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How Do You View Your "Fatter" Self?

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How Do You View Your "Fatter" Self?

Postby frabjous » Tue Apr 07, 2009 7:40 pm

I'm curious to know how those of you who have lost large amounts of weight feel about yourselves past and present. I lost 35kg+ and have maintained it for nearly 2 years, but I have quite a few issues with my self-perception now. Is there a "healthy" way to think about how you used to be overweight?

For example, a few weeks ago a friend of mine referred to a stranger as "that fat woman" and I was surprised by how much it upset me personally. How do you deal with that kind of thing? Should it still be personal?

I find it very difficult to know that people who like me now would have had trouble respecting me a few years ago. Can you accept that there was something "wrong" with yourself back then, and/or do you see yourself as a different person then and now? I don't really know how to reconcile the fact that I am the same girl with the fact that now I am seen as a better person in almost every aspect.

I'm proud of myself and what I managed to do, but sometimes I feel like I sold out, or stabbed my larger self in the back. It's like I acknowledged that I wasn't good enough... even though apart from the weight, I haven't actually changed very much since then. Was being fat really a personal (or even moral) failing?

Should I look down on or reject who I used to be?

Any input about how to look at this would be really appreciated.
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Re: How Do You View Your "Fatter" Self?

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:01 pm

I haven't lost as much weight as you (congratulations by the way!) but your question really made me think so I'd like to put my two cents in if that's okay!

I don't think you should reject or disparage the person you used to be. You needed to be that person to learn the things that made you the person you are today. I'm sure you were a fabulous person when you were 35kg heavier, and I'm sure you're a fabulous person today. I personally see it as counterproductive to say you're the same person though. We're constantly learning new things and evolving. Whether it's achieving your goals in losing weight, learning a new skill or even making new friends you are constantly improving yourself. It doesn't mean you were an inferior person before, but a great person who has become even greater over time.

I don't think that the decision to lose weight is casting a moral judgment on all overweight people, or even casting judgment on your old self. For a completely off-topic example: a couple of years ago I bleached my hair blonde. I'd had black hair for over ten years but didn't feel that it suited me any more. So overnight I became blonde and I've been blonde ever since. My decision doesn't mean that I look down on people with black hair. Nor does it mean I'm judging my old self negatively for being dark-haired. I wanted to be blonde for my own reasons and the time was right to do it. Similarly I decided to go to uni a few years ago. I managed to get a bachelor's degree with honours. I don't look down on people who don't have degrees, nor do I hate my previous self for not having a degree. But I'm proud of what I achieved simply because I set a goal and achieved it for my own sake. Maybe you should look at your weight loss in the same way. You decided you wanted to lose weight for your own reasons and you achieved your goal. That's something to be proud of!
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