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Feeling like I should just give up...

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Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby yellowroses » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:54 am

I feel like nothing is going right in this entire thing. I make goals, I try to keep them, but something always gets in the way. At the moment it's study. I've been stuck in my house for 4 days, studying pretty much non-stop. I'm behind on everything and I don't feel like I can go to the gym with my study the way that it is right now.

I hate looking in the mirror because I just see this giant fat disgusting person who is too lazy to make a change in her life. I feel like I've begun to make positive steps, like joining a gym. But I keep falling off the wagon. Every day I fall off. I'm ok until dinner time, at which point all food goes into the mouth. I don't want to be a 19 year old who weighs close to 130kg. I look at pictures of myself from a year ago and I just think oh my god, how did I put on close to 50kg in a year??? HOW??? If anything, my eating habits have become healthier! There is no medical reason...

I want a way out. I need a way out. But I don't know how. I feel like I'm trying so hard, but compared to some other people around here, my attempts are just pathetic.

I've been struggling with my weight all my life and this is the most I've ever weighed and the lowest I've ever thought of myself. I know that I can lose large amounts of weight - I lost 20kg about 3 years ago. But now I've got 67kg to lose. It seems impossible. Its more than half of my body weight that I need to lose just to be HEALTHY. I feel overwhelmed and there's little support in my life apart from this forum.

I want to blame everybody else for why I'm so big and I wish it was someone else's fault - but it's not. It's my fault and I really really hate myself for letting it get to this point.

Sorry for my rambling, but I had just started to cry when I began writing this so I wasn't thinking too clearly. Luckily I'm finished now.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
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Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
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I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby Cac33 » Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:06 am

Oh yellowroses I know what you mean, it can be so overwhelming at the best of times. What about if you made small goals, so instead of thinking I have to loose 67kgs you have to loose 10kgs then when you get to 10kgs you make a new goal. Seeing your ticker getting closer to the goal is such a motivator for me maybe it can be the same for you.

If study is taking over your life at the moment & don't get time to exercise as much set a goal of doing some small exercise plans in there. Like every time you get up to go to the loo run the length of your hall way 5 times & do 10 squats. This is just adding to your incidental exercise & it all counts. Just little things can make a huge difference.

Don't give up on yourself, your life is worth living & you deserve to be happy.
Cass

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SW: 108.3 (4Feb08)
CW: 96.1
GW: 70
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby Tarz » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:22 am

Yellowrose, you need to stay as positive as possible, i know it can be hard but as soon as you look at your weight with a defeatest attitude it becomes so much harder. Saty positive and it will be easier. Work out a timetable for each day to fit in the amount of study you need to do and try and put some gym time there in the middle of the study to break it up. The gym will help you clear your mind so that when you go back to studying you can concentrate again. The better you feel the better you'll study. If this isn't possible then add incedental exercise to all your bathroom visits, kitchen visits etc.
(assuming you live at home) does your mum know your trying to lose weight? Could you maybe buy some lean cuisine etc to have each night for dinner, that way each night you are having controlled pportions of healthy food, would save time for extra study as well.
Once you find the right mix i am sure you can do it. Do not give up
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby Shalimar » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:28 am

First I would like to say I'm not very good with comforting words so I won't say much :) .

Please don't give up, once you make a start and the weight starts to come off that will give you the incentive to keep going.

At the beginning of this year I had what seemed like a monumental task ahead of me, an impossible dream, I had 100kgs. to lose. Just the thought of it was depressing enough but to actually put my plan into action seemed worse.
7 months later 55 of that 100kgs. has been lost.
It can be done, but don't ever compare your losses to anyone elses because we all lose (and gain) differently.

Good luck and please don't give up.
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SW: 175.0 kgs.
CW: 62 kgs-Hit goal 12 September 2009.
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby Lexi_1987 » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:59 pm

Hi there,
I know it's hard. It's so incredibly hard. Balancing it all, i struggle. With uni, work as well as social commitments i really feel like i have no time for exercise. And night is my worst time too. :$ If you have msn feel free to add me [email protected] i'm on quite often so if you ever need someone to chat to just let me know. When i'm at home studying I take exercise breaks every 20 minutes. for 2 minutes and i fit in a few squats and lunges. :) Lol every little bit counts i guess?
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby yellowroses » Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:23 pm

Hi again all...

Thanks for your support - you're all so very very wonderful!! I'm glad I got to cry about what was getting me down, personally, I find that once I have a big cry and a whinge I get over it and just do it. And I have... well so far!

Yesterday, I decided that I would commit to doing any study at all, and just sleep late, go to the gym, watch some TV and stuff - and turns out that I felt so good and clear-headed that I ended up doing about 1/4 of my assignment last night! Yaya :)

I think I'm back on track, but I wont say it just yet just in case I jinx myself :p

Tarz - with the whole lean cuisine things I can't eat them because of my bowel condition, a lot of them have things in there that disagree with me. My husband is a feeder, he continuously overfeeds me, but luckily he's started going to school again and will soon have a job which means that I am in charge of food :D At least now I can make something for myself while everyone else has something else. Hehehe suckers :p

Thank you all for your kind words and helpful suggestions :D You're all so inspiring to me.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
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Posts: 630
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby curvygirl » Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:50 pm

Dont give up. You can do it. I know how you feel because I have felt that way for 2 years and did nothing about it. If I had made small changes and only lost 500grams per week I would be slim by now. Instead I blamed everyone else and wallowed in self pity. It is a big journey, but just make weekly goals and goals that you know you can acheive. You can do it and it will make you so much happier. The old cliche "Nothing tastes as good as slim feels." It is so true. Food is a momentary reward or comfort.
Good luck
Wendy
Need to get motivated.
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Mini Goal - 10 Kilos lost 14th May Acheived 2nd May, Yahoo
1st goal - 100kg 5th July
2nd goal - 90kg 4th October
3rd goal - 85kg 15th November
4th goal - 80kg 20th December
5th goal - 70kg 3rd June 2011
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby wilmawalrus » Fri Aug 15, 2008 4:00 pm

Hang in there!! I think you'll get yourself back on track. Small commitments will get you there in the end - you saw that for yourself with your study yesterday. The little goals become part of the big goal, and beating yourself up about not getting to the big goal doesn't help.

We're all here for you, we all understand how hard this journey is, and we know you can do it. :D

Hugs and smiles, Lisa xx
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Finished detox but staying on track - and it's paying off!!
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Re: Feeling like I should just give up...

Postby Shalimar » Fri Aug 15, 2008 5:53 pm

As the others have said, hang in there. I'm glad to see you have brightened up :D .
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SW: 175.0 kgs.
CW: 62 kgs-Hit goal 12 September 2009.
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