Honestly what is wrong with me?? Why am I so comfortable at being this weight (110kg)?????
I just don't understand myself sometimes, and I really need a huge kick up the ass - but who is going to do that for me other than myself???
I am so f'd up, I just can't understand or believe what I shove in my mouth, what I hide from everyone, flatmate, workmates, BF, Family and my closest friend!
OK - so I eat big meals, I love to cook, I love chocolate, I love bread, I love pastry, sausages, chicken, cauliflower, ice-cream, burritos, hot chips or wedges, madarins, nectarines, watermelon mmm blueberries on pancakes... and all that other stuff...
But I sometimes feel that no matter what I eat it's all just bad for me! I don't want a Personal Trainer to tell me I can't eat oranges b'cuz they are full of carbs, or watermelon b'cuz it's all sugar. I don't want them to tell me I HAVE TO eat 6 meals a day, sometimes that is not just possible, I am not that hungry and sometimes I am... Life is just f'd when it comes to food! No matter what I do I can't put the right thing in my mouth... I made sweet potato soup the other day with curry spices, then got told by a friend that it's just full of carbs and I really shouldn't be eating that, like WTF - it's home made, I know everything that I put in it!!!!!
I'm venting and venting a lot - I need to get to the reason why I can't seem to stick to any diet, or just leave chocolate alone for 2 weeks! I get a family block KitKat and it's gone in less than 10 minutes!
So what do I need to do.....
1. No more chocolate - I want to become alergic to it (in some sense) I'm just not touching it!
2. Eat a proper breakfast.
3. Eat morning and afternoon snack of a piece of fruit or tub of yoghurt!
4. Sandwhich for lunch full of salad and protein OR leftovers from dinner OR my yummy soup
5. No carbs at dinner, unless out for dinner.
6. I can have desser of a light choc mousse (thanks to NESTLE) BUT ONLY if I have gone to the gym that day.
7. Have a proper go at the Gym, at least 30min cardio
Id appreciate any of your comments, please, no matter how harsh.