Round 2 !
I'm back and Im ready to go ! I've had my time to conquer and get myself sorted and re focussed. I have got my goals and am determined that nothing is going to stand in my way of achieving them. As of last Friday 9/5 I weighed in at 176.8kgs. This will be my new starting weight.
I had a massive reality check last night, I took myself to emergency due to really bad heart palpatations, pain in the side of my neck, pins & needles in my tongue and then the side of my face going numb. It was then that I realised that enough was enough and that I had to pick myself back up and not let any demons or situations get the better of me as they had.
In brief, my reasons for leaving was that I was trying to save my marriage. In summary, my attempts were futile, the future is looking grim. However .... on the other hand, I am aiming in achieving a long goal of mine this time next year ... I am going overseas !!! I was chatting to my "god" brother John - my mums god son and he said he is going back to Greece in a year. I jumped at the chance and told him I was in ! 4 weeks on the Greek Isles .... Hell Yea BABY !!!!
So in wrap up, I have a new chapter of my life waiting to be written and I'll be damned if I allow myself to be unhealthy and unhappy when I start writing it. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to live the life I've always wanted. I deserve to put myself first.
I made a new years resolution that 2008 was the year to nuture myself and get me back on track. Well half the year is gone and I've only made a 25% effort in keeping that resolution. Well, time to start putting in that other 75%. I have joined up for a 12month gym membership, I have my first PT session tomorrow, where I know Im going to get flogged, but Im ready. I am also buying a boxing stand and bags to keep myself active.
My struggles with Optifast are still there. However, I am going to shut up and put up. The dr's know what they are doing and wouldn't be jeopardising my health. Rome wasn't built in a day and I certainly have to pay for the wrong decisions that I have made over the last 29 years of my life. So if I have to be on optifast for a longer period of time. Then so be it. I will do this to teach myself and prove to myself that I can do it and that I WILL do it.
On a work note, I am still working 7 days. I've actually picked up a 3rd job now. So Im now working a 78hr week. I've had to pick up this job to set myself up for any decisions I make regarding my marriage. It won't be lasting for long 1 - 1.5yrs tops. I am in the 2nd week of this job and Im absolutely loving it. I have to get myself into a routine, where I can fit the gym in the mornings, before I head off to work. It will be tough but I will do it. After all it's only temporary.
So, enough of my babble. But ... before I do go, I just want to thank all those who sent PM's and kept in touch. Thank you for keeping me sane. I love you all dearly