I suppose I will start at the start...
I have always had a struggle with weight, I was never the biggest kid in school, but I was nearly always chubby and never happy with myself. I gained a lot of weight in my early teens, then lost a lot when I was 15 and got down to a size 10 - 12, I was never really healthy though, and was on the verge of an eating disorder. Since then I haven't had a healthy relationship with food. Even though I was in the healthy weight range, I felt huge and never good enough. I look back at photos of myself from then and think I must have been mad - I looked great! I gained weight once again, when I finished my VCE and have been up and down ever since. Last year was where I reached my lowest point and highest weight, I broke my ankle in January 2007 and was not able to walk properly until Janurary of this year. I gained 20kg in less than a year! I had not thought it was that much, it wasn't all that obvious to me as I had barely left the house and lived in PJs and trackie dacks - don't get me wrong, I knew I had gained weight, but to find out it was 20kg was devastating. I was angry, not only had my injury cost me my job, my social life, my plans...it had changed my body forever, those stretch marks will never go away and I had a tough road ahead of me to lose the weight. But I know I can't blame anything or anyone for all of the weight gain, a fraction of it maybe, but in the end I was the one who ate and drank in an unhealthy manner...
Anyway, things have changed for the better! I am now actually eating and losing weight - which I never thought was possible! I have a much healthier relationship with food and feel confident that I can continue to do this. My partner is wonderful and supportive and has helped me through those dark times and let me know he loves me no matter what size I am, he just wants me to be happy. He is so encouraging and tells me almost everyday how much he can see my weightloss - he calls me his "shrinking honey". I now no longer want to be 'skinny', I want to look like a woman - not a 12 year old boy! Give me curvy and sexy anyday. My aim is now to be healthy and happy. I have been on this forum for almost three months now, and have lost over 8kg since joining (and being educated via Calorie King - lifesaver!) and I am down 14.6kg from my highest weight.
This forum is a wonderful place, and I don't know if I could do this without it! Thanks everybody!
