I have just read your posts and I just want to say firstly, I admire your courage and I am inspired.
I too am on a mission to drop more of my weight to conceive. I have had 2 kids already, and put on stacks of weight with each (got up to 120kg, and I am short). I too have had some challenges with PND after both, a sad miscarriage in between, a husband with cancer (recovered thankfully) traumatic births and terrible troubles with anti-depression side-effects.
I have 4.5years bw by kids (7.5 & 3) and really want to try for another baby but like you guys, I dont want to be overweight pre-pregnancy and I cannot get an obstetrician's support with my BMI (I have high risk births sadly)
Due to my own emotional eating and other mental issues it has taken 3 years for me to now be under 100kg. It has been painfully slow process and I still want to drop another 30kg and I want to do it fast (!!!) I have just completed 3 months on healing from emotional eating program and I have finally realised that the only way I am going to get there is if I stop using food to avoid feeling my emotions fully. I also know that I need to accept the simple rule, if you eat more than you can burn off, you will put on weight. I have been in denial about that one
. I really want to get to a place where I am dropping a kilo a week! I have never been able to do that. I do a measly 300g ish a week or no change or gain. It is infuriating
I now track my food on a online site (& have the app on my phone: myfitnesspal). I find water activities work best for me as I can do them but I have also started a boot camp (just a group of women with a trainer) which is extremely challenging by giving results. I am trying to do a min of 3 sessions a week (30-50mins) and want to build up to 5 times.
I am not sharing my journey with others, becuase I figure if I tell people I want another baby they will judge/worry/criticise due to my size and my previous experiences. So its good to find others online.
Hope you are both going well
See you around