Thanks to everyone for helping me out - its really embarrassing, I make sure I never hold my arms up too high in case people can tell
It really isn't a way to live...
Anyway I'm going to outline what I'm doing at the moment:
I use the palm of my hand for measurements, with two young kids at home I find that this method is so much easier than weighing and counting points etc. I cook alot of different types of food, stir fry, grilled chicken (how delish is grilled cajun chicken!!)Indian, Lebanese - a palm of my hand for carb, protein and vegetable each. For dinner I cut out the carb and for my mid morning snack its fruit, yogurt or nuts and seeds.
For my exercise, I'm refusing to go to a gym - I've just spent sooo much money and something has always gotten in the way so far now I"m just sticking to plain walking, tho it gets pretty intense and I do build up a bit of a sweat. I have a lower back problems which are considered a major injury so the walking is okay, the treadmill & rower is a big no-no! I started three weeks ago at 12 mins and that was hard and am now doing 45mins quite easily! I started some resistance exercises this week too, some squats and push ups.
My biggest obstacle is myself, I have soo many negative thoughts going through my head
After spending so much money on weight watchers jenny craig and two separate gym memberships I really want to win this time....my weight is just getting in the way of my life!