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Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

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Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby Tarz » Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:49 am

We all love to get compliments but does anyone else ever get a compliment from the same person so often that its starting to no longer sound like a compliment?

One lady at my work everytime she comes in she says how much weight i have lost which started off fine, i didn't mind it, in fact i loved hearing it. But now when she says it she also adds in aren't you were you want to be yet? Your getting too skinny.
In my mind i keep thinking, how can she say that> I am a size 14, i am bordering the bmi between normal and overweight. I weigh 75kg! My body fat is still 2% over the recommened body fat percentage. I still have plenty to lose, i don't want to look too skinny or anything but i am still way off that and where i want to be.
How can i get her to stop saying this every time she comes in. I've told her i'm not where i want to be, my body fat is still to high, i'm not where i want to be regarding BMI and my fitness isn't where it should be. Her response to that was in my eyes i must see her as really fat. SHE'S A SIZE 10!!!

I just don't get it. This website really needs a specific section for venting.
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Re: Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby Cac33 » Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:24 pm

Oh Tara she probably doesn't realise the more often she says it, it means less each time & sounds like a broken record.

Can I ask a question? Are you sitting down when she talks to you? Honestly you have a tiny upper body & its because you're so tall that you weigh a bit more (could be muscle too because you have been gyming a lot lately). You carry your weight really really well & if you are sitting down then maybe she is only seeing your upper body which has hardly any fat on it.

Try not to take offense to her but I can totally see why you're upset & frustrated by her comments.
Cass

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Re: Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby Tarz » Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:22 pm

I was standing up, i helped her through the door cos she had a lot of stuff, she looked me up and down and made the comment.
Your right my upper body is small comapared to my lower body. I inherited my mums big butt and thighs, who got it from her mum who got it from her mum.....etc.
I'm trying not to take offense to it and stay smiling and cheerful , but it does get to me, i never thought i would get annoyed at someone saying i am skinny...but in y head i think its annoying me alot because, now this is gonna sound sorta strange but it makes sense in my head, but the more she says it the more it sounds sarcastic in my head and makes me feel bigger.
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Re: Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby shelbel » Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:48 am

Ok, i kinda know your frustration, i have i very large network of clients that i deal with and LOADS of them comment on my weight now!! It can become a bit annoying when you hear all about your own weightloss every hour or so (welcome to my world) i too get the " your getting too skinny' thing, but i find it comes mostly from the older generation. I put it down to the them having different ideas about how women are 'suppose' to look, as in they grow up with M Munro (size 14) and the next gen have nicole ritchie and the olsen lollypops as their aspirations (size= unattainable for real women) is she older? I find them to have different ideals about skinny. Its hard sometimes to tell with women when they are taking the piss or being censored, i think it depends on what your other interactions with her are like. How is she with you when she isnt discussing your weight??
Highest Weight - 93kgs
Current Weight - 68.3kgs
Goal Weight - 65kgs

The wise man Stephen King once said - The only way to go on, is to go on. To say 'i can do this' even when you know you cant

You'll find me in the almost there section :)
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Re: Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby Athena » Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:16 pm

I know what you mean. I think that some people think that it's the polite thing to say. I know it's hard, but you have to try and not let it get to you. They really are just trying to be nice.
It's times like these you learn to live again
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Re: Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby Tarz » Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:43 pm

shelbel wrote:i think it depends on what your other interactions with her are like. How is she with you when she isnt discussing your weight??


She's a friendly lady, she's got to be early 30's so definately not old. Always friendly, happy chirpy. So i don't know, like Athena said, not going to let it get to me and just ignore it when she syays things like that. Overall, it is my decicions when enough weight loss is enough, i don't need to let other people into my head and screw up my perceptions of whats enough and whats not enough.
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Re: Compliments that no longer feel like compliments

Postby big_boned » Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:44 pm

I think that the lady in the office might have some body issues of her own - you say shes a size 10 but she is telling you you are to skinny at a size 14.....maybe she sees herself as larger than she is?

Stop when you are ready to stop, hell I wish that was my problem, mine is starting.

Maybe you could make it an ambition of yours to get comments about being too skinny from her for a while. :wink:
You'd have thought with all the practise I've had dieting, I would have gotten it rImageight.
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