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Supporters & Saboteurs...??

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Supporters & Saboteurs...??

Postby waterbaby » Wed Mar 24, 2010 1:01 pm

Hi there
I am 5 kilos along on my 40 kilo weight loss goal and I really truly (well almost) feel that it is actually going to happen this time.

I just wondered, other than this forum, what true supporters people have around them.
I feel that other than my DH who thank goodness is a rock-solid supporter, many of my other friends and family arent really there for me.
I wonder if its because I have tried and failed so many times before and I need to prove it to them now?

Also, the Saboteurs..... My mum is my life-time Chief of Sabotage. She would start me on diets when I was 12 etc and then "give me permission to give up" by just allowing me to eat something off diet... Even now she doesnt take my attempts seriously and offers food when she knows I am really trying hard.

Other friends feel intimidated. I am the only really overweight one but when I make a healthy choice I get , "Wow you're good!" or "Oh I have been eating so badly" and then if they hear I am at teh pool or gym, then they say stuff like "Oh I should really do that, I need to lose weight etc..."
One friend told me how here friend's 50kg weight loss "has gone to hear heard and now she is feeling hot and is flirting too much!!!".... WTF?!?! OF COURSE you would feel HOT after 50kg of weight loss!! Does she think I am gonna get too hot and chase after her hubby??

Anyway I am SICK of it and wish they would just support me and congratulate me. NOTICE some weight loss would be good (but hey its prob not showing yet...)

I seriously think they either expect me to fail or want me to.....
Cynical I know....

Any advice on how to handle this?
Rachel - mama of 2 boys (DS7 & 2)
SW 104kg
CW 97.5kg
Goal Weight: 65-68 kg
Working hard now! No room in my life now for half-hearted attempts!
Posts: 125
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:20 pm

Re: Supporters & Saboteurs...??

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:27 pm

There's not much advice I can offer, I'm afraid. If someone wants you to fail, or is waiting for you to fail, that's their issue and there's not much you can do about it. Just remember that the deliberate saboteurs are acting because they have their own deep-seated issues about weight.

Maybe talk to those closest to you and tell them that you need their support and would like words of encouragement. Sometimes people don't realise how important their comments can be. Some people avoid making any mention of weight, whether it's about loss or gain, because they fear people may be offended. After all, if I were to ask someone "Hey, did you lose weight?" that person could interpret that as being "Wow. You were fat before, but now at least you're not quite as fat!"

Maybe you could turn it into a fun activity. Ask your friends if they'll be on your 'cheer squad'. They can share words of encouragement with you, and you can share your weight loss successes with them.

Good luck! I hope you start getting more support from family and friends. I'm glad your DH is behind you 100%.

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Location: Melbourne

Re: Supporters & Saboteurs...??

Postby JacquiB » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:44 pm

5kgs in you should be really proud of yourself!
It would be nice if your friends supported you and it is a shame they dont but I guess weight loss in a way is a bit like smoking (well for me anyway) I used to smoke because everyone around me did and when I would try to stop it would be the same story from my friends "oh go on" "oh you"ll start again soon anyway so why not have one now" etc etc all to make them selves feel better! But then one day you say enough is enough and I want to look after myself and it's no one else's business - its hard to break the habbit initially with smoking but eventually your mates get used to you smoking and then no longer think to offer you one
Hopefully with food and your friends will oneday be like that - they will get so used to you making healthy food choices it will become the norm for them and they wont feel the need to comment and they will forget about offering you bad food or trying to get you to join in because they will know no that thats what you want to eat
I'll say it again - you should be really proud of yourself! Keep up the good work :)
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Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:23 pm

Re: Supporters & Saboteurs...??

Postby mum2james » Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:15 am

EvilWombatQueen wrote:There's not much advice I can offer, I'm afraid. If someone wants you to fail, or is waiting for you to fail, that's their issue and there's not much you can do about it. Just remember that the deliberate saboteurs are acting because they have their own deep-seated issues about weight.

So true!

My mum and sister (only family members I like :lol: ) are my support. They keep me on track. It was my birthday recently and my sister made me a cake from scratch, it was a WW recipe, low in points and tasted delicious! :D

However other members of my family are horrible. They know I don't touch certain foods (mainly because they make me sick because of my Bowel Disease.) but they still offer them to me. When I refuse, even though i've explained why I can't eat it some roll their eyes and tell me i'm being fussy. They aren't the ones that double over in intense stomach pain if they eat it though! :roll:
Stacey - 25 and mum to a beautiful 5 year old boy. :-)

Current weight: 76kg
Goal Weight: 70kg
Posts: 226
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:29 pm
Location: Brisbane, QLD

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