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the perfect house wife

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the perfect house wife

Postby charlimc » Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:59 pm

im writing this because i am struggling in being a " house wife " ive been living with my partner for about a yr, which i regret moving in so quickly but hey!.... so there is me my 4 yr old daughter my partner and his son is this big house. I feel like i am failing to do my role, im not working as i dnt want to work until my daughter is in full time school which is nxt yr i have my make up artisty diploma so i have something to go into. I am just in shock in having to take care of 4 ppl im used to just taking care of me and my daughter, but u would think that i should be used to it by now and have some sort of organisation happening since its been a yr. I do give my self credit that i do cook now for everyone which before i hated cooking, was not confident at it at all. But i am extreamly struggling in trying to keep this house clean, i hate the mess i dread waking up in the morning because i know this is my role and i have no motivation what so ever to do it at all. i also feel like i have a time limit to get everything done by 2:30 when my bf finishes work, hes been working and i dnt want him coming home thinking i have sat on my buttom all day. i feel guilty when i sit on this computer.. i need a routine happening cause this house is just out of control and its up to me to get it sorted. i just think what have i got myself into, before this i was having fun i didnt have restrictions i wasnt told my role i didnt have a time limit.. i cant even go out with or without my partner because he is so jelouse.. i duno what to do.. i do need help.. how do i get organised ? any tips ?????

sorry had to vent im just so frustrated
Charli x
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:03 pm

omg i am such an organised person, everything has its place at my place and i love cleaning. i would be happy to never work again but to clean all the houses in my street lol.

make a list of what needs doing- occasional jobs and daily jobs. make it attractive to look at and stick it on your fridge. each day do the daily jobs one at a time and then mark them off as you do them. first thing i do in the morning is put a load of washing on. this gets things flowing for the day. make sure you have good products to use. have everything in its place. i keep all my cleaning equipment on a dedicated shelf in my laundry linen cupboard. up high so heidi cant get it. that way its all where i need to be, viewable and plenty of stock incase i run out. i spend more on cleaning and personal items at shopping than i do on food! im sure you can ask your boyfriend to help out as well. a relationship is two way and therefore he should be contributing. mick was already a clean freak when i met him so we get along fine. he wipes up after dinner whilst i wash.

your daughter is old enough now that you can give her little chores to do around the house. make a big fuss about what a great helper she is and maybe you can come to some sort of agreement with her on 'payment' for her help around the house. in turn your boyfriends son (if he isnt too little of course) can also contribute to the house cleaning and order.
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Postby yummymummy » Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:10 pm

housework suxs there is no doubting that but the best way to deal with it is do abit each day, I probably spend about 30minutes doing housework every morning and that way I keep on top of it, I usually clean the kitchen daily, do the floors every 2-3 days, do the bathrooms as needed (I often clean them up when my son is in the bath!) I dust room by room so its not a huge task and when Im not working I try and begin cooking tea in the afternoon because evening times are hectic at my house. Also have a home for everything like bills go in one place as they come in and have a toy box in each romm so you can put you babes toys awy without it being to much of a hassle
Its amazing what you can achieve when you get stuck into it

as for the jelous boyfriend, Im not sure what to say -just because you are living together you still neded to have your own life, please dont feel like you have to clean up to keep bf happy far too much resentment will build up between you if you think like that, have a chat to him about it
take care :!:
Jody

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Postby oostevens » Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:36 pm

i would love to have time to clean. the hubby and i work 8-5 and we leave home at like 7 and get home at 6 and the day is gone.

we just did a big clean cos we had an inspection today, we were up till late last night doing that. we have now decided to try and clean more each weekend.

But another idea is doing 1 room each day. If its a big job.

Otherwise the washing as kate said is a great place to start, put that on, put some music on, but not too loud as u would want to hear your daughter and bf son (if they are home with u)

set a reward, for after certain jobs are done.

i spose its like weightloss isnt it. you set little goals, and get rewards until u reach ur ultimate goal :)

maybe apply the same kinds of motivational skills u use to lose weight.

can u remember a time when the house was all clean. do u remember the smell. the feel of the floor and carpet, the amount of happiness it gave off. After cleaning my house last night (in a rush that wore me and my hubby out) we felt so happy and loved the cleanliness of it.

we are not letting it get bad again!

and hey, u can relax! ur not married yet...are u?

u are ur own person. but i do understand how u feel, because the partner is working u feel its your job to clean, to contribute to the household :)

if i was you (which i aint at all) i would like to get all the cleaning done in the morning and then relax :) mayeb set out jobs to do up until 12pm or something and then relax :)

thats all the help i can give :p
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YOU CAN DOOO IT!!!!!

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[Second goal: to reach 75kgs]

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Postby charlimc » Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:13 pm

thanks guys im definatley thinking about setting up a routine for myself and writing it down, including the time i spend on myself aswell, ill share when im done if u like lol
Charli x
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Postby oostevens » Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:36 pm

SOUNDS GREAT :)
[*RACHEL*]

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[Second goal: to reach 75kgs]

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Postby local mike » Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:47 pm

Oh man, I would give my left jewel to be a househusband! I have no problems at all with the woman of the house making all the money, haha. As long as I got a healthy allowance, I'd be all over that. Wouldn't even be embarrassed to tell people at parties that I'm a househusband and my wife makes all the money ;)
I has a jogblog!
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Postby charlimc » Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:13 pm

lol i feel like u are following me mike ..... me i prob would prefer working i get bored same thing everyday is just not my cup of tea..
Charli x
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Postby soon2bayummymummy » Thu Sep 27, 2007 5:13 pm

i couldnt live without http://www.flylady.net Have fun but id love to work instead of being at home all day cleaning with my 3 kids, but i guess it doesnt help when i dont have a license hehe- kate feel free to come over anytime hehe
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Postby charlimc » Thu Sep 27, 2007 5:47 pm

cheers for the link :)
Charli x
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:12 pm

soon2bayummymummy wrote:i couldnt live without http://www.flylady.net Have fun but id love to work instead of being at home all day cleaning with my 3 kids, but i guess it doesnt help when i dont have a license hehe- kate feel free to come over anytime hehe


let me know when hehe
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Postby Misstoodles » Thu Sep 27, 2007 9:02 pm

I'm 17 and have never really lifted a finger until this week actually; Mum has started working so I've been doing her role. As far as children go, I feel more mature than 17 in most ways but in some ways feel very much a child still, so I've no real idea how to handle being a Mother.

But, the way I do the housework is I just try not to look at it all at once when I walk into a room, otherwise I'm just completely overwhelmed. I have like a little order I do things in.

Firstly the music goes on, otherwise it's way too chore-like, lol. Then:

I sort the clothes I see laying around into 'clean' and 'dirty' piles in the bedroom, then chuck the dirty clothes into the laundry and the clean ones get folded and put away.

Shoes go back into the closet and any bits of rubbish on the floor that might get caught in the vacuum get put in the paper-bin.

On my trip to the kitchen bin I take out any plates and glasses and put them in the sink and empty the paper-bin. Then I grab some warm water and disinfectant and a rag and head back into the room where I put all items that can be moved easily on the bed and then wipe over any surfaces that get touched alot. I then wipe over the items that need doing as I replace them where they need to go.

I wipe over the fan ( I can't believe how much dust those things collect!!), make the bed and vacuum the room. I spray the room with air freshener and open the window to let some light and fresh air in, just makes it all look even cleaner and fresher.

I do this in pretty much every room, except where they are tiles I sweep instead of vacuum. I sort out the laundry and put a load on and I do the kitchen last because there are often plates lying around the house. Nothing like doing dishes only to find there are loads of them floating around, lol.

In my opinion if you do the thorough stuff all in one day, it's easy to keep on-top of things every other day.

^_^ Mum's loving this. Haha.
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Postby Ses » Sun Sep 30, 2007 7:53 pm

God, I wish I could be so organised!

My hubby long ago came to terms with the fact that I am allergic to dishes and vaccum cleaners ....
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