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So here I find myself

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So here I find myself

Postby ZeeBee » Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:32 pm

Hi Guys and Girls

New to the forum, coming in with mixed emotions. I have been down the weight loss road before, I lost about 35-40kg in 2006/2007. Started to regain mid 2008 and now here I find myself a whole wardrobe of clothes that don't fit, becoming increasingly unhappy and so beyond disappointed in myself I don't think I could ever truly be able to express it in words. <y goal weight is 80 kilo0s. My dream goal weight is 75 kilos. My lowest weight in the last three years is 86 kilos. It still astounds me I got so close to my goal, but not quite there! I am also 6ft2in. So very tall, hence why my goal weight may sound high!!

I guess my first road block I haven't yet been able to overcome is getting on the scales again. I have it in my mind that I am somewhere up around the 110kg mark. My heaviest ever I have weighed in at was just under 140kg. I think what scares me the most is if I get on the scales and its alot higher than I think. I have literally been trying to talk myself into 115kg being ok, but I am petrified it is going to higher than that. I guess I have joined this forum and started a thread so I feel accountable for my actions. I know exactly what I need to do and how to do it, I just can't break the mental barrier.

I am also in fear of the work. I have been there and done that. I know how hard it is. I don't know if I can do it again. It takes dedication and strength, and I don't know if I have it in me.

So here I am, I can't face the numbers but I need the numbers so I can get to work, and so progress can keep me motivated. I know I am going to be a blubbering mess when I see it. I vowed I would never get over 100kg again, and yet here I am.

Food Diary for today -

Speciak K Honey Almond, rev milk
2 Salada Biscuits
Small turkish bread, chicken snitz, lettuce cheese tomato
2 cinnamon donuts + 1 very small slice of chocolate cake (Birthday at work) (excuses!)
1/2 Chicken breast schnitzel and a packet of low fat 2 minute noodles for dinner
Low fat ice cream and strawberries for dessert
ZeeBee
 
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby Supasal » Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:41 pm

Welcome zeebee! I have been down a similar road as yourself, losing weight only to gain it all again several times. This time my highest weight is higher than I have ever been before. I look forward to sharing the journey with you. Good Luck!
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby Amethyst » Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:33 am

Welcome.

Though perhaps you should weigh your self because sometimes if you don't know where you are now, how can you get where you want to go. After all it's just a number it shouldn't be right to fear something like that.

Anyway I wish you all the best
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby ZeeBee » Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:58 pm

Amethyst wrote:Welcome.

Though perhaps you should weigh your self because sometimes if you don't know where you are now, how can you get where you want to go. After all it's just a number it shouldn't be right to fear something like that.

Anyway I wish you all the best



I like that train of thought, its just a number. Might drill that into myself before wednesday! wednesday = weigh in day!
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby ZeeBee » Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:22 pm

Ok

Average day, pretty boring really. Settling in for football waiting for the man to get here.

B - Speciak K honey almond
MT - Banana, apple, 2 premium crackers
L - 3 sushi rolls
S - 3 premium crackers
D - Chicken snitzel sandwich, no butter, free mayo, tomato relish and chips out of the oven
I will add dessert now to save me later, low fat ice cream sprinkled with milo!
Water - 600ml
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby sarahm » Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:15 pm

hi zeebee. your post is very touching and i hope you can use the forums to help you on your journey. i am always looking for new 'friends' on here to help and encourage each other -hope we can be useful to each other. best wishes. :)
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby ZeeBee » Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:28 pm

sarahm wrote:hi zeebee. your post is very touching and i hope you can use the forums to help you on your journey. i am always looking for new 'friends' on here to help and encourage each other -hope we can be useful to each other. best wishes. :)


Thanks Sarah!

Well tomorrow should be my weigh in day, I don't think I can do it! I might leave it till Saturday, that way I don't have to face work being miserable. Excuses excuses! Have been magaing what I eat a whole lot better. The weekend was quite good considering thats when I usually blow out. Had 2 home cooked meals, home made lunch instead of take away.

Yesterday went to the royal melbourne show. I had a strawberry dipped in chocolate on a stick, souvlaki for lunch, and scone and chocolate mousse for afternoon tea. Which is bad, but considering what was on offer. Seriously, the royal melbourne show has turned into a food fest! Really good day though, walked around for 9 odd hours so I hope I walked it off!
ZeeBee
 
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Re: So here I find myself

Postby curvygirl » Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:52 am

Zeebee get on the scales. As it has been said it is just a number and one that you need to see to start your journey. Take it from someone who knows. I have avoided the scales for 9 months and have gained 12 kilos. I knew I had put on weight because my clothes were getting too tight. If I had gotten on the scales and officially started my weight loss I would be closer to goal. You need to make a start point and go for it.
Good luck and you will find heaps of support here.
Need to get motivated.
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Mini Goal - 10 Kilos lost 14th May Acheived 2nd May, Yahoo
1st goal - 100kg 5th July
2nd goal - 90kg 4th October
3rd goal - 85kg 15th November
4th goal - 80kg 20th December
5th goal - 70kg 3rd June 2011
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