, (you may want to make yourself a cuppa, its a bit of a long one
I didnt end up dropping my calories yesterday, as by the afternoon I was getting hungry again but I did stick to my normal 1590, I put it down to not eating anywhere near as much as I thought I would at Matts party so I guess thats a good thing really. As you know though I did stick to 1200 cals on Friday. I dont know if it makes much difference (hubby says it wouldnt, but it makes a lot of difference to my head
), but its how I do things and if it makes me feel better about it why not?
Why do you think you sabotage yourself? I dont mean it in a funny way or anything and I have read of people who for some reason think that maybe deep down they dont want to or are scared of getting their weight down but I found the closer I got the more determined I became. I cant work it out really and Im still struggling to work it out. I have always said there is so much more to losing weight than just resisting temptations of the food kind and the head battles are far, far harder than the food battles.
Maybe it really is more of a psychological thing than a food thing.
As dumb as it sounds I have had so many people tell me how thin I look yet I cant say it about myself, I can say that I look thinner than what I was but I cant say that I look thin, yet everything in my life these days says that I am thin, my clothes, the scales, peoples comments yet I cant say it about myself.
A while back I bought some new bras and the girl at the checkout commented on how I was the same size bra as she was (12b for the record
) yet there was no way I would have even contemplated being the same size as her, she looked way smaller than me.
So I dont think I have dealt with the psychologicalside of things and am wondering if I ever will. Maybe it will come in time but I would have thought by now something may have clicked.
There was a time a couple of months back I was trying a top on in the fitting rooms and I burst into tears when I caught a sideways glance at myself, I couldnt believe how thin I looked. I thought then that maybe things where starting to click and that I had finally started to accept that I was different to what I used to be but they and I havent. Maybe I am just getting more critical of myself than I used to be. Or maybe I just think too much and need to get over myself.
Lordy, what a long winded waffle
We all had a ball at Matts party, it was the most smoothest running party we have ever had. The kids were all well behaved, he had 3 school friends sleep over, there was no mess, food wastage was kept to an absolute minimum (something I am obsessively compulsive about, I abhor food wastage), everyone showed up, everyone had enough to eat and there was barely any left overs and what was left over could be frozen. So all in all a great night.
Little monkey is richer than me right now, he ended up with $250 worth of cash and gift vouchers from grandparents and friend and rellies so he did very well. Thank you for asking
This has to be my longest post in ages if not ever
Anyway I need to think about getting some vegies in, we only have a small fridge and there wasnt any room for normal food with all the party stuff in there so now it has emptied out I need to hit the shops.
Have a great week and hopefully this week will bring you a loss of the weight variety.
Have a good one, Sue (and sorry for the waffle)