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Encouraging words not wanted :(

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Moomoo » Sat May 24, 2008 9:16 pm

If I ever see her again I'll just smile and say good morning and keep on running :)

Then stick your foot out as she goes past :D :lol:
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby GoddessInside » Sat May 24, 2008 10:41 pm

Moomoo wrote:
If I ever see her again I'll just smile and say good morning and keep on running :)

Then stick your foot out as she goes past :D :lol:

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby electrongirl » Sun May 25, 2008 2:09 pm

What a rude cow!!

If I were you, and I am only say this is what I would do. I would keep a picture of myself before I lost the weight and when I see here again just hand it to her and say, "I havn't always been a skinny b*tch" and then keep running. That should make her think twice!!
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Athena » Thu May 29, 2008 2:47 pm

That's it, don't let the hot and tired opinions of strangers get you down. I know that where I go walking everyone smiles and says hello to the people they come across. It's simple politeness, and that lady has a few things to learn about that
It's times like these you learn to live again
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby yellowroses » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:25 am

OMG Bella! I'm so sorry she said that to you! :(

I have to agree with Moomoo on this though... I get really paranoid when thinner people say something to me - like anything - especially if I'm already embarrassed. Even my skinny friends, who when I b*tch about my weight they're like "Don't say that - you're beautiful!" I can't help but think "Yeah right, what would you know you skinny b*tch?" - and I don't even think that about them normally because I love them to death! It's just a knee jerk reaction that I have to put on this tough front or be horrible just so that people don't think that I am paranoid about my weight. It's really difficult to explain. But please don't think that I'm a horrible mean cow because I'm not I promise!!

That woman obviously didn't know what you've been through, and that you used to be like her once. She was probably feeling embarrassed and like crap and maybe thought you were having a go at her (I know you weren't though!). Or maybe she was just a generally horrible person and deserves to be kicked in the shin.

Don't feel bad about what she said to you, and whatever you do, don't stop attempting to encourage people on the running route! You never know - you may find someone who accepts your compliments and wants to befriend you! And - if you see that woman again, I recommend, running beside her and saying something like "We didn't really get off on the right foot the other day..." and attempt to explain to her that you were being encouraging because you've been there before as well!! Maybe she'll understand and apologise and maybe explain to you why she said what she did.

All you can do is look at the silver lining at the end of the day - she called you skinny :D
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby JWilson » Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:45 pm

Gee... I like it when people talk when they are running or walking.

Most people just run past like you don't even exist.

Keep on talking, don't let her bad attitude put you off.

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby sarahloveshoes » Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:37 pm

I think she was feeling out of her comfort zone, embarrassed and judged by all the other people that ran past. Obviously she didnt know about your own weightloss and was offended when you said "come on, you can do it", to her it may have sounded like you thought she was lazy and not trying hard enough because she was in such a negative state of mind at the time. I know if I was running outside and a skinny 50kg girl told me i could do it i would be so angry that she would even put herself on the same level as me and pretend she knew me and my struggle.

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Robin » Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:04 am

Um...she may have thought you were being sarcastic.

If you see her again, run past and say "when I started, I weighed ....kilos". "See you again tomorrow".

I'm afraid we all tend to sometimes judge other people without knowing the full facts.
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Jisgone » Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:56 pm

this is a very old post... the original poster doesnt use the forum anymore robin :)
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby ThisTime » Wed Jun 24, 2009 3:23 pm

Hi Bella,

That lady said a horrible thing to you which was totally out of line, but the more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for her. She's probably at her wits end.. I know at my old job I worked with alot of skinny girls and they were ALWAYS giving me weight loss advice even when I wasn't asking for it, and wasn't even dieting at the time!!! I never said anything nasty to them, but to be honest I was actually really offended by their efforts to help. I wasn't ready to lose the weight then and I felt like I had to hide what I was eating from them all the time in case they started with the "tut tut, you shouldn't be eating that!" routine.

It's a totally different situation, but in a way it helps me relate to the angry lady. If you could stand it, I'd try again with her. Look out for her next time, and say hello again, and this time mention that you know more about the situation than she might think.
Tell her you won't offer any encouragement from now on, but should she feel like she needs some, she can give you a nod and you'll give her some kind words.

You might get her to see the mistake she has made and see that she's been terrible to you, and who knows, it may help her on her journey!

Of course.. she could just be a cow ;) ;)

All the best..
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:55 pm

Oh that's hard for you.

Putting yourself in her shoes, if she's overweight, chances are that she's not got a good body image. A lot of us have been there too. I certainly have. When you have a bad opinion of yourself, you tend to talk and think negatively about yourself and tend to think everyone else thinks the same thing. She was probably putting her own thoughts into your mind, thinking you were thinking "wow, what a joke, look at her, yeah I'll just give her a bit of encouragement, because obviously that lard arse is needing it". And if she thought you were thinking that, no wonder she reacted like that.

What I'm trying to say is that she wasn't reacting to you, she was reacting to herself. She's probably hurting pretty bad and it might be a while before she can accept encouragement and praise.

If it makes you feel any better, I've had people give me encouragement and it always makes me happy! I always think, what type of world do I want to live in? The world where everyone gives you the cold shoulder and is out for themselves or the world where people smile and give you a hand when you need it? I know which one I want so I TRY and reflect that in the way I live. I say try 'cause I'm not perfect :wink: But not everyone is in that place, and that's ok too.
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby qwerty1 » Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:02 pm

lol she must have taken it the wrong way. I wouldn't think too much about it.
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby yoyogirl » Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:00 pm

Hi everyone,

I'm still a newbie but just scanning the posts here. Well done Bella on trying to encourage the other lady. I know I really really appreciate it when other runners encourage me.

Please don't take it personally. I'm sure she's just loathing the exercise and is mega jealous of your body.

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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby Princess_Lissa » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:20 pm

awww... i hope this doesn't stop you from encouraging others, Bella.

it's sad that the girl seems to be too pressured losing weight, that she seems to not have fun anymore...

if there's one thing about weight loss, it should bring out the beauty-- both inner and outer-- in all of us. Ho well, we can never really please everybody.
"If you can dream it, you can do it!" -W. Disney
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Re: Encouraging words not wanted :(

Postby oztweety » Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:12 pm

You did the right thing trying to encourage her. Some people just dont know how to accept encouragement.
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