Hi guys, I thought I would share my story so far with you all. It will also help me reflect on my thoughts, motivation and struggles when I am down or need some perspective.
I started to lose weight at the beginning of last year (2005). I was 105kg. I tried to do Aerobics Oz style most mornings before work and I used to do a set of lunges, squats, pushups and weights. I used to go for a walk most nights (for about 20-30min) but not all the time.
I then got serious about it this year. I started walking 5km each day to a milkbar to buy the paper. I was awesome. I was loving it. I really enjoyed my weightloss (I had lost 16kg) and I was happy!! I then started doing a little bit more. I joined the gym and began body pump and cycling class (once or twice a week) and I even went swimming (me? in bathers??? It was so hard at first) and I swam, maybe once a week too, on top of my 5km daily walk.
I got down to 77kg and I loved myself!!! Then I hit a wall. My weight had plateued. I felt like I had stepped it up as much as I could (time and energy wise) and I couldn't budge anymore fat! I don't know where my enthusiasm went, I don't know how I lost my motivation and discipline but it just faded away. And here I am. I am back up to 82kg.
I am still struggling mentally and trying to gain back that strong will I once had. I am trying to remember how great I felt and I am trying to focus on being healthy and thin. But it is hard. I remember it was this hard at the beginning of my weightloss. However I just need to remind myself that back then, I was 105kg, and now I am only 82kg so it is much better than before and I don't need to be that hard on myself.
I think I get disappointed with myself because I tell myself I should be going back to my healthy ways immediately (walking 5km, swimming, aerobics etc) however, I guess I just need to ease myself back into it gently, like I did in the beginning.
Its very hard to comvince myself that this is a new beginning and requires baby steps because another part of my brain says "C'mon! You used to be able to do this and that, so get to it!"
I am at my new beginning. I am going to try and forget what I "used" to do and how I "used" to be. I need to find a new way of thinking and not be expected to jump into the deepend just because "I used to be able to do it"
I am starting now.
Here are my guidelines for myself:
~ I am going to try and stick to a calorie controlled diet. I will try to eat no more than 1500 calories a day.
~ I will try to eat a small dinner
~ I will not eat anything after 7pm
~ I will cut back immensely on alcohol
~ I will try to drink 2L of water a day
~ I will exercise every single day (and start off slowly)
~ I will walk daily (30mins minimum) and I will lift weights and do sit ups
~ I will tell myself daily that I am good enough and deserve this and that I am worth it dammit!
~ When dining out, I will order a salad, grilled fish or other healthy alternatives -even though these are more expensive than pizza/pata etc
~ I will try to have 1 or more pieces of fruit and vegetables each day
~ I will try to cut out snacks at work (minimal or NO biscuits, cakes etc). I will bring my own healthy snacks instead (sultanas, fruit, rice cakes).
~ I will keep a food diary and I'll be honest
~ I will weigh myself once a week ONLY. I am becomming obsessed with the scales so once a week is enough from now on!
Any advice or concerns would be welcome. I feel much better about getting that off my chest. I am sick of feeling like a failure and ashamed of who I am but this is it. I am starting it now!
Wish me luck, guys!