It is currently Sat Jan 21, 2017 8:59 am
Livy wrote:You know Ali, the world is full of people who think they have a right to judge, or critizize others. I'm a size 18, and have lost count of the amount of times people ask me "When is the baby due?". The first 5 or so times, I was so ashamed, so embarrassed, I would just stammer red faced that I wasn't pregnant.
I then decided to change my self talk from "Well, you DO look pregnant Liv, they didn't MEAN it, You just took it the wrong way" to "They have NO RIGHT to speak to you that way, DON'T let them get away with it!!".
Just recently, only a few weeks ago, I had a lady from work ask how much longer I was working. (as in, I am heavily pregnant and will go on maternity leave soon). Ironically, I am pretty, well dressed, wear make-up beautifully and was dressed in a business suit and heels. She was a slob, in long pants and a crinkled blouse, and was about 1 size smaller than me. She asked at the top of her lungs, in front of a room full of collegues. That was the clincher. I turned to her ( I had met her maybe 3 times?), looked her in the eye and said "What on earth do you mean? I'm not leaving work anytime soon?!". ... "Well, she stammered, I just presumed....". I replied "Well Sweetheart, NEVER presume. I am NOT pregnant and I find you to be not only rude, but quite offensive!!, I suggest that in future, you should be a little more cautious before you open your mouth!!".
I walked off, smiling, while the whole room looked at this woman, who was red as a beetroot, and obviously was very embarrassed. DON'T let anyone get away with speaking to you badly. There is no need to be rude, or namecall, but these people do need to realize (even those who say they 'didn't mean it that way!') that it's NOT acceptable to be so insulting and rude to others. I felt really empowered, and totally flipped the situation from ME feeling humilated and upset, to HER realizing what a complete philistine she'd been. Next time she goes to make a snarley comment to someone, she may just think again.
People like her, and the man who insulted you, have big issues of insecurity, and therefore attempt to make themselves feel better by putting others down. I used to wait for my friends, or husband, or boyfriend to stand up for me and say "HEY!! How DARE you speak to my friend/wife/girlfriend like that!!" but they never did. They were/are frightened of the retalliation. I don't wait any longer. I say it like it is, and stick up for myself!!! If they want to retalliate to me BRING IT!!!
If a person is every again rude to you, try not letting him off the hook. The man who upset you got on with his day without giving you a second thought, and yet his offhand comment to you has upset you longterm on a much deeper level.
You have to learn to fightback!!!
Don't be nasty. Just tell it like it is. A simple "Excuse me!!??" can make a King of the Castle look like a Joker.
Butterfly_Dawn wrote:Ahh poo to him. I fart in his general direction.
I feel sorry for him. How sad to have to get drunk and stupid to feel ok to approach a girl - and then screw it up by being a moron. Imagine what his life is like? Laugh at him. He's obviously a clown.
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