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Encouraging words not wanted :(

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Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby HappyBella55 » Mon May 19, 2008 12:44 pm

This unfortunately isn't a very happy story :(

This morning on my run I overtook an overweight women struggling to run. I smiled at her, said "good morning, your going well, you can do it" and smiled. She looked at me with contempt in her eyes and said "what would you know skinny b*tch".

I was so shocked. When I first got back into my running I loved hearing encouraging words and smiles from other runners. I was so shocked that I just continued running on.

From now on I'm just going to keep my encouraging words to this forum. It wasn't nice being called a b*tch and now I feel like I'm in the wrong, when I know I have nothing to worry about. I too have been overweight and know the struggles, she's not to know that, still its not excusable to use degrading words like that.

Now, I keep over analysing the events of this morning....grr....I should do what my sis says and just get over it, it happens :(
Start weight - 77kgs
Goal weight - 53kgs
Current Weight - 50.1kgs


No more weighing, no more scales. My measurement is my success at health. It's an investment I make every single day. My priority: be healthy!
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Cac33 » Mon May 19, 2008 12:54 pm

Oh I can't believe it Bella!!! She obviously woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning!!! Try not to take it to heart, she has no clue about the struggles you have had to get to the point you are now & you should be proud to be skinny (just ignore the b!tch part of that comment).

We all love you & appreciate the encouraging comments you give us.
Cass

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby ali76 » Mon May 19, 2008 12:58 pm

Bella.....thats awful! I know who the b!tch is...and it's definately not you!

I guess the only advice I can give is to try not to take it personally. She might be having a really bad day - no excuse to take it out on you though of course.

Please don't let her put you off encouraging others. If it were me running and you said that to me, it would mean the world...you're a beautiful person with so much to give others, it would be such a shame for one miserable person to rob others of your encouragement.

Big cuddles hun,
Ali

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby shelbel » Mon May 19, 2008 2:01 pm

Unfortunately some people in life are just A holes!!!

Well her loss is most certainly our gain cos your saving all your encourgement for us!! :D

Like the girls said, try not to take it to heart. I know i love a smile and a hello when im out walking, it gives you a sense of comradey! (is that even a word?)

We love you Bella Baby!!!!!! :D :D :D
Highest Weight - 93kgs
Current Weight - 68.3kgs
Goal Weight - 65kgs

The wise man Stephen King once said - The only way to go on, is to go on. To say 'i can do this' even when you know you cant

You'll find me in the almost there section :)
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby HappyBella55 » Mon May 19, 2008 7:08 pm

awww you ladies, thank you for putting a smile on my face.

Cass, she probably did wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

Shel, unfortunately what you've said is true :(. This lady will have to get used to friendly hellos and greetings from other runners. Especially since she's running on a popular running track where you see all your regulars and everyone says hello or nods a greeting if they are struggling to breath lol.

Ali- you know what I'm not going to let one bad egg stop me from being friendly to others. You are right it does give you a sense of comradely (hehehe yep its a word Ali).
Start weight - 77kgs
Goal weight - 53kgs
Current Weight - 50.1kgs


No more weighing, no more scales. My measurement is my success at health. It's an investment I make every single day. My priority: be healthy!
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby milkyway » Mon May 19, 2008 7:55 pm

Aw Bella - we all know you're not a censored. I feel kinda sorry for her. She probably had a carful of jerks call her some awful name or three recently. At least she called you a skinny censored? :? :P
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Tue May 20, 2008 12:42 pm

I can't believe she said that! I love it when I get encouragement from other runners! It's a very solitary sport so any effort towards camaraderie is greatly appreciated. I think you were lovely to make an effort and say such positive things to her.

Maybe she was having a rough day. Maybe she's not used to genuine encouragement. Maybe she couldn't see past her jealousy of how great you looked. Or maybe she's just a complete and utter b1tch who will continue to be a b1tch no matter how much running she does or how much weight she loses. Whatever the reason I think it's really sad that she turned what could have been a positive moment into a negative. I wouldn't want to live life that way and I truly feel sorry for her. She may or may not end up losing weight and getting fit, but even if she does she's still going to be a miserable so-and-so if that's the attitude she has towards other people.

Tell you what, if you ever see me running feel free to give me all that encouragement that she didn't want! I certainly wouldn't be turning it down! :D
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby jilliansmyhero » Tue May 20, 2008 1:17 pm

hmm maybe she thought with u being skinnier and being more fitter than u were trying to make yourself feel better, hmm i must admit it will be hard when i start the c25k again this wk if anyone said anything nice to me, depending on how long the lady has been trying maybe she hasnt heard someone nice say anything nice to hear. i say keep telling people that there doing great, one day u might say it to some right people and make there day :D
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Moomoo » Fri May 23, 2008 2:56 pm

I was just thinking about this and i'm not sure how I would feel/react if someone said it to me...Please don't think I am standing up for this person in any way either! I'm just being truthful

If the person who said it was also on the big side then I think I would feel fine about it.

If the person was slim then I would be more inclined to think that they where taking the pi$$ out of me.
I guess this is due to comments I have received in the past from people about my body and me being paronoid about what people think about me.

I would not of said what she said as there was no need for that but I think that I would of thought it and probably gone home and sulked about it.

This is really weird as I've never thought about this much before! but it's like when I get my Mc Chicken sandwich from McDonalds (I can have this on weight watchers) I am paronoid that people are thinking "She's already fat and she's eating McDonalds!"

I guess this all comes down to your state of mind and perception of personal body image.

Hope you don't hold this against me :oops: I think it's all to do with insecurity
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Moomoo » Fri May 23, 2008 2:58 pm

I have just re-read my post and realised that I have just proven my own words by me defending why I eat McDonalds Chicken sandwiches! :shock: :oops:
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby HappyBella55 » Fri May 23, 2008 3:09 pm

Moomoo don't be silly I don't hold it against you!

I think you have made a very valid point.

In no way was I taking the p*ss out of her. I would never ever do that. This lady was running on a very popular running path were all the runners do great and encourage each other.

I know what it feels like to be insecure and I know how uncomfortable it can be to receive words (encouraging or not) from a stranger. I get uncomfortable when I get honked at or some guy checks me out. So I do know what you are saying.

But then again not all skinny people are out there to take the micky and sometimes things need to be taken at face value.
Start weight - 77kgs
Goal weight - 53kgs
Current Weight - 50.1kgs


No more weighing, no more scales. My measurement is my success at health. It's an investment I make every single day. My priority: be healthy!
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Moomoo » Fri May 23, 2008 3:25 pm

In no way was I taking the p*ss out of her. I would never ever do that.

I know, your too nice! You've been very helpful and supportive for me :D

Part of this is why I don't excercise in public, If you don't want to receive comments don't put yourself in the situation ,until your strong enough to cope. That's what I decided for myself :)

Take care mate if you see her again poke your tongue out at her :lol:
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby GoddessInside » Fri May 23, 2008 3:46 pm

Bella, I believe her actions were pure hypocrisy ... oh the irony !

How many times have we heard bigger / overweight ladies including ourselves say that we don't want to be judged on our size ? Yet she was the first one to judge and call you a skinny b1tch ! That's not on ! I got a lot of smiles, comments, greetings, nods of encouragement from fellow walkers & passengers in cars when I first started out and I must say that kept me going. That comradery and support does a world of good to your confidence, motivation and well being.

This lady has a rude awakening coming to her when she realises that you and your "comrades" are the same including herself and that you're all there for the same purpose, regardless of what stage you or she is at. Don't be upset about it hun, I am positive that what you said was to genuinely motivate and encourage her. Hell if she don't want it, we'll be more than happy to lap up more of your wise words of encouragement, support and love :mrgreen:
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SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby HappyBella55 » Sat May 24, 2008 4:37 pm

Helen, I never saw it in this light!

It is hypocrisy.

If only everyone on this world could play nice :(
Start weight - 77kgs
Goal weight - 53kgs
Current Weight - 50.1kgs


No more weighing, no more scales. My measurement is my success at health. It's an investment I make every single day. My priority: be healthy!
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby HappyBella55 » Sat May 24, 2008 4:39 pm

Moomoo wrote:if you see her again poke your tongue out at her :lol:



hahahaha you're such a crack up Moomoo :lol:

If I ever see her again I'll just smile and say good morning and keep on running :)
Start weight - 77kgs
Goal weight - 53kgs
Current Weight - 50.1kgs


No more weighing, no more scales. My measurement is my success at health. It's an investment I make every single day. My priority: be healthy!
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HappyBella55
 
Posts: 881
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:54 pm
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