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50kgs to go >.<

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50kgs to go >.<

Postby jessmeow » Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:31 pm

Hi everyone,

I'm a bit of a newb here so I thought I do a little intro here in our dedicated board.
So far I've lost 23kgs! Go me! *dance* I've done so by going to the gym for 1 hr 5-6 times per week and eating healthy and calorie controled. It seems like such a huge success and yet I feel like I have so far to go! Double in fact >.<

I'm trying to think in smaller goals so it doesn't seem so increadibly scary and impossible! My goal at the moment is to be in double digits by june for my cousins wedding. I'll have to work pretty hard over the next 18 weeks but I'm trying to take it one week at a time! Sometimes one day at a time! I didn't have anything naughty today for example, however I didn't go to the gym because I hurt my back. It really peeved me off actually that I couldn't go. At the moment I don't even know how well I'll do tomorrow because it's still a little stiff. Grr :x

For me weight has been a battle literally my whole life. I was put on my first diet (by a dr) when I was 4 years old and it's been one after the other since then. The most weight I have ever lost on a diet (before now) was 5 measly kilos :( . This time, however it has been compeltely different. My aunty has lost over 53kgs in the last 18months and she is a HUGE (pun not intended :lol: ) inspiration for myself and my mum because she also battled her weight her whole life. She looks amazing! I don't think I would have come this far without her encouragment and support. I actually feel like I have hope for my skinny future and it isn't just the day dreams of a little fat pig.

I've always been on of those big people who let their weight literally control their lives and stop them enjoying what should be the best years. Some of you may have read elsewhere that I decided to defer university this year because of my weight. I really admire those big people out there who can just go through life without their weight effecting them!

I was actually planning to have some sort of weight loss surgery around june this year. I joined a medical fund last year for that exact purpose but instead I've used it to claim money back from my gym membership and it's the best thing I've ever done! I dont' think I'll ever forget how it felt (still feels) to walk in and feel like I'm not supposed to be there because gyms are for skinny people and how I think everyone is looking at me and judgeing me but surgery, for me, was to extreme. When I first went to the gym one evening with mum and my aunty to have a look at it and get a feel before we actually joined I cried all the way back to her house because of those feelings. But somehow I still convinced myself to go and I honestly have no idea how I did. Seriously! If anyone is thinking about joining but is worried for those reasons seriously, just go and do it! It helps to have someone to go with though. I still don't feel as comfortable if I go by myself (my mum and I go together each morning). Make it a small independant gym though. Not a scary huge intimidating one! (my cousin who is a sz 8 won't even go to them!! lol).

So that's my little story. Hopefully I can update you guys with my progress over the coming months getting towards double digits! I don't even remember the last time I was in them. Many many years that's for sure! I've actually made myself a little graph showing how much I need to loose each week to get to doubles by june and I'll write down my current weight each tuesday morning. Normally I don't keep a record of that kind of thing but because I want to loose a fair bit pretty quickly I need a progress report for myself. I'm going to buy some little star stickers to put on it when I get to each weekly goal! :P Maybe a frowny face if I don't lol!

.. I realised just now that I've lost my age in kilo's! Wow! That's really weird! lol

Anyhow, I hope nobody is bored to tears reading this :)
- jessmeow
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:57 pm

Re: 50kgs to go >.<

Postby jessmeow » Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:49 pm

Well delete the extreme positiveness of my last post because today was crappy. Feeling crappy, looking crappy, just crappy.

I feel like today I've taken a huge step backwards and ruined any chances of looking decent for my relo's upcoming wedding and all I did was have some chocolate. Drama queen? Yes. It's probably also because I haven't been to the gym since wednesday (not counting a fabulous 10 minutes total on thurs) because I hurt my back.

I'm peeved.

Looks like I won't be using any star stickers on my weight loss goal sheet just yet :evil:
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:57 pm

Re: 50kgs to go >.<

Postby äirly » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:03 pm

Not to worry Jess, unfortunately there are few who dont have a bumpy weight loss road - that only thing oyu can do is pick yourself up and keep going :D Good luck!

Oh, and this is a quote I really like to remind myself of, after I've had a day a bit like yours and need to bolster my spirits a little; "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow." Mary Anne Radmacher
HW: 84kgs (2011) got down to 67kgs (2012)
SW: 74kgs - (2013) post baby!
CW: 68kgs (Updated 6 May 2014)
GW: 62-64kgs (size 10)
Posts: 192
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:38 pm

Re: 50kgs to go >.<

Postby jessmeow » Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:45 pm

Thanks for the awesome quote! I will try to remember that.

Honestly I'm still not feeling it at the moment. I have moments of excitment to think what I'll look like in x many months but a large part of me just keeps focusing on the current yuck-ness. I'm even struggling at the gym because if I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the (STUPID) mirrors I just want to crawl into a hole and give up.

It's annoying that the visual of myself has to result in negative feelings not encouragement to continue and work harder. Gah
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:57 pm

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