Iv decided to start a new thread and just write every so often, like now.
But first I think I should say a little about me.
I am an inactive World of Warcraft Playing 19 Yr old. I live with my boyfriend andy and his family. We all eat quite badly and 3 in the house hold are struggling against the creeping kilograms.
My mum is a size 14 currently and going up she was a size 6-8 3 months ago and at her worst was in the 20's somewhere. I have always remebered my mum big and I will always remember telling her "no you arent fat and if you ask me again ill whack you one". When I was 7 about a year or so after Mum had her second child I came home from school to find her passed out on the loungeroom floor. This was when I first learnt about eating disorders. Im the next few years I found out that mum had been struggling with bullemia after her son was born and before that had always been anorexic. I now have a sever hatred for people who are large calling themselves fat and will get very angry and or annoyed when people say it to me.
My mum was married to a very evil man who was violent and emotionally domineering. He smoked marijuana as did my mum and we did not have much money because of it. A few times I started activities brownies,scouts,self defense, but each time he would ask me a million questions as to why I was doing it and would tell me it was costing him too much money when I finally did what he wanted and quit he would call me a quitter and tell me he didnt tell me to quit. He never worked (thus my hatred of dole bludgers)
Mum left him when i was 14 but when we got the internet when i was 13 i discovered chat rooms. I fell victim to several internet predators and for a while I felt beautiful and sexy. When i was 16 my main friend "jimmy" told me his real age and sent me a picture. I never spoke to him again. I Had a webcam and was unsurpervised in these chat rooms.
Last of all the Boyfriend befor this one was very judgemental and it was with him that i reached my tope weight and after whom i reached one of my lowest. This guy would tell me i was getting bigger here or there and in the end told me that he would not sleep with me anymore as I was not attractive to him. Shortly after he went to army training I started to lose weight with the help of a herbal detox and my mum. I gave him the flick when he told me that instead of following my dream and going overseas for a year I should be waiting at home for him.
Thus I became an Au Pair for 2 weeks of hell and quit. They kicked me out on the street the next morning. I did not have a return tickte as that was part of the deal with them I was not paid for this fortnight and had no where to go. I went to the gym I'd starting going to and worked myself silly and When i told a friend about my predicament he gave me a place to stay until I had other arrangments (It ended up as 1 night as my huuuuge family picked up their phones and found me a place to stay with my aunties auntie)
This man was my mums age I found out and was very very Gay. He Took me to my very first gay bar and got me drunk for the first time ever. I was still 17 at this time, nearly 18.
I stayed with my aunties aunt for 2 months and saw soo much of Holland and on the 3rd day with her she went off at me and made me realise how rude selfish and immature I had been (I had called my Mum in tears and upset her too). I grew to love the old lady and ended up looking after her when she had a car accidnet while i was there. On My 18th birthday she took me out for indonesian (she was indonesian and had been a POW in Japan) and when we got home told me to put some clothes on and do my hair and put on make up and go out. And I did I didnt pay for 1 drink that night and I made some awesome friends. I will NEVER forget my time in Holland and will go back one day to visit my friends.
Well Im sorry I wrote so much but I figure its best for people to hear the whole story, On the upside though I have a mum who loves me an andy who loves me (as does his family) and I have the best step-dad in the world, and I am starting to get a relationship going with my dad(not my mums ex-husband) who is an alcoholic.
Weigh in day and although i am at 88.3 still im sooooooo happy as i went out with friends last night and everyone at work bought me chocolates (they know). Went through 10 roses and 8 ferrero rochers before i knew it. I stuck to diet coke while i was out though.
In addition to this stable weight i have lost 6 cm 4 from my chest, which i can see as i hold weight on the top half of my back.
I hope you are still here and will read about my further progress.
20 month old twins and a breastfed bubba. Busy mama!
Starting this time at 99.5
Current weight 97.9