Your usual practice might be to do an hour swim in the morning at the local pool but if you find that the pool isn’t open that day or it will only be open in the afternoon then a new plan must be put into action. You may find another place to swim, or you could rearrange your schedule so you can swim in the afternoon, maybe go jogging instead or a combination...you can only manage a 30 minute afternoon swim and you can go jogging in the morning.

d) Incorporate events and exercise. Figure ways that you can get exercise into this time and still be social. A nice relaxing family walk after a Christmas meal is an easy idea. You may like to try something we use to do at Christmas...our family open the presents on Christmas Eve. We would go out the backyard to play games (backyard cricket or whatever is your poison) and watch for Santa’s reindeer travelling overhead. Every now and again Dad would send one of us kids inside to check the Christmas tree in case we missed him. Funnily enough it always seemed to be the kid who checked after Dad’s turn to looking that found the Christmas presents. Be creative...outdoor Christmas events (picnics at local parks; beach; mini golf; bowling etc) present many opportunities for healthy activities (doesn’t really seem like exercise when you are having so much fun – does it?).

The great truth of life is this...we find the time for the things we want to do and not for the things we don’t want to do. So make sure to keep wanting the best for your life...by continuing your healthy lifestyle...and make the time.

Kim

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Thought 45
Eating Out; a Maintenance Case Study

Last Friday I ate out and I thought an exploration of the day may be useful as it was a real mix of the expected and the unexpected.

A friend of ours had a birthday on the Friday. He had lost his wife earlier this year and we knew it was going to be a tough time for him (it was also his wedding anniversary as well) so we invited him to a tavern restaurant for dinner. He knows that we like to eat early and didn’t mind the 5:30 pm for 6pm booking.

So being a sensible person I “banked” some spare grams by doing an extra bit of exercise that morning (about 30 minutes on the exercise bike...getting me 0.4kg less than the day before) and made sure I had my usual good breakfast. Snacks were kept very minimal.

My wife and I had to get a present for him at a Christian bookshop. Along the way we were waylaid by various op and vintage shops (a weakness we both share). By the time we got to the bookshop it was lunch time. They have a cafe attached to the bookshop (cunning devils) and decided to eat there rather than wait until we get home (avoid late lunches if you are going out to eat that night).

The menu was varied but healthy options could be found. My wife decided to not eat much and went with a cappuccino and some banana bread. I went with a salmon and Swiss cheese sandwich (white bread...don’t like other sorts) and a cappuccino. Things looked hunky dory until the food came out. The serves were huge. My sandwich had salmon, Swiss cheese and salad piled into it. The lunch had been pricey and now I knew why. It was healthy so I ate it all but in the back of my mind I worried that perhaps it may be too much given that we were going out that night.

Before going out for a night meal, one of the things I do would usually do is eat something beforehand so that I wouldn’t be overly hungry when the meal finally arrives in front of me. I didn’t do it this time as I was sure our meal wouldn’t be served too late (last time I went out the dinner wasn’t served until 9pm!). Also my big lunch haunted me a bit so I knew that I had to cut back somewhere and this was the most logical place.

We arrived at the place on time. Our friend was waiting and the restaurant tavern was empty so we were served quickly. Plenty of healthy choices were available on the menu. Being a big meat lover however I was torn between scotch steak and the T-bone. The T-bone won out...I knew that there would be less meat on the T-bone and eating it neatly with a knife and fork would slow me down. It came with an order of chips and a salad. The later designed to soothe my conscience.

When the meals came out the steak was very big but the chips and the salad looked like reasonable serves...well they did until I lifted up the steak and discovered that it was resting on a massive amount of chips! Right away I hived off a portion of the chips to my daughter and made a mental note that much exercise was going to be ahead of me. During the meal there was talk about having dessert. I was strongly of the opinion that others may indulge but I wasn’t going to. In the end we decided to retire to a coffee shop and have something there. At the coffee shop I ordered cappuccino for the adults and my daughter had an orange juice. My wife and daughter also decided to have a fancy chocolate each rather than have a cake. My friend and I wisely had none.

When we got home I did my regular exercise (90 minutes on the exercise bike) and in the morning did another 30 minutes extra. At my daily weigh in I weighed 0.4kg more than the day before. Result - successful management of that day had kept the weight gain within reason. By the next day’s weigh in, with careful management of snacks and additional exercise I weighed in 0.6kg lighter...thus removing any weight “hangover” from Friday’s outings.

So that is a blow by blow description of the event. Notice that at no time did I throw in the towel and surrender. Always there are things you can do to minimise weight gain. Just keep your head and take responsibility for your choices and you too can weather whatever comes your way.

Kim

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I haven't forgotten about this thread. Just that the madness of the season is upon me. At this time of the year I'm working harder than at any other time (not that it is that hard!). I have still a few thoughts left in me and hope to get a few more down after Christmas when things are quieter.

Thought 46
Release the Inner Zealot

Becoming zealous is the peril of those who live their lives in extremes.
We have all heard or experienced the fervour of those who have overcome addiction or radically changed their life’s course. They are often clichés characters in films and television. The reformed criminal sinner turns into a self righteous Bible thumper, the alcoholic becomes a teetotal prig, an uncaring smoker changes into an arrogant crusader against passive smoking and the like. In a way these unfair stereo types do echo the swinging pendulum of emotions and actions that a changed life brings.

Those of us who have lost lots of weight too are not immune to such things. Once we lead lives that were unconcerned about fitness, healthy living and our weight. Now these things are to the fore of our thinking. Such awareness natural starts to extend beyond ourselves as we see others leading the sort of lifestyle that we have left behind. We now know the benefits and wish to impart that knowledge to others.

It finally happened the other day. Sure, I have for a long time been a vocal advocate for leading a healthy lifestyle. Taking every opportunity to encourage and share my weight loss story to others at the slightest chance.
For a long time I’ve had to bite my tongue at shopping centres (particularly coffee shops) and other public places. I see real obese people struggling along and really want them to give them hope and start them onto a better future.

But now I crossed the line – I have accosted a total stranger. The inner zealot was released!

I was driving my mother home after taking her out for a coffee and I spotted an older woman weighing about 120 kilos running in the midday sun. Obviously on a mission to lose weight. I was impressed that she was jogging – as I wasn’t able to jog until I weighed substantially less than that. I admired her work ethic and wanted to encourage her by pulling over the car and encouraging her. It was only that I had my mother in the car that stopped me. I dropped off my mother and on the way back I look out for her jogging along. I’m debating with myself that pulling up next to her isn’t a rational thing and that I should just drive pass and keep my nose out of someone else’s business. I compromise by saying I will only do it if there is an easy place for me to park the car when I see her. There was!

So I see her jogging along and in front of her is a street corner with a gravel verge right for the parking. I park the car, get out and wave her down. I tell her my story and hear about her journey so far. She was encouraged and I felt good for the encounter.
So what does this all mean? Am I encouraging you to became a zealot and for what purpose? In a way I am...and the purpose is for your own well being. This isn’t about buttonholing people to feed your ego with what you have accomplished. It is about keeping this important in your life so that you will continue and not stop.

I picked up a book written by a person who had successfully lost weight. The book was based on her successful blog. I went to the blog to see how she was doing these days since the book was published. I was re-directed to another blog she had set up. Apparently, she no longer wanted her life defined in terms of her weight journey and wanted a blog about other things. I read through the new blog entries as she discovers life as a “normal” person. Less and less is mentioned about her weight management until finally in one entry she comes clean – she has regained a good deal of weight. Now the struggle continues...two years on after success.

So why did she fail after two years? I believe it is because she allowed her zeal to diminish. My thoughts 10 and 23 cover some of those aspects as what she has allowed to diminish. Don’t get complacent about your maintenance. Release your inner zealot and the burning of that passion will help you to remain true.


Kim

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Thought 47
The Old Hand of Experience

The other day my family went out for a lunch at a tavern restaurant. Near the end of the meal I had come to the realisation that I had approached this meal with no fear or worry. In the past if I go out for a meal I’m usually on high alert.

During weight loss, going out for a meal would mean more times than not ending in a weight gain blow out. That has a way of getting you a little gun shy about these events! Eventually I learnt skills to cope with these occasions. Nevertheless, I would approach these situations with wariness and forward planning.

This day was different. I was very relaxed and confident. I had not ‘banked’ any calories beforehand as I knew that I could cut back on dinner if needed. Also I could increase my exercise to make up any short fall. I knew that I could cope with whatever was thrown my way.

It is the walk of experience that has given me this new found confidence. I’ve been in this sort of circumstance before and know that I have the skill set to manage it. I perused the menu and picked something I liked that was healthy (no – it wasn’t the grilled fish!). I drank water during the whole lunch. I had a light dinner that night. Got up early the next morning, in case I had to do extra exercise (which I didn’t need to) and found that I had come out of it all with style.

As you continue along your maintenance part of your journey – you will discover that your skills and lifestyle practices have given you enough experience that you will be able to win through without fuss. The old hand of experience will make maintenance second nature and less of a struggle.

Kim

[Divalicious]

Thank you for this thread Kim,
As I near maintenance, I find myself reading and re-reading your pearls of experience and wisdom with as must gusto as I do my (healthier choice) meals!!
Everything you've said not only makes sense, but is priceless and I'm grateful for you sharing EVERY post; thank you sooooooooooo much. xx

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I have a few posts left in me on this subject.
Like I said before - I don't know if I'll make it to the 101 posts that I promised but I'll do my best.
I feel a bit like Cool Hand Luke...when he states that he could eat 50 eggs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAkzEusQLBw
At the time it seemed like a good round number!

When I was losing weight I only read two books on the subject of weight loss.
Both were given to me by my sister. Both books were written by men who had lost a great deal of weight...and both books had their flaws.
One I read and enjoyed and the other I stopped reading because it was doing my head in at the time.
It was only after I finished the task of losing 87 kilos that I got interested in reading on the subject of weight loss in an attempt to figure out what I had done right and what I didn't do so well. I now have over 100 books on the subject (have I mentioned that I enjoy reading? ).
What struck me reading on the subject is that all of these books hardly devote any space to the subject of maintaining your weight loss after reaching goal. You would be fortunate if a book includes one or two paragraphs on the subject.
Yet this is half the journey - and the half that lasts the longest!

This thread contains more thinking on the subject than all those books combined.
That is a very scary thought indeed!

Kim

[Divalicious]

Well you doing great.....49 down, 52 to go!!!
Keep em' comin' Kim, each of your posts on the subject are priceless and I enjoy reading every one of them!!!

[Divalicious]

Oops my bad.....
47 down, 54 to go!!! Sorry Kim, for a minute there you were closer than you/I thought!!

[Blitz]

"A Bridge Too Far" maybe?...I'll tackle them one at a time.
Just like reaching your goal in weight loss before you know it you've achieved it.

If you have any special subjects that you want covered - let me know...I do requests!

I'll be soon covering the topic of getting use to your new body, I've touched on it here alreasy but I want to really go in depth.
I've been thinking deeply about it since an exchange of posts between Josie and Helen at the beginning of last November.
Sometimes a subject needs marinating for a while to get the best ideas on it.

Kim