I understand Marvaver I too have had problems with my son, from the ages of 15 - 29 he was so totally out of control due to drugs. He has sorted him self out but he will never be normal as the damage has been done. I was so stressed all the time but I had to learn in the end that he choose that road. We will always love him but I refuse to let myself be dragged down again. He knows that we will always be there for him as long as he stays away from the drugs but there comes a point when we have to think of ourselves
The last 2 years have be the best in many years, I thank God every day he is not taking or smoking anything and that it will continue. Now I worry about my little granddaughter and pray she never goes down that road.
You are a mother Maraver and it is in our nature to want to protect them, that will never change. You must believe that you do not deserve to have their problems on your shoulders otherwise it will destroy you.
It is not easy but you have to take a step back, tell them you love them and always will but whatever path they choose they are responsible for themselves.
Keep stong, now it's time to think of you.
Also, I think you did very well to have stayed the same and not put any weight on.