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The traumas of clothes shopping!!

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The traumas of clothes shopping!!

Postby lillabell » Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:23 am

I suspect that I have been trying to loose weight for the last 15 years and I have never yet managed to succeed or to maintain any weight loss. Here I am again, 5 kgs heavier than the last time that I tried and I wonder if it is ever going to stop.

As an example I have listed below all the things that I have tried:

Slimfast
Slimming World
Scottish Slimmers x 2
Weight Watchers x 4
Rosemary Connely
The Aitkins diet
Appetite Supressants

No matter which one I am on whether it involves counting or weighing, I become completely and utterly obsesed with food and enevitably I fail.

Time and time again I will promise myself that this is the last time and I really will do something about it. Each summer I resolve that next summer I will be different and will not be hiding under long sleeves or baggy tops telling everybody that it is not really that hot when I am compeltely melting! This year my resolve was to loose my excess by my 30th birthday which was 2 weeks ago and needless to say I am still the same.

I went shopping at the weekend which is my most dreaded and depressing activity. There are so many clothes that I would love to wear and just can't. I would love to be able to pick something up and straight away know that it will fit me, I would love just to throw on a summer dress without thinking and go out.

Each night I resolve that I will go to the gym before work and each morning I feel exhausted and re-set my alarm. This morning was no different, my gym gear is layed out at the end of my bed and I choose extra sleep instead!

How do I break this cycle, as I desperately want to be able to get this sorted. I don't want to put myself at risk of all the preventable illnesses that are around. But it is much more than this, I want to gte everything that I possibly can out of life and right now I now that my weight stops me from enjoying and living my life to the fullest.

Any advice from people who have managed to beat this monster would be much appreciated. I am hopping that this website will allow me to be more honest than I have ever been before about things. I lie (just small little ones) to people continually about it, telling my trainer that I have been exercising and telling my parents that the gym is going well. But the worst thing is that I lie to myself about it too.

Thanks for listening/ reading this diatribe!!

Lill

:(

PS apologies for any spelling mistakes, I tend not to think about it when I am ranting!!
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Postby Mandie » Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:35 am

I think this type of pattern is REALLY common.

The key is pretty simply really - lifestyle changes that you can maintain, as opposed to going on a "diet".

Once you deprive yourself of something, you CRAVE it. Go on a strict diet for a week, and when you blow it, you will BLOW it!

I think you should start with small things, small goals.

Set a goal to do some exercise for 20-30 minutes, 3 times a week. When you have achieved this for a couple of weeks, step it up.

Set a goal to drink 2-3L of water a day. When this is habit, add in something else. Watch your portion sizes, but keep it realistic. Limit takeaway food. Limit after dinner snacking. Keep healthy snacks in the house.

Go at YOUR OWN PACE.

Does it really matter if it takes a year or even more to lose the weight, if it means you will keep it off?

Aim for a loss of 1-2kg a month. Doesn't sound like much, but trust me, its the easiest way to maintain.

Best thing is - in the end, you are healthy, and living a healthy lifestyle. There is no "coming off" the diet, because you have just made healthy changes for the better!

Don't beat yourself up for slip ups. Take a deep breath, and realise we all do it, and move on. If you are DESPERATE for chocolate - have a small piece, savour it, and get over it. If you deny yourself for too long, you'll end up eating a whole family sized block!

Best of luck, hope my advice helps! :D
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Postby Mandie » Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:36 am

Also - I also ignore my alarm in the morning for exercise.

Maybe try mixing it up - pack your gym stuff in your car, and force yourself to go on the way home from work (don't come home first! once you come home and sit on the couch its all over!)... or try an evening walk?
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Postby Ally » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:29 am

Hi Lillabel I guess you have just discovered a really important thing and that is that diets just don't work!! You have to be prepared to have a complete lifestyle change. I agree with Mandie about the denying yourself foods. If you say that you are never going to eat chocolate or chips ever again...it is usually the thing that stares us in the face where ever we go! The inevitable then happens...a pig out on the thing we tried so desperately not to eat. This then leaves us feeling a failure and ashamed of ourselves which is often quite destructive. "Everything in moderation" is the key as this way we are still able to have the things we love, but in smaller and often the correct portion sizes. I have lost 30kgs previously and I did so by still having either 4 squares of chocolate each night or a mint pattie...this still fit into my everyday allowances and I didn't have to feel guilty about having it..for the first time in years a block of chocolate survived more than one night in my fridge!! I learnt quite a valuable lesson that the food is still going to be there tomorrow or next week etc, there was no need for me to eat the whole darn thing!!

Start off slow and make gradual changes to your eating and exercise. Food diaries are invaluable and be honest about everything that goes into your mouth...this prevents "calorie amnesia" and from there you may be able to sit down and figure out how you can make gradual changes..You will get through all this and you will find a way to make changes to your lifestyle and lose weight.

You may have noticed on your journey across our boards that we have many people on different programs....don't be disheartened by this, but understand that the programs are just the tools that each individual has discovered works for them. I hope that you find that happy balance mate that will tip your scales on there downward path...I hope this is some help to you!! :wink:
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Postby ~Ash~ » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:46 am

hi Lillabell, i agree with mandie and ally - don't try to completely avoid certain foods.. it will only make u want them more and then cave in to a massive pig-out!

i'm not on any special program i just make sure i drink 2L of water per day, eat smaller portions, avoid having junk food more than once every 2 weeks and try to do something active each day..
i'm a huge chocaholic so i still allow myself to have 1 Tim Tam every 2nd day, and if i really want fast food i will allow myself a small amount (like 6 mcdonalds nuggets- no chips or drink, though!) in place of lunch.. it means that i can still have the things i crave, but i have to do extra work to get them, like miss out on other more filling foods, so i don't want them as much anymore anyway..

i also struggle to get up and do excercise in the morning, so i try and go to the gym after uni for 45mins or so, or go for a 1/2hr walk at the beach, or even just walk to the shops to get a dvd, or some bread..

good luck with your weight loss.. i'm sure you'll find all the help and support you need here!
Go team MAGENTA!!!!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:32 am

Hi lill

everyone above has mentioned some great tips. i just want to say that i know where you are coming from with the clothes shopping. not being able to just pick something up and know it will fit. and every new years eve saying that my resolution is 'to lose weight'. at least i dont have to say that this year. keep your chin up, put in the hard yards and you will get there. if weightloss was easy then there wouldnt be so many overweight people in this world
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Postby Groovychic » Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:09 am

Well Lill you have been given some great advice here. Just take it really slowly. One thing at a time. And portion control is something that you think seriously about. The majority of us eat way too much. But it needs to be that lifestyle change. And it has to happen slowly, unfortunately. Its the only way will learn the new ways and make them stick. They say it takes 7 days to break a habit. So I presume it takes another 7 days to learn a new habit. As Ally said "everything in moderation". If chocolate is your thing have a nibble when you really feel like it. I read somewhere ( I think it was in a weight watchers thing) that this woman would buy 7 little choccies etc and that was her limit for the week. So it could be one a day or she could eat the whole lot but have nothing left for the week! If you are a sweet tooth buy some diabetic lollies. The mint ones are pretty good. In the beginning of trying to get rid of my sweet tooth I would suck on one of those after dinner or in the afternoon when that craving started. Those were my danger period times. Recognise when your danger period is and be prepared. Good luck with it all. We are all here to support you. :D
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Postby slimmindown » Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:14 pm

Welcome to the forum Lil, there is not much to add to all the great advice above.
Hoepfully this time will be the time you can make those lifestyle changes that stick. Joining this forum certainly is an extra added bonus that has helped me achieve my goals so far, I know it will be beneficial to you as well.. 8)
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Postby KimE » Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:45 pm

There certainly is plenty of great advice there and I think along the same lines as the above comments. Slowly change your lifestyle to a healthier one and to something you can maintain for life.

I was always told it takes 21 days to form a habit so don't try it for a week and throw in the towel. Whatever changes you make (remember to make it slowly, keep them small and realistic) stick with them 3-4 weeks to really evaluate if a thing is working for you or not.

All the best.
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Thanks for the advice

Postby lillabell » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:32 pm

Dear all,

Thanks for the advice, I think that one of the problems that I have is that I try to make all changes that I should make all at once and then don't manage to achieve any of them. Makes the whole process very disheartening and I tend to think that what is the point of doing one thing if I can't do them all. I think that you are all right though and I need to focus on a small habit change and make sure that I can maintain it for a certain period of time (say 2 weeks) and then move onto the next one and slowly add in all the positive lifestyle changes that I need to make.

I think for the next couple of weeks I am just going to focus on writing everything down that I eat and also drinking 2L of water per day, and once I have done that for the 2 weeks I will then look at the diary and work out what other changes I should make!

Thanks again

Lill
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Nov 21, 2006 7:26 am

hi lill

writing everything down sounds like a great idea :) and you will notice the difference with the water drinking! best wishes lill :)
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Postby KimE » Tue Nov 21, 2006 5:01 pm

Yep sounds like a great plan Lill. Little by little you will win the race and don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself room to grow with it. Best of luck.
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Postby Mandie » Tue Nov 21, 2006 5:49 pm

Yep, your plan sounds very sensible.. you can do it!
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Postby pinkchick » Mon Dec 11, 2006 7:25 pm

well i think most fo them have covered it but dont worry u will get to that gym have u tried after work cause u already up and going even if its once a week its something or go for a walk somewhere nice or make yaself walk to the shops but dont give up
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Postby Dee » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:49 pm

I bought the Walk AWay the POunds DVD's and have found them great. I would far prefer to get up in the morning and workout, but I too whack my alrm clock, so I have started making myself do a workout before bed. It's only half an hour, but it's better than nothing, and if I wake up in the mornign with energy - bonus!

I have found keeping a vague t6rack of calories to be useful - it means I'm not cutting anything out - I know I should eat about 2000 cals per day - which is MORE than enough, and it means that I can have something bad without blowing my "diet". This way I'm never beating myself up for failing, I cna just move on and keep going. Also, expect that you are gonna have days or weeks where you don't stick to it, but that as a percentage of the year, the month, whatever, you are going to eat better and move more often.

Best of luck.

Dee
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