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Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

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Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby GoddessInside » Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:37 pm

WOW ! Where do I start ?!

Forgive me forum, for I have sinned, it has been 3 years since my last confession and boy do I have alot to confess !!

Wowzers, where do I start ?! When I left the forum back in 2011, I weighed 172kgs, had just separated from my second husband had met a wonderful man from the USA and I was trying to crack into the 160s. It was a very emotional roller coaster for me, I had been quite successful on Optifast for 6 months under the guidance from the Obesity Clinic at Westmead Hospital, but I was struggling with the mental journey of my weight loss. It was that mental struggle along with the complacency of being in a long distance relationship that led me to put all my weight back on and then some. I had initially started my journey at 208kgs an then ballooned out to 233.2kgs. FARRRRRRRK !

So I knew I had to do something, I never thought I was "THAT" big. I was on yet another health kick and trying to lose weight at 227kgs and dislocated my knee whilst working out ( oh the irony ), xrays, ct scans and MRIs confirmed my knee cap was 2cm dislocated and I required surgery to fix it. My surgeon did not want to perform a knee reconstruction as it would fail at the weight I was. So I had an arthroscopy and he fixed whatever he could .... 6 weeks later ... my knee relapsed on me and dislocated again, only 2mm this time but enough for me to become completely invalid and void of being able to look after myself, go to work, drive the works. I was petrified of losing my job, which was my everything.

My General Manager and Area Manager are two ladies that I owe so much gratitude and love and respect. They both supported me unconditionally and kept my job safe for me, even when my GM sent me home to rest for one fateful week in November 2012.
I sat at home on the first day sulking in my typical fashion ... oh poor me, why me, nobody loves you blahh blahh blahh .... the next day I woke up with the attitude of "right, what are we going to do about this" ... I contacted my superannuation and DHS to see if I qualified for an early release of my superannuation, it all appeared good and then I contacted SIOS - Sydney Institute for Obesity Surgery and spoke to a wonderful bariatric nurse by the name of Patricia ... she did a quick assessment over the phone and booked me in for the next day ... November 16th 2012 ... . That's where it all starts .... and ... what a whirlwind !

I get to the appointment on Nov. 16th an see, the bariatric nurse, GP and dietician ... I had my Gastric Surgery options discussed with me and put on optifast (again ... eeeek) . I was then booked in to see the surgeon 4 weeks later in mid December. That came around really fast and I saw him and decided to opt for the Gastric Sleeve and had my surgery booked in for March 8th 2013, under one condition, I had to lose 34kgs to have it done. 34kgs in 3 months are you freaking kidding me ?

I set off all determined and was nailing it, 2 weeks out from the surgery and I freaked out and went on an emotional eating bender and stuffed my face with McDonalds ... I was one week out crying to Patricia and begging the surgeon to still operate, he said not unless I get under 200kgs ... The day before my op, I weighed in at 201kgs, I called Patricia and after consultation with the surgeon they agreed for me to go to the hospital and he will assess then, but if I wasnt under 200kgs, more than likely he wouldnt operate because of the risks. So I went home and did something naughty ... I cheated and took a lasix 40mg (fluid tablet) and two laxatives ... now I do NOT condone this behaviour, but I was totally desperate and needed to get under 200kgs ... I get to the hospital the next morning ... jumped on their scales .....199.2kgs .... FARK YEAH !!!! 34kgs in 3 months ... What you got to say about that Doc ? huh ? Huh ? HUH ? LOL ....In the pre op room I flipped him the double birdie and I told him this is just the beginning he needs to watch for further great things ... He told me sheepishly he would have operate at 201kgs ... I could have jumped him, but he was way too cute LOL

So I had my Gastric Sleeve and everything went, well, ok ... with the exception I woke up on the table right at the end, as all my veins collapsed and the anaesthesia wore off ... now I saw why the doc wanted me to lose the weight before I got on the table, to reduce the risks ... thank goodness I did. Besides that ... Everything went beautifully ! It is a decision I do not regret that is for sure :)

Ok ... So this is the first part of the journey ... Its getting quite late, so I will update the second part tomorrow or by the weekend ... I will also promise to post pics too for you all to check out :)
SW: 233.2kgs - Nov 2012
SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
CW 141.2kgs
GW 132kg
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Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby GoddessInside » Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:51 pm

Ok ... so I worked out that the pic uploading is much easier than before ... so here are two before and during pics ...face shot and full body ... Just to give you an idea of what a 93.6kg loss looks like :)

Still a long "weigh" to go though !
Attachments
10285558_10152494727826057_332087227601507509_o.jpg
10285558_10152494727826057_332087227601507509_o.jpg (56.3 KiB) Viewed 1385 times
SW: 233.2kgs - Nov 2012
SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
CW 141.2kgs
GW 132kg
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Posts: 3040
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Location: Sydney

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby GoddessInside » Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:53 pm

Left: Size 44
Right: Size 24
Duration 18mths
Attachments
10442995_10152516573321057_1085610629496743816_n.jpg
10442995_10152516573321057_1085610629496743816_n.jpg (90.57 KiB) Viewed 1385 times
SW: 233.2kgs - Nov 2012
SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
CW 141.2kgs
GW 132kg
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Posts: 3040
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Location: Sydney

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby Blitz » Thu Jun 05, 2014 5:04 am

Thanks for sharing. :D

How are you finding the gastric sleeve? Did you find the "adjustment" period hard? I've read a few people's stories about it who found the whole process very difficult, scary and expensive! Love to hear your experience of that part of the journey. How's the knee now?

Love seeing before and after photos. If you think your change is amazing you just wait for the last 10 kilos of your journey. The body kicks in big time then! You will be staring in the mirror trying to figure who this stranger with your eyes is! 8)

You are absolutely right. Mental struggle is what it is all about. Food and exercise part is easy compared to the real battle - getting that head in the right place.

I also related to the part when you wrote:
I never thought I was "THAT" big.

It is a shock when we finally hit the scales and the stark number stares back at us! Yes we knew we were big but not... :oops:

Here's a question I have a burning desire to ask you Helen...if you don't mind me asking (tell me to rack off if you want)...how are you dealing with the problem of loose skin? Emotionally and practically?

Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby JP1 » Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:47 am

Part 2 please..
8)
Highs : 107 Kg (24 Sept 2007) : 113.5 Kg (12 Jan 2014) : 112.5 Kg (26 Jan 2016)
Current :99.2 Kg (31 May 2016)
Lows : 78.4 Kg (20 May 2008) : 87.4 Kg (on 16 Dec in both 2009 & 2010) : 82.9 Kg (14 Apr 2011) : 87.1 Kg (4 Jul 2011) : 90.5 Kg (14 Jul 2014)
Target : 94 Kgs by 15th Jul
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Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby DD Diva » Sun Jun 08, 2014 9:25 am

What a fantastic (and inspirational) story Goddess, thank you for sharing it. Your "before" and "after" photos are a true testament to your hard work; you look great; well done!!!! :wink:

Can't wait to read the next chapter of your journey!! :D
DD Diva
 

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby GoddessInside » Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:27 pm

Sorry guys but Im out. Can my thread please be locked or deleted. I no longer wish to participate in this forum.
SW: 233.2kgs - Nov 2012
SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
CW 141.2kgs
GW 132kg
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Posts: 3040
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Location: Sydney

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby Blitz » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:00 am

I'm sorry you feel this way. Can't you reconsider?...we love to have you here with us on this journey. :cry:

Regards
Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby DD Diva » Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:48 pm

GoddessInside wrote:Sorry guys but Im out. Can my thread please be locked or deleted. I no longer wish to participate in this forum.

Wow!!! :shock: That's pretty harshly put Goddess!!
I don't understand, why if you wanted to bow out from participating in this forum, you didn't just stay away? Instead you opted for melodrama and an insensitive announcement that was in its tone borderline offensive. To be honest, that sort of behaviour displays an attitude that isn't healthy in a place where support and nurturing (of each other) is crucial if people are to make it through the very difficult journey in their lives, and so don't need you here!!!
Though I am really sorry you felt it necessary to make such pointed comment, I do hope (for your own well being) that whatever has upset you, you can find it in your heart to rise above the pain and be happy.
All the best to you Goddess.
DD Diva
 

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby GoddessInside » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:08 pm

How is it offensive if I am chosing to have my thread locked or deleted through my choice of no longer participating ?

I was respectfully asking admin to do so, so that no one posts on my thread and I am not around to post or answer their questions or respond to their comments.

I dont find that dramatic, I find it considerate actually. It is your response, in MY thread I might add, that has caused the drama. As you can see by the number of my posts, I was an extremely active member of this forum and I am well aware of forum etiquette.

I did not intend to offend anyone.
SW: 233.2kgs - Nov 2012
SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
CW 141.2kgs
GW 132kg
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Posts: 3040
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:53 pm
Location: Sydney

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby DD Diva » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:13 pm

GoddessInside wrote:How is it offensive if I am chosing to have my thread locked or deleted through my choice of no longer participating ?

I was respectfully asking admin to do so, so that no one posts on my thread and I am not around to post or answer their questions or respond to their comments.

I dont find that dramatic, I find it considerate actually. It is your response, in MY thread I might add, that has caused the drama. As you can see by the number of my posts, I was an extremely active member of this forum and I am well aware of forum etiquette.

I did not intend to offend anyone.

My apologies if I sounded disrespectful or offensive; that was not my intention. And perhaps yours wasn't either; I took it that way because you could have PMed admin privately and not made it sound like someone here had upset you.
I confess, I didn't (and still don't) like your tone, but unfortunately that's the reality of written medium (absence of emotion).
Nevertheless, I wish you well and I'm sorry you feel that you can't stay; you will be missed.
DD Diva
 

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby Blitz » Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:01 pm

Josie, I think the last point is the one we should all step back and contemplate.

Many a cyber-war started because of a mis-reading between the lines. I've been around since the days of news groups...and those places could get very rough and horrid (no moderators). Keeping it friendly is one of the things I always worry about specially when I'm questioning or being a bit critical about someone's approach to their weight loss. That is why I use so many smilie icons a lot and try to broaden it by using words like "we" or talk about my very own experiences.

Sometimes that approach doesn't work well for me...I know of at least one poster who really found me irritating and ordered me not to respond to her posts! Unfortunately, I had to point out to her that this is a public forum and while she had a right not to respond to me etc...I still had a right to post as I liked (for the benefit of others) so long as I kept to the forum guidelines.

We don't know what's happening in Helen's life at the moment. Weight loss can be a very hard road (we all know that from bitter experience!)...let's give her the space to do as she wishes. It is regrettable for sure. Helen has a lot to offer a place like this - and the forum's people have a lot to offer her in return. Maybe, just maybe she might change her mind and one day return. I hope so...for her sake and ours. 8)

In the meantime I will do what I can (pray) and let my God have his will in the matter.

Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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Blitz
 
Posts: 3337
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:05 pm
Location: Perth WA

Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby ganymede » Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:32 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that, Helen. Whilst I'm not sure what happened to change your mind (as I've been popping in and out randomly of late), I can see that something has transpired on the forum. I won't make any judgement, I don't know what your reasons are and I have left in the past (very recently in fact) due to some non-weight loss related circumstances.

I really hope you do come back soon though as I feel your story is very inspirational and myself and many others here can definitely learn a lot from you. All the best on your journey and hope to see you soon :)
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby tinkerbella » Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:51 am

come back Goddess Inside,
you are extremely inspirational..
START WEIGHT 98
11/08/15........80
GOAL WEIGHT.81
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Re: Goddess Inside: The butterfly emerging

Postby JP1 » Sun Jul 06, 2014 6:14 pm

tinkerbella wrote:come back Goddess Inside,
you are extremely inspirational..

x2
Highs : 107 Kg (24 Sept 2007) : 113.5 Kg (12 Jan 2014) : 112.5 Kg (26 Jan 2016)
Current :99.2 Kg (31 May 2016)
Lows : 78.4 Kg (20 May 2008) : 87.4 Kg (on 16 Dec in both 2009 & 2010) : 82.9 Kg (14 Apr 2011) : 87.1 Kg (4 Jul 2011) : 90.5 Kg (14 Jul 2014)
Target : 94 Kgs by 15th Jul
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JP1
 
Posts: 3826
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:31 pm
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland

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