Big Girls Don't Ride......Ha Yer Right!
"No really I don't want to hire a scooter, I am scared of the traffic"(complete lie. I am scared of being the heftiest person on a bike in a sea of lithe Vietnamese people, I am scared of my enormous arse being wedged on top of a 125cc scooter, I am scared of being laughed at)
Come on it will be fun says my perfectly proportioned travelling partner(Ha fun! yer right the scooter won't instantly collapse under YOUR weight I think)
He tries another tact , you don't want to do anything on this trip, you just sit around all day doing nothing he voice whines.
OK I snap, I will do it!(Oh dear god kill me now)
We walk the 30 seconds to the bike stand where a tiny Vietnamese lady is squatting in the shade. I am sure I see a look of horror sweep her face as she glances from me to the waiting scooters.
We get two red scooters pulled out of the line for us and we pay the mighty sum of $3 each. Now is the moment the scooter lady and several women friends that have gathered around have been waiting for. Eyes widen in anticipation as I lift my leg over the scooter, it gives a slight groan of protest as I sit, but to my amazement the tyres don't deflate, nuts don't fly off from every direction and the gathered cackle of ladies don't fall to the pavement holding their sides in hysterical fits of laughter.
I start the engine it whirs into life and produces a sound a mosquito would be jealous of. I put it into first and it moves! it actually moves with me perched on top of it, well bugger me! Then I look around me and I see a family of four whizzing past on an identical scooter and then there is two men on a scooter with a full size fridge wedged between them. I watch a sea of people on scooters zip past me. None of them glance in my direction.
6 hours later we are back at the scooter stand. We have ridden past jade green rice paddy fields, flocks of school children on bicycles in unbelievably white uniforms, tiny towns with friendly locals and barking dogs. I am wearing a watermelon smile and have had the best day in a long time. Something is forming in my head and I wonder how many other fantastic days like this have I turned down based on worry about my wobbly bits?
