Hello, Hello, Hello !
It has been quite a while since I was last here, so many new faces and lovely old ones to see
Alot has happened since I was last here, many highs and lows, many laughs and tears and unfortuneately many kilos gained .... again.
I started another thread, under a different handle - Unfulfilled Life as I was too embarrased and ashamed that I had put on all my weight and more from 2008. I recently asked a moderator to delete that thread for a couple of reasons but more importantly, I was not being true to myself and I should not have to feel ashamed. I've made mistakes, made poor choices and here I am.
On New Years Eve, I promised myself that I would seriously not make any NY Resolutions and I stuck to it. I joined the gym on NYE and signed up for my personal trainer ( which I've had two sessions with already). I had become desperate and my only way to right the wrong was to dive in, head first. On NYE, I weighed 211.5kgs.
2011 will be the year of many firsts for me, I will be starting my degree, meeting my wonderful man ( I am in a long distance relationship - 2 years in May !!! ), Which ofcourse leads to me travelling to The USA, overcoming my depression ( I have medical support ) and I am in the right head space to lose weight.
I started losing weight by myself and got back on the shakes - Optifast; only to realise that I could no longer do it, I felt ill, sick and yuk. So I joined weight watchers and am trying to get my head around Pro Points. How can I be on a whopping 68 points ? I don't know. I will have my first weigh in on Tuesday night, last week, I weighed in at 203.1 kgs. So I lost a fair bit by myself to kick start my weightloss.
I have been exercising a minimum of three times per week and will gradually build that up to 5 maybe 6 times per week. I have set myself a goal of losing 50kgs in 10 months. To some that may be alot and to a degree it is, however having all this excess weight, I am blessed ( ironically) that the weight falls and I mean falls off in the first 6 months. My PT has also advised me that 50kgs is very do-able given my circumstances. That goal will coincide with going overseas and meeting my man
And no, please don't worry, he is not superficial, he loves me for me, he has seen me at my heaviest and extremely supportive. He's quite fit and athletic, so I want to be able to match him and do things as a couple together, not be stuck at home because I can not do anything.
The journey this time around is all about Atonement. Making The Wrongs, Right. Ammending everything I have done and learning from it to help me, be the person I am and not allow my weight to hold me back. It's all about getting control of MY life and living it the way I should be, not settling because I have no other choice.