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Dealing with nastiness at work?

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Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby miss.librarian » Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:19 pm

Hi guys,

I am having trouble dealing with idiots at work. I have approx 30kgs to lose. Contrary to what they may think, I do know this. I am trying. I don't however, feel the need to talk to them about it. I don't want them knowing I am dieting, because if I do fall off the wagon and have a biscuit, I don't want to deal with their filthy looks.
In my office we do a thing called '10,000 steps'. It's an online thing where it encourages people to try and do at least 10,000 steps a day. I can do that easily in my day as I am up and walking around a lot for my job. You think this would be enough for them? NO.
They are all older ladies who I work with, and 2 in particular are really into this steps thing. Both lead active lives, and like to brag how they get up at 5am to go for a walk before work. They come into the office, telling anyone who will listen about how they've already done 15,000 steps and its not even 10am. Good for you.
They then login to this site where they can see the amount of steps I have done. We are doing some sort of challenge thing, so everyone else can see everyone else's stats. I forgot to put mine in some days, some days I don't wear a pedometer and some days, like maybe a lazy sunday, I really dont do many steps. The amount of steps I have done then becomes office discussion, as to why I am not up to the same amount as them. They focus this on another overweight woman in my office too.
I defend myself, but they don't seem to get that it's embarrassing and painful for me when they do this. I am at least a foot taller then most of them as well, so my steps are twice and long as theirs, therefore I wouldn't take as much. Point is, I shouldn't have to justify myself to them and this little competetion thing that is happening with it. ARGHHHHHHHHH.

Another thing is, they watch what everyone else eats like hawks. It's a competition to see who's got the healthiest or least amount of food for lunch. And ifg they don't see what you have, they question you..."oh so you had the pasta from the cafe did you..they sure do put a lot of cheese on it don't they?'

Anyone got any advice as to how I can deal with these people? Anyone else in a similar situation? I am banging my head on a wall here!!
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby electrongirl » Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:37 pm

I used to work in a call centre and I made the mistake of telling a couple of people I was doing Weight Watchers... OMG! EVERYDAY I had people inspecting my lunch. People would make comments about what I ate, was I exercising etc.

It got so bad that one day in the lunch room I went berko and told them to mind their own business and that they really should focus on more important things than if I am allowed to have tuna on my diet.

One of the managers was in the lunch room at the time and at the next team meeting we had there was mention of discrimination in the workplace of people of "bigger size".

They never did it again!!!

I suggest speaking to a manager about it. It borders on harassment if you ask me.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby mum2james » Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:01 pm

I would've told them where to go by now. :P

I'm a stay at home mum so I don't have anyone questioning what I eat for lunch but when I visit my family they always comment on what I eat and if i'm allowed it on WW. I just tell them I have enough points left (which I do).

I agree with electrongirl, talk to your manager about it because they have no right haressing you.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby yellowroses » Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:50 pm

If I were you I would stop participating in the online 10,000 steps challenge at your work, but still do them and keep track of them yourself. It's really noones business how much exercise you do and what you eat. If they comment on ANYTHING about what you eat, how much you exercise or your weight, tell them that it's none of their business. If things are extremely horrible and you don't feel you have to confidence to confront them without a manger or something present, perhaps look at mediation - where your work counsellor or your manager sits down with all of you and you express how you feel about what they are doing. Honestly, if you tell them that what they are doing hurts you and affects you to the point where you are upset and they still don't stop then you should have a discussion alone with the manager about their actions. There should be a discrimination clause in the contract that every one of you signed and they should adhere to it because it can be grounds for dismissal if it is causing problems amongst employees - theirs, not yours.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby milkyway » Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:24 pm

No matter their intention, it's harrassment. They need to be told this - not by you, but by a supervisor/manager.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby Alexandra » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:21 am

Yes, I agree, workplace bullying, plain and simple - it's illegal too. It's waaaay beyond nasty. You don't have to put up with that... :shock:
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby miss.librarian » Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:47 pm

Hey guys,

Thanks so much for your advice. I knew it was wrong, but you've made me realise just how bad it is. It was my first week back at work this week and one of the first subjects was the 10,000 steps thing. I've had a grandfather on his deathbed this week as well and a co-worker mentioned 10,000 steps and whether I was wearing my pedometer and I looked at her and said I had more important things to be worrying about then trying to find my pedometer and logging my steps. I felt good. We are almost finished this 'challenge' so after this one I am opting out.
Still sh*ts me to tears that I have to listen to it. Competitve old bags!
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby warriorsgirl » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:15 pm

I just wanna say, that I let my boss know what I was doing.... So now I get all the jobs where I have to deliver stuff and take things outside, she keeps commenting 'think of all the calories u'll burn'... Im not that lazy, but it gives me the shits that I hav to do the stupid jobs... hAHA
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby riotgirl » Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:47 pm

Actually... mine isn't as bad but it's quite similar. I need to lose weight because of health issues (but would also like to for appearance sake) and one of my friends in the office was also saying that she wanted to lose weight. Anyway, she said that she was going to go on to SureSlim but I had heard some bad stories about SureSlim where people just pile the weight back on and more so I told her I wanted to try and lose weight with healthy eating instead. Anyways, she has now lost 20+kg on SureSlim, looks terrific and I'm really happy for her.

However, I've noticed that she's always really secretive about the diet when I ask her but has brought the whole book and recipes for another friend. Also she always asks me what I'm having for lunch and whenever I bring in a small can of tuna and salad with dressing (Kraft), she tells me how much it stinks. Actually, whenever I bring in healthy food, she tells me how much it smells or that eating it the way I do (like philly cheese on multigrain) is 'wrong' and disgusting. I was really happy for her, but now I just feel annoyed when she constantly brags about how much weight she's lost and how none of her clothes fit her anymore.

I don't know why she's acting the way she is, but I think that she's trying to throw me off my goals which I find is really selfish. :S
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby Shalimar » Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:55 am

Its probably the lack of food getting to her riotgirl, SureSlim allows for around 800 cals a day. Not enough for long term sustainability.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby riotgirl » Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:18 pm

Still awesome to see quick weight loss. Heh.
Do you know if people tend to put the weight back on, on SureSlim?
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby Shalimar » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:25 pm

My cousin did it and she has gained 6 kilos in as many months.
I have heard that most people do see a gain and often more than they have lost in the first place.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby Fireball » Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:31 pm

miss.librarian it sounds like someone implemented a project with good intentions but it has gotten out of hand. Do keep in mind that the ladies who make the big fuss over it probably have low esteem and do that to make themselves feel better. That is no excuse to take it out on you. Consider pointing out to them that their behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable and if you havent already it would be good to talk with your Manager. You can let them know how you felt and whether or not staff have changed thier behaviou towrads you. Future versions of the program may be more "User friendly". It would be a shame if you couldn't be involved because of this experience if you would like to do it.
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Re: Dealing with nastiness at work?

Postby Akasha » Thu May 20, 2010 9:31 am

You are definately more patient then me
would have told them where to go ages ago

Definately harrasment - would tell a boss and let him know this step thing is one of the main things influencing the harrasment - they will have to stop it

Also who give a crap what those old bags think - they are just nervous that that they are old and dried up and really have nothing left in their life - where as you sound younger no doubt will be gorgeuos and confident with or without the weight and they cant stand that everything in their life is winding down when yours is just starting :lol:

So just let them stew in their regret and envy and you do what you want to do to feel fabulous in yourself :wink:
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