well had a horrible night last night, which has still taken hold of my public holiday which is nearly at midday
I neeeded to eat a lot last night, (maybe pms munchines x 1000) so i tried convincing hubby to go to sizzler, we went, but it was packed. So we drove around and decided to have indian. Been ages since we have had that, see we LOVE indian!! So we got this meal pack, 2 curries (bhoona, and tika masala), 2 rice (only ate one), 2 papadums, 2 naans, and these weird chef's special stuff ha ha
I ate till i was about to explode! Gay!
Anyhoo, last night i hit a mega low. The kind that make you think that everything you do is just wasting your life away. I just wanted to sleep for ever. I felt i had no reason to be awake lol, i didnt understand why this was all happening.
I still feel like all i do is watch tv and go on the comp, when what i want to do is something worth doing. I want to make a difference, and atm my life seems to be based solely around myself.
I am not motivated to do anything at all.....and I am very down....this is how it use to be, when those thoughts use to arise. I use to be well i called it depressed, i use to hate myself and use to speak negativity into my life daily, and that is prolly why i had a very low feeling of self worth. But i got over that, thanks to my faith and my darling husband.
Sometimes things get too much for me and it all starts to overwhelm me....and i hate it, cos i will not go back to where i was.
I am feeling better today, just a bit down still about what to do with my life as i do not want to waste it any more, i want purpose, i want reason, i want to do something worth doing, every second of my life.
Thanks for hearing my put my thoughts to print.