My name is Claire and i've been trying to lose weight for 3 years. Funny thing is i seem to keep putting it on instead of losing it... and now somehow i feel i've run 1000k's in the rong direction. I just can't seem to find the will power to stick to anything - I've tried everything from weight watchers to duromine, and i have to admit the duromine did help me shift 10 kilos... but now that i've come off it i've put 5 back on. Going back on the duromine is not an option for me and even though everyone is different i would not recommend it to anyone (If i had low self esteem before... its even lower now) i've heard from other people's experiences that this kind of support is really encouraging, helpful and motivating and that's just what i need right now and if i can help anyone else along the way by sharing my experiences, that's encouraging and motivating also. My boyfriend of 4 years works long shifts away on the mines, he's my best friend and my rock... not having him here makes things harder. Since putting on weight and losing my self esteem i've lost friends aswell. I choose to do things alone or with my boyfriend becasue i'm afraid of the way other people will judge me. I'm only 20 years old and i dont feel this is normal! I hide myself in baggy clothing and walk in shadows. Its so frustrating becuase i never used to be like this. I know its hurting my boyfriend to see me go from a happy beach loving bikini wearer who didn't care what anyone thought and was outgoing and in control to wearing my boyfriends clothes when i go swimming - if i have to go swimming and sitting at home watching movies wishing i could be the old me again becuase he knows how unhappy i am and he can't change it. I know only i can. I'd really like to shift some of this weight before he comes home in 4 weeks. I have mild obsessive compulsive disorder and this makes me feel like i even weaker because the need to switch everything off at the powerpoint, checking everything 12 times, turning taps off so tight that they sometimes break in my hands and worrying constantly and not being able to do anything about it - instead i try to hide it, takes up alot of my energy and patience. i've got 20kgs to lose before i'm at my healthy weight. I'm committing right this minute to try the hardest i've ever tried as i think i've reached the rock bottom point where i've had enough of procrastinating and doing things half heartedly. feels so good already having got that out in the open
Thanks for taking the time to read and i really look forward to reading any replies and making some new friends!