Shelley's Countdown

[Fiona25]

Sounds like you had a great weekend hun

You deserve treats now and then and i'm sure your hard work until the weekend will repair all damage.

[HappyBella55]

Shelley

Just stopping bye to see how you are doing chickie?

Sounds like you had a blissful weekend getaway.

Keep well chickie babe

Oh yeah - how's the boys cutting down on cigarettes going? I used to socially smoke (as you do ) and really didn't like them. The stupid things we do

Have a great weekend, Mwah Bella.

[shelbel]

Im STILL in a weightloss rut! I just cant seem to get it together and get back on track. Ive put on 900g in the last 2 weeks by going over my points and binging here and there. Add to this the run in i had with a packet of liquorice bullets today (i won) and the packet of m&m's i brought (for round 2) and it seems i can no longer be trusted to enter a supermarket and behave like a normal person. I know how to do this, i know i can do this, the theory of weightloss is so easy, but damn the mental side of it is so hard sometimes. I dont know maybe its just me, im self sabotaging myself, like i have every other time ive lost weight. I think too counting every little thing i put in my mouth is driving me insane.

Ok calm....deep breathes...chill out!!! Pick it up next meal, no make that tomorrow, im going out for dinner and drinks See i always have a excuse!

Feel free to dish out some tough love! I think im beyond saying its ok!

[HappyBella55]

No though love from me darl, just some practical advice

It seems never ending huh? The constant calorie/point counting and we all know the simple formula to lose the weight. Unfortunately, there's one big mother arse stop sign that prevents us from going further to achieve our goal sooner: OUR MINDS. This stop sign is shadowed by thoughts and emotions. The former conjuring up the later.

I'm reading this fantastic book by Mary T Browne (she's a Psychic and a spiritual counselor) called "The 5 rules of Thought". It is about using the power of your mind to overcome obstacles and achieve great success. I have found myself having light bulb moments and agreeing with a lot of what she has written. A book well worth reading if you believe in the power of thought (not everyone's cup of tea). Anyhow, she talks about how emotion is a switch, it is the thought that powers the emotion - whether this be a positive or negative thought, it is what conjures up that emotion; and how on we have the power to turn that switch "ON or OFF". She further goes on to explain that we can have thoughts that become self consumed which hang around and plague us. For instance, we have the desire to lose this weight, we do everything in our power to achieve that (diet and exercise) but at times we neglect the power of thought. The mind is biggest weight loss tool and if we don't align our thoughts and us the power of thought we will constantly face hardships in achieving our goals.

Browne argues this:

"You think intensely about these foods even though you are disciplining yourself not to eat them. This intensity produces a distinct type of thought form known as "hanging" thought form. It is called hanging because it persists as long as you have the desire for something. You created a form that hangs over you even if you focus your mind on other matters. As soon as your mind is free, the hanging thought form will become apparent again. You will have an overwhelming urge to consume the foods you were trying to avoid. You will go to the bakery, buy a cake, and eat it, even if you are not hungry. You will call this temptation, but in fact you created this yourself. Nobody tempted you. You were the one who created this thought form. Strong thoughts always manifest. Therefore, it can be very difficult to stay on a diet. A clear thought, visualised and repeated will manifest itself in the physical world"

My interpretation of this paragraph is this: because we have labeled certain foods as BAD/DO NOT EAT ON WHATEVER TERMS we are programing ourselves (unconsciously) to want that food. And when we attach that food to a negative forming emotion it causes destruction. So in a sense it is controlling you, your emotions are going out of control and you are finding it hard to resist the power of that thought, it becomes difficult to concentrate and things become chaotic and we just feel out of control, hence wanting that binge and falling of the wagon.

Shel hun, your probably wondering were I'm going with this long winded babble but I'm coming to that . From what you've written, you are getting disheartened with the constant point counting. You've been trooping along fantastically, to achieve fabulous results and you know what you have to do and you've pin pointed the culprit. Self Sabotage. Because you've become disheartened with the point counting and the strong, overwhelming emotions are taking root in your thought process which are causing you to want to consuming the "NO, No, BAD food". You are know thinking "I'm on a diet, I have to lose this weight so I can't eat this food". You have unresolved situations in your life and you turn to what is a constant and feel out of control about it (I know I do this, which is hard to overcome but is doable, or so I'm programing myself to do )

Also because you have programed the thought "failure" into your subconscious you are programing yourself to do this. Ask yourself this: have you come this far in the past? Why do you want it and what is REALLY stopping you form achieving your success? Don't look at this as a diet to attain the visual goal you want. Look at this as a life style change, so if you want that packet of M&M's have a small one, include it in your points and don't feel guilty about it. This guilt is fueling those hanging on emotions. Visualise yourself looking gawd damn sexy and hot SEE IT, FEEL IT and most of all BELIEVE IT. Because you will get there.

This is just a little bump in the road, a hurdle to overcome and I believe that you believe, YOU my beauty have the will to overcome this. You will ultimately get there hun.

And if the point counting is doing your head in stop for a while. You know what are good point foods and what are not so good point foods (which are allowable and good to have every know and then), how much you should eat and portion sizing by now. Just write down what you eat but don't count the points, I bet you'll surprise yourself that you CAN DO THIS without having to count points.

You have come so far hun and will go further, just watch this space....

[lng86]

Wow Bella!!! Very impressive.

Shel, you have come so very far. Realise all you have achieved firstly!!!

I find that treating myself once a week is extremely helpful. That way I don't feel like I'm missing out - and have something to look forward to. Would that work for you?

Our mind plays tricks on us all the time... We need to start playing tricks on our mind!

You're brilliant! You really are.

-Lauren.

[shelbel]

Bella baby, where would i be without you to calm me down??!! I was in tears when i read that. Thank you so much for taking the time to try and help me like this Bel. I really dont know how i got to this point. I so know what your saying about how the more you try not to think about certain foods, the more you want them, this is what has been happening to me, i think of chocolate/chips/cakes or whatever until it becomes an obsession and i cant think of anything else. Ive never really experienced this to this degree before so not sure what to do about it. I think i need a trip to the self help section of the bookstore. I do completely believe in the power of positive thoughts, i just gotta break the cycles to find my way again. Ive never made it this far in losing weight before, im currently the lowest weight ive ever been in my adult life and the thought of putting on weight again scares the beegeezus out of me. I dont know, i gotta find my mojo again!

Ive been thinking about it all alot in the last few days and ive decided to take abit of a break from my current weightloss attempt. Im tired of the scales, counting points and the guilt i inflict on myself when i eat 'bad foods' or eat to excess. I just need to sort out a few things behind the scenes, my head no longer feels in the right space to do this. Who knows i could be fighting fit this time next week, or it may take a little longer. I'll still be floating around the forum and dishing out encouragement and advice where i think i can be useful, but im just not going to compete in challenges or write about weightloss in my progress page. Im going to try to stop daily weighing too, but i doubt i'll be able to give that up!! I'll think about the ticker situation later.

Also been thinking about going to jenny craig, ive used it before in previous weighlosses and found it easy and stress free!! I can just eat whatever the program tells me to eat next and i think maybe it would stop some of the constant food thoughts to a degree as i wouldnt have to think about things like what to have for dinner or lunch etc. I dont know, i'll figure it out in time.

[Rustie]

To my dearest Shelley,
Anytime you wish to talk just send me a message bub, I know how you feel with the weightloss but you have done so very well sweetie!
I look up to you for motivation and guidence and you help me so very much. Oh and dont forget that Annie loves you lots too. Think you will be Aunty Shelley before you know it.
Take time to reflect on your journey so far and just take a break.Taking time off doesnt mean that you will necessarily stack it all back on again. I wouldnt let you do that anyway!
Catch you on the weekend. Hope we can talk a bit more then on Sunday with the bowling. It was a fun day though.

XX

[HappyBella55]

Shel, you're such a beautiful gal. When I read your initial post it screamed at me. I can't take a walk in your shoes but I do know how those emotions play on ya. I'm a stress bucket and I use food as a solace. I am slowly changing my need to medicate myself with food. I now look at it this way: stressful times is no justification or excuse for me to stuff myself to oblivion (which I used to do). I am not going to lie, it is bl**dy hard to change a habit that has formed over time.

The scientific side of losing weight is so easy. The emotional side of losing weight is hard. The more you lose the more emotions come to surface. I like Lauren's analogy of weight loss - the unpeeling of an onion, with each layer you remove, something new to discover and deal with. And that's the crux of our self sabotage. With new discoveries, we become scared and when we become scared, we want to revert to old habits

Yep, I have 110% faith in you that you will find your mojo again. You won't stack on all the weight you've lost overnight; and I know, that you know deep down in your heart you won't unravel all the heard work you have done to get back to the weight you used to be.

Taking a break is good at times, you need time to get used to the new you without the fear that you will regain the lost weight.

Have you thought of doing Lite n' Easy? All the meals come prepared for you and you won't have to cook so doing that for a few weeks will give you a change from point counting and it won't feel like your on a "diet" more like you've got your own personal chef to cook all your meals - sounds like bliss huh? Not having to worry about what you are going to cook, its ready and made for you to heat and eat.

I have heard from good authority, that Jenny Craig has a lot of junk food ( )but brings about good results, if it has worked in the past it might be the quick start you need

I'm glad that you aren't leaving the forum missy. What would we do without you? - cry ( )that's what we would do.

You'll work things out hun.

xoxo Bella

[lng86]

Hey Shel!

Bella's comment brings such truth. And I think the analogy of the onion is 100% accurate. I think success in weighloss stems most definitely from the head and from the head. It quite simply isn't about just food and exercise - unfortunately.

Bella's idea about Lite n Easy is a great one. I do work for Jenny Craig... As you know... So must be careful with my wording. BUT - the main difference between Jenny Craig and Lite n Easy is that support and accountability JC provides. I most definitely know JC works - but it isn't for everyone. If you are just after the food with little inconvenience, you know what to do!!!

We all believe in you.

I've got your back!

-Lauren.

[shelbel]

Thanks crew!! Where would i be without you girls? So i did take a trip to the self help section which has never been my style, im more of a 'suffer in silence' type anyway i got 3 books, one was 'adventures of dietgirl' - for inspiration, another was 'meditation for beginners' - to try and calm my mind and body down abit and learn to chill out. And lastly i got 'eating, drinking and overthinking' - for my head! I read the first few pages in the bookstore and had tears welling as it was a perfect example of the way my habits have been going. Also i brought a bright new journal to go with it all, one i intend on keeping up with good and bad! I'll see where all this takes me.

Thank you for believing in me too ladies, it really means great deal to me

[HappyBella55]

hahahah I have another converter . The self help section is the first place I go to when I enter a book store.

I promise you, self help books are the bomb. I have a confession to make - I'm an addict. You should see my book case, full of self help books

Adventures of Diet Girl - she's got a blog, very witty lady.

I swear by keeping a journal. I carry mine with me everywhere (well except on nights out ) and whip it out when I need to vent, get inspiration whatever. It is my safety blanket. I'm keeping them for life, when I'm an old woman of 60 I can look back on the long road traveled and be proud of all my achievements.

Hope your keeping well chickie, it sounds like your spirits are up

xoxo Bella

[HappyBella55]

How are the books coming along chickie babe? Finding them helpful, inspirational?

[shelbel]

Ive really been avoiding my journal (on here anyway) Im up and down at the moment, one minute i feel i can cope with another weightloss attempt, the next ive just devoured a whole (large) bag of M&Ms and im wondering where i can hide the wrapper so Hams wont find it. I dont understand how or why ive reverted into these sneaky old habits, you know, if no one saw me eat it, it doesnt count right??

In other news ive made an appointment with Jenny Craig for this coming tuesday. There is one 5 mins walk from my house and i have a lifetime membership, so all very handy. I think its so stupid but i actually felt scared to walk in there. I worked myself up so much about it i was close to tears! WTF!! Im the lowest weight ive ever been and im scared to walk into Jenny Craig and finish it off?? Ive done this before, im a veteran, but still the thought of walking through those doors petified me. I still really dont understand whats happening to me, why i cant seem to stop eating or obsessing about food so late in the game, or why ive fallen so spectacially off the wagon (about 3kgs added when i last behaved the scales) but i do know im TRYING to figure it out and find a way to deal with it and move on. I dont feel like my weightloss journey has finshed yet, i know i'll be back into it when i find the right headspace. Bella you'll be pleased to know my journal has been straped to my hands and its really been a useful tool, not to try and figure out the why and hows, but to be able to put down and get out of me a truely honest account of whats going on in my head, its not really things id put out here on the forum so having a place to be free to write whatever i feel is really liberating. Im halfway through both dietgirl and eating, drinking and overthinking. Dietgirl has really helped so far to help me see that it doesnt have to be the end of my current attempt even if ive gained some weight back. She is a top chick thats for sure! And the other was great at the start, then got really dreary with stats and crap, but is now coming good with some techniques to try and the like. Im very glad i brought a meditation book now, its next on the list! So thats the dreary depressing state of affairs in my camp. I hope to be back in the game soon.

Thanks everyone, happy and safe easter to you all.

[HappyBella55]

OMG I was doing the very same thing at the start of my journey. Lying to myself that what I was doing wasn't really hindering my weight loss. Gawd was I blind to my own denial to admit to the reality of what was happening. Wanting it so badly and actually dealing with it and doing something about it aren't factors that are on the same page. All these factors are sporadic and if the head space isn't right its not going to happen. And for it to happen you have to get them all in the one page to have one mo fo successes When your head space is right everything else follows and falls into place.

Babe, don't worry that you haven't been keeping up with your online journal,the most important is your personal journal. That's were you can be 110% honest with yourself without fear of rejection, failure, persecution because its only intended for your eyes only! It's a healing process so no judgment is involved. My journal goes with me to work, or if I'm out and about (gotta love the big bags) and when at home it is locked up in my desk draw. I won't let anyone read it (even the boy - I've told him if I ever catch him reading it, it is a sign of the ultimate betrayal to me and my trust of him) they are my inner thoughts that I can't share even with those closest to me. I had something terrible happen to me which I know will affect me for the rest of my life. And what I have discovered just by writing my feelings and being honest to myself about it is that, it has defined me! It changed my life and and the gaining weight because of it and now trying to lose that weight has been a rediscovery of who I am and I know with certainty its a tough journey to travel with lots of emotional highs and lows. Know this Shelley hun. you are a strong, beautiful woman who will persevere and get beyond this hurdle. It is a curve ball that has been thrown but you will persevere and succeed and be at a point where you are happy with your body and at the lowest weight you've ever been in your adult years. Remember this, even now with all the crap you are facing you are still at your lightest so you haven't lost at all!

I'm so glad you've taken the step and had the courage to take the step to go to Jenny Craig. This may be the support you need to see you to the end, which you are close to. Even though you've had a little set back. It is not the end! You are taking ACTION to battle through and continue your journey and most importantly not give up.

Also, don't be afraid that Ham will discover your discarded wrappers. I doubt he will judge you and look at you with disgust because you can't practice self control. It's not about self control. You have the self control (you have shown that with all the weight you have lost), its the emotions that cause this. I know when this happens with me, I am scared of something and not wanting to face, deal and confront the issue so I use food to block and face those emotions. I am essentially blocking those feeling from emerging by reverting to old comforting habits of eating the "whatever" feeling away. Eating is the security blanket. Now, there are times when I inadvertently revert to old habits out of habit really. But I have learned to use my techniques and turn to my journal instead. Even if I'm writing the same thing from previous entries it is still relevant and important for me to cleanse myself of those emotions.

Even though you felt horrible about your uncontrollable eating don't despair hun. It sounds like you are taking steps to change things and trust the boy, he may just prove to be the pillar of support you need.

Hang in there chickie, like you've said your journey isn't over yet and its ok to take a break to have a breather. There's no rule set in stone for weight loss. You have to do what is right for you and you are the only one that knows that.

mwah hun. I have faith that you will get in the right head space again.
xoxo Bella.

[lng86]

I personally think Jenny Craig is the answer you need at the moment.

They will provide support... motivation... guidance and most importantly accountability.

You can do this!!! I definitely believe that!