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Sarah's new home

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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:41 am

Argh, I know, I am terrified!!! And even worse since I can't eat! I am sure I will faint! Maybe I'll just wait till next week, or the week after.... :roll:

Don't think I have a prob with getting enough food - I generally get in 1500 to 2000 cals a day. I hate to say but I think well over 50% of that is from protein. I could be OD'ing on protein! I have a horrible, horrible feeling that the weight gain could be due to excercising too much, and having such a large calorie deficit for such a long time (although I do change it up from day to day, dunno if that helps). If that turns out to be the case then I fear I may be up sh*t creek without a paddle.... no idea how to fix that :( :cry:

Vanessa :D I think I am in the running to be one of Vanessa's biggest fans. I lost count of how many of her concerts I have attended after about 35, so I would have a guess and say at least 45 concerts since about 1999 :oops: Oh dear. It's absolutely impossible for me to be anywhere else should there be a concert within any reasonable distance of me!! I generally show up about 4 hours ahead of time, stake out the door, then as soon as it opens race to the front and hold my spot at the front of the stage until such time.... long wait!!! But it's worth it :D

What's your business, San? Sounds like a very busy schedule!
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:59 pm

This is going to sound like a silly question, but is your doctor aware that you're doing low-carb? Since 50% of your calories come from protein, could it be that your kidneys are having issues with the excess protein and that's causing you to retain water and swell up?
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:02 pm

Yep, I mentioned that I eat low-carb. I think the blood test will check kidney function... I think (and that's if I don't chicken out!!). Haven't heard of that happening, with the protein though - where did you hear that from? I might need to do some investigating..

My other thought was low electrolytes. Because I drink so much, and having a low-carb diet, I pee a lot. Plus I sweat bucketloads as well. So, maybe I'll gulp down a few electrolyte drinks or gastrolyte before the test hehehe. That would defeat the purpose though :|
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Fri Jul 04, 2008 10:36 pm

I think severe fluid retention only happens in cases of acute kidney failure. And trust me, I'm sure that you'd know something was severely wrong beyond gaining a few kilos if that were the case! Kidneys only really had problems with excess protein if you have pre-existing kidney problems. It's so unlikely to be the cause in this instance that I was hesitant in even mentioning it. I just wanted to make sure you'd mentioned your low-carb diet to the doctor just on the odd chance it has something to do with your weight gain, and the even less likely chance that you could have kidney problems. Since you've already mentioned it to him then you're in safe hands.

Good luck with the blood test. And don't take a sports drink beforehand! You're right that it would rather defeat the purpose of the test! :lol:
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Sat Jul 05, 2008 1:17 pm

I chickened out! Might go on Monday as I'm staying at my parents' place tomorrow night, so my mum will come along and hold my hand :roll: I am a sook!

I just hope that they FIND something and that they are able to DO something about it!! Otherwise it will be a royal waste of time!

You would think with today's modern technology they could find these things out without needles.. couldn't they just use a whiz-bang scanner to detect things remotely.... :|

Or at least offer a general anaesthetic!
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby milkyway » Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:33 pm

Hi Sarah - did you brave a visit to get your blood test yet?

How were the Vanessa concerts? Hope you had a good time.

Any good news re the scales?
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:44 pm

Hi Sandra. No, haven't had the blood test yet :oops: :oops: I'm thinking of giving it a miss. The fasting thing has gotten to me as well.... don't think I could do it :(

Vanessa is on Friday! I'm flying to Sydney after work to see her, then flying back the next morning. Then, 4 days straight the following week - Thursday in Traralgon, Friday in Doncaster, Saturday in Ferntree Gully and Sunday in Hallam. Not thinking about petrol prices!!! :shock:

Haven't weighed myself yet. Had a sneak peek mid-week and saw 53.5kg, that ruined my day!! It's just too upsetting at the moment it really is. I'm feeling good at the moment, not binging and getting through a bit of excercise, so might leave it at that.
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:41 am

I'm about ready to give up. I've had the worst day ever, spent the whole day at work just sitting in my chair just feeling so uncomfortable, like a blown-up balloon :cry: A few times I got so upset over it that I was in tears in the bathroom. I'm wearing the biggest clothes in my wardrobe, and they still feel too tight :cry: I skipped the gym and came home feeling so sick that I couldn't eat dinner. Went to sleep at about 7:30pm, woke up at about 10:30pm and have been up eating ever since. I don't know what is wrong with me!!! I feel like I'm stuck in my ultimate nightmare, getting bigger and bigger and there's nothing I can do about it :( I keep hoping that I'll wake up and realise this has all just been a bad dream, and I'll be back to the way I was... and happy!!!

I am this close to calling up a clinic that does liposuction. I know I'm going to get canned for saying this on here... but I just can't see any other way out at the moment. Plus it will give me at least a week off work sick, so maybe a chance to get my head sorted and figure out why I can't stop eating, why everything I have ever tried has failed :cry:
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby shelbel » Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:56 pm

Sarah your sounding pretty desperate there, how are you feeling today, did you sleep much last night?? Sometimes it can feel so all consuming and i know how it feels to want to be slimmer RIGHT NOW, but losing weight isnt going to make you any happier then you already are, yes its one less thing to worry about, but in the end, it shouldnt be the way you define yourself.

Maybe you do need to take a day off and do something that makes you happy and can help you relax, like a facial or massage or stay in bed with a good book.

I hope you feel better today, and look after yourself!!
Highest Weight - 93kgs
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The wise man Stephen King once said - The only way to go on, is to go on. To say 'i can do this' even when you know you cant

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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:41 pm

Hi Shel! Yep, I am feeling pretty desperate. I guess after gaining basically 4kg in under 4 weeks you get that way. Particularly when I can't see the weight ever shifting now it's here. Each time I have a gain it gets harder and harder to lose it, so I'm jsut really scared that it will be permanent this time :(

It's strange to say, but I honestly beleive that getting rid of this fat WILL make me happier *ducks for cover*. Two very good reasons why I beleive this:
1. I've been there before (48.1kg in Feb 06) and it was fantastic!!!!!! I loved it, I was busting with confidence, work was getting done, things were being acheived, I didn't hate myself or my body. I felt like I didn't even HAVE a body!!
2. Getting things done and making achievements is what keeps me going and makes me feel like my life is worthwile. When I have excess fat, I hate myself, I'm depressed, and I just cannot achieve anything. So, in a roundabout way, being happy with my body allows me to create meaning in my life. Being thin, just on it's own, does not create meaning. Dunno if this makes sense???

It's not the lack of fat itself, it's what it means to me and what it allows me to create in my life...

Nah didn't get any sleep last night. Tonnes this morning though, I woke up at 9am!!! Ooops meant to start work 8am. Called in sick hahaha.

I made a pretty damn good carrot cake this morning. Just posted it in the recipes section :D

Now, off walking to Safeway to buy back all that I ate in last night's binge :roll: Luckily it's a sunny day!

You know the bad bit about working for council, living in the local area and being sick?? I'm marooned in my house!! I work in the same area as all the outdoor crews.... so whenever a ute or a truck goes past with the council logo on the side, 99.9% chance that the driver knows me. I'm surrounded :shock:
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby milkyway » Sun Jul 20, 2008 12:25 pm

Hey Sarah - how are you feeling today chickie? I'm really worried about you after reading your last 2 posts :(

I think your self image is so wrapped up in your body image you can't step back and see all the wonderful qualities about yourself that have nothing to do with your weight. You are the same person at 48kg as you are at 100kg or anything above or in between and we love that Sarah :)

I really believe you can create meaning in your life regardless of the weight you're at - it's all about perspective.

Hopefully you'll have a good weekend, seeing Vanessa and stuff. Let us know how you're going, hun.

San x
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CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:26 am

Hi San, thanks for that. Nothing new to report unfortunately, still all blown up like a balloon! I thought to weight in this morning, that was a mistake! No change whatsoever, still stuck on 53.5kg. Measurements, body fat, everything still the same. My clothes are as tight as ever... I'm wearing the same disgusting outfit over and over again, it's going to start walking around on it's own soon!

I missed out on the concert on Friday as well. I had a flight booked to Sydney, arrived at the airport to find the flight was cancelled! I had them put me on standby for the next flight, but that ended up being delayed, which meant that I would have missed half the concert. So, I had to get a refund of my airfare and go back home :( All that effort for nothing :x
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby sassi » Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:29 am

sorry you missed the concert sarah - how frustrating :(

at least you get to see her this week :D
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby SarahC » Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:18 pm

I know! And disappointing :( Looking forward to this week's concerts. It's going to be a marathon effort that's for sure. I'm planning out all my food at the moment, went shopping today and will be cooking tonight. I am sure most people just pack up and go, then think about food later as an afterthought. Not sure if all this planning, cooking and packing of food is a blessing or a curse :?
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Re: Sarah's new home

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:25 pm

Sorry you missed the concert. What an absolute bugger!

Have you had your blood tests yet? I know you hate needles, but if it solves the riddle of your recent weight gain wouldn't it be worth it?
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