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Post-weight loss dating issues...

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Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby Stars Go Blue » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:39 pm

I've always had a lack of confidence with guys due to being overweight. But now that I've lost all of the weight, there are new issues that have caused me to be self-conscious still. Even though the weight is gone, I'm still left with old reminders such as faded stretch marks and skin that hasnt been toned yet....I know it sounds stupid but now I feel uncomfortable with the idea of guys seeing me naked for the first time, and then having to explain I was a lot bigger than I am now....does that sound stupid? I guess I'll have to deal with it soon, I'm just hoping that guys arent too judgemental.. :oops: Anyone else have concerns/fears like that?
SW: 85
CW: 58.5
GW: 55
Stars Go Blue
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Re: Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:05 am

I think we all have fears about being judged when we get naked. From what I understand about men they're usually simply happy to get us naked - they're not going to waste time judging out bodies when there's ogling and groping to be done. :wink:

One thing I think women should remember is that most of us girls haven't seen many other women naked. So we compare ourselves to the women we have seen naked; usually models, actresses or porn stars. Most guys on the other hand have seen a few women naked. They understand that bodies vary and that very few women look like barbie dolls when they're undressed. They're a lot less judgmental than we give them credit for!

Yes, there are some guys out there who are only into looks. But if you get to know the guy enough before going to bed with him you can usually weed them out. Most guys are more interested in having fun with women's bodies than criticising them.
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Re: Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby I'm Simon » Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:40 am

EvilWombatQueen wrote:I think we all have fears about being judged when we get naked. From what I understand about men they're usually simply happy to get us naked - they're not going to waste time judging out bodies when there's ogling and groping to be done. :wink:

HEY ! .......I resemble that remark :wink: :lol:
I'm Simon
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Re: Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby mumnbub » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:56 pm

Dont worry, i have those issues plus some. I had complications after my son was born and have extra scars, one from an iliostomy which has now been reversed. I was torn so badly that have had to have surgery. So not only do i have a saggy belly and stretch marks but i have all those other issues- how can i ever be with a guy?
But we just have to know that when the right guy comes along he wont care about those things as the right man will love us for who we are on the inside.
If you really cant move past this problem then it might be worthwile speaking with a councellor- works great :)
Start weight: 98kg April 2008
22/12/08- 80.7kg
29/12/08- 81.8kg
04/01/09- 81.6kg
12/01/09- 81kg
19/01/09- 80kg
09/02/09- 79.3kg
Next goal 75kg

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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:43 pm

Re: Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby KIR57 » Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:19 pm

if a guy is really that superficial that he cant accept you for the way you are streatch marks, flabby belly etc then hes really not worth it.

its whats on the inside that counts, the exterior is just a bonus....

there is always someone out there that deserves you, clearly ones that judge you on superficial bullshit doesnt deserve you at all

my best friend julie is about a size 20 - 22 shes got massive knockers and big hips wich make her that size, she doesnt look overweight as such... she has been seeing this older guy (about 20 something years older than her) for years on and off, mainly just casual, they have been doing the whole boyfriend / girlfriend thing lately, so she comes out and asks him if they are together, he turns around and giggles and says no.... not until you loose 20 kilo's. she is a awesome chic with bubbly personality and a great heart. shes now depressed all the time and abusing her body by starving herself for this guy. i drove the 45 minutes to her house in whoop whoop so she could cry on my shoulder. she is being stubborn and saying that she needs to do this for him and i eventually convinced her that she dosnt have to change herself for someone who is so superficial and treats her like censored.

she deserves alot more and i know her perfect man is out there somewhere.
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Re: Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby Sussy » Sat Jan 24, 2009 7:39 pm

What an absolute DICK!!!

People can be so unbelievably cruel, i am constantly amazed at what some can people do and think nothing of it.

Karma is all i can say......
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Re: Post-weight loss dating issues...

Postby Robin » Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:30 am

My sister knows this bloke who likes women with big boobs - he says so on matchmaking sites. He also insists that he doesn't want to have anything to do with "overweight" women.

Well, the other day when I was visiting her, he turns up. What does he look like? Handsome? Slim? Fit? Well-groomed?

Nope! Nearest description would be a VERY well worn, over-stuffed, thread-bare, sofa that was given to the dog to sleep on ten years ago. He could afford to lose at least 20-30 kilos and a trip to the doggy groomer would assist (maybe).

The hypocrisy of this (excuse for a) man is absolutely mind-blowing.

From what he has told my sister it is not surprising that he is divorced, broke, lonely etc. His attitude to women can only be described as mysogynist in the extreme.

Any woman who allows such excuses for men to dictate to them needs a spinal inplant. I am sorry that your friend is involved with this type of pond-life.
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